Forgotten City Book 1 (Edited and Revised Edition)

I sigh as I gaze out the foggy window on the Greyhound bus, headed out of Colorado. The vibration of the metal beast was almost enough to soothe my soul. Maybe if I could just focus on the darkness outside, I could slip into it too. But the constant buzzing of my best friend Tiffany Giles kept me alert. I know she was trying to help. Tiffany has always been like that.

My name is Allison Kimball, and I am a first year archaeology student. I should be having the time of my life right now… We are on a once in a lifetime trip. I have Tiff with me and my boyfriend. Not to mention the entire class. We are on a trip for a week away from school…  But it's complicated. And when I say “complicated,” I mean it.

I feel Tiffany's arm slide across my shoulders and pull me in for a hug. I love her hugs. They are always so comforting and inviting… Inviting me to feel. Inviting me to live. Inviting me to forget… If only I could forget.

"Hey, sweetie. You gotta talk to me. I'm here for you! In fact I'm still shocked you decided to come along at all this weekend, after what happened to your parents and all..." Tiffany said gently. The look on her face is of complete understanding and compassion, which is just who she is.

I close my eyes and try to center myself. I need to focus on something, but the only thing I can feel right now is darkness. I want to meld with it. I want to slip into it and become one with it. Maybe then I can rid myself of my pain. But nothing seems to help.

I open my eyes again and look over at my BFF and the only one in the whole world who could empathize with me. Tiffany is the definition of a cheerleader. She has long blonde hair, blue eyes, the figure most boys can't take their eyes off of. But most of all, she is always cheerful! She sees the best in everyone, and would make the best of every situation. She is my soul sister. And right now, she is my biggest support.

Tiffany and I  had been planning this trip for months. Mom and dad had been so excited for us to go on this trip and helped me save money just for this! They wanted us to have the best time of our lives.  It is the end of the term and Professor Williams has booked our first year Archaeology class a trip to a dig out in a southern California desert. This should be one of the most exciting days of my life.

But it isn't.

I sigh deeply. "Tiff, I don't even know what to say. My parents died in that car wreck 2 months ago. Everything still feels so raw to me right now and I can’t focus on anything. We have been planning this trip for forever. Even mom and dad had been excited for us to go out on our own and live a little. But now they are gone and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I know they would have wanted me to go... But I feel so... so empty. I have no one left but you. Well, and Jason."

Thinking of my newish boyfriend brings me a warm comforting feeling to my chest. It doesn’t make me excited or filled with joy exactly. He is okay if I don’t need to make out with him every time we are together. It just feels like he is an anchor and I’m a ship being tossed at sea and he is strong and dependable. I need that right now. I don’t need feelings of desire or lust to mess with my head right now.

My eyes shift over to Jason, who is sitting in the row across from us talking to his roommate, Ian. They are both chatting happily like nothing in the world would bother them. They are really good friends and that makes me nervous… I just can’t explain why. I know Jason needs Ian, but their personalities clash… Don’t they?

Jason Phillips is a shy, nerdy kinda guy. He is sweet and always makes me feel safe and secure. That is what drew me to him in the first place. He had that shy smile and was always checking on me to see if I was okay. He would give me warm hugs and a kiss on the cheek.  If he was like Ian… I don’t think I would have been able to handle that.

I actually try to avoid Ian. He is the life of the party type of guy. He is super friendly, but also has girls hanging off his arm wherever he goes. I’m not sure how I feel about that, so I just try to stay away from him. He is too dangerous for me. And why does it bother me anyway? I really don’t understand.

He really is nothing like Jason. Thinking about my boyfriend, I remember how it all happened. It brings peace to my aching heart. There is nothing threatening about Jason. He is patient  and sweet.

Just a few weeks ago he finally got the courage to ask me out. I remembered how cute he was when he walked up to me all flustered. His cheeks were all red from nerves. He ran his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair, and pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. He had a slim build, as if he spent more time behind a desk than at the gym. His soft blue eyes focused on me and said, "You look like you could use a cuppa coffee. I was just on my way to get some myself. Would you like to join me?" I thought it was the most adorable thing that he was stumbling all over himself that I immediately replied "I'd love to."

