Ahi ahi!
A fucking horsefly just ate me and my elbow has doubled in size. It took me by surprise,
I was checking that the water was coming out properly from the tubes placed on the ground of the vines and while I do this work there are many things that touch my body, from leaves to insects to blades of grass so it's not like I do much with it in case I feel something leaning. It's only the sharp, sudden excruciating pain that wakes me up and which, among other things, scares me as if a viper had bitten me.
Suddenly I look in the direction of the super painful spot on my arm and I see a fucking black spot that in an instant comes into focus and it's a fly the size of a blacksmith's thumb that is sucking my blood with the same gusto as when child I sucked a bottle of pear juice through a straw. Fucking gadflies!
Trying to stay calm like Harry (not Potter, the other one, the dirty one) I gather all my strength, mentally concentrate them in my left hand and without hesitation give myself the kind of blow that has an intention, a purpose, an aim.
Eliminate from the face of the earth that great son of a .. hmm.. that deplorable, cruel and insensitive being.
Bam! Using force also with the arm that meets the speeding hand to have the maximum destructive result. Nothing.
The fucking winged Dark Vader flies away like nothing happened.
As if I had the small frail hand of a court maid who has never done shit in her life. As if instead of my calloused and vigorous hand as an improvised farmer I had had a feather duster. As if the criminal insect also had Iron Man's armor.
I immediately informed myself online. For it's not like I can have any doubts about my virility now! on my male pride! on my power!
Luckily I read that those perverse insects have the particularity of having a specifically resistant exoskeleton made up mainly of chitin, which is a polysaccharide, minerals, proteins and calcium carbonate which makes it unusually hard!
Ook, my honor is safe, my arm a little less so.