"Alli, I totally get it. Your parents were the best! I loved them and I miss them so much! They were my second parents all growing up. Whenever I'd get in a fight with mine at home, I could always come over to your house and your mom would have a batch of chocolate chip cookies made within the hour, along with a nice cold glass of milk and a listening ear," she says, her eyes misting over as she remembers her time with my family.

A teardrop falls down my cheek and I smile. I always loved that about my mom. She was always so caring and ready to take the burden of those she loved. And she loved Tiff like a second daughter.

Mom and dad wanted more kids, but mom had cancer in her ovaries and had to have them removed. It was hard on both of them, but they never showed it. They just took my friends in as their own and treated them with such love and care. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost them when I was younger.

"Hey, Tiff, mind if we swap seats for a bit?" asks Jason with a sweet smile. There is a twinkle in his eye he always gets when he looks at me. It makes me happy to know that he is happy… At least, I hope that is what that looks means. Sometimes I’m not quite sure what it is I’m looking at.

Tiffany winks at me. "No prob!" she says and stands up so Jason can take her place. They kinda do a dance around each other's bodies and then she slips off to find someone else to chat with.

"Hey, sweetheart. How you holdin' up?"  asks Jason, as he sits down beside me. My heart does a kinda soft thump against my chest. I like his company and his care for me. He really is the best boyfriend.

"Hey, Jase. I think I'm doing better than yesterday," I answer, as he takes my hand. As always, whenever he holds my hand I feel all warm and fuzzy. It isn't love, but it is a comforting feeling. Maybe the best I can think of to describe it is an affection for him.

"That's all anyone can ask of you. Just take it one day at a time. You can make it through this, and I'll be there to help you," he promises. Then he leans over and kisses me lightly on the cheek. That normally is all he ever does is a soft peck on the cheek and he never pushes me for anything more.

Giggling broke out from the other side of the aisle.  Ian is flirting with all the other girls. Of course he is. He is gorgeous! With his thick, glossy, black hair, big dreamy brown eyes, deep tan and that dimple on his right cheek. What girl in her right mind wouldn't fall for him? Like I said, he would be too dangerous for me.

He turns his head, as if he can feel me watching him. Butterflies erupt in my belly and my face flushes. I wish he didn't have that effect on me. I knew he could have any girl he wants, and probably does. Not that I listen to all the rumors going on about Ian. And I really would not believe the girls that are spreading those same rumors… Most of them are hanging on his every word right now…  But he would never want me. He just likes to flirt with me because I am with Jason.  He sends me a sly grin and a wink, then turns back to his adoring fans.

Sara Mills came up from behind him; she scoots her way over Tiffany and ends up on Ian's lap. She really is shameless and doesn’t care that there are others on the bus who may not want to be witness to her throwing herself and Ian.  Sara drapes her arm around his neck, and Ian puts his arms around her waist. "Hey, baby," she coos. His eyes shift to me with a question that I don’t understand.

Her voice has a way of turning my stomach, and I don’t even know why! It may be too sugary sweet or…

I jerk my head towards the window again so I can't see him. Maybe if I ignore him long enough, he will get bored of me. After all that is what I want. I have Jason, who is sweetly holding my hand, and completely oblivious to how Ian is making me feel.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I have no desire to be one of Ian’s groupies! I can’t understand why it bothers me so much to see Sara get all touchy feely with a guy that has no interest in me. We are nothing to each other! And it is going to stay that way…

And still, I have this gut wrenching feeling to go and pull Sara by her hair and make her sit in her own seat! I don’t even plan on taking her spot, she just needs to leave!

I need a distraction from all these emotions; which is the main reason I decided I would go on the trip. I need to shut my brain off and the only thing I can think to help me do that is sitting next to me, sweetly holding my hand in his. I turn to Jason, "So, are you ready for the trip of a lifetime?"