Chapter 1
I wake up and grab my phone, opening Instagram. I know grabbing your phone is the last thing you should do when you wake up but I don’t care. I scroll through my feed, models talking about what they eat in a day and billionaires talking about their path to success.
One day that would be me. I close the app, opening Snapchat and sending a few snaps to my friends. I don’t usually use it, I generally use Instagram. Snapchat is mostly for streaks and whatever.
I reopen Instagram, scrolling through my feed and making note of what these gorgeous models eat to get their physique. I also workout, I should probably get out of bed and get to that, but I needed a few more minutes of sleep.
Well, “rest”.
“Désirée!” Mom calls up the stairs. I heard the bottom one creak as she came to fetch me. She was successful, she was a lawyer and she paid me a good amount of allowance. I kept most of it, I don’t have a lot of things I want to spend it on.
I sit up, rubbing my eyes. I set my phone aside, as if I just woke up, she’s always preaching about how my phone should be the last thing I check when I get up in the morning.
“Honey, school starts soon! You need to get up and get ready!”
I slide out of bed, opening the door just as she reaches it. “I’m up, Mom. I’ll be down in a minute.”
She smiles. “It better be a minute, you don’t have much more time until the bus comes.”
I didn’t like riding the bus, usually I talked Mom into driving me, but today I had to since she had a meeting.
I got dressed, doing my makeup quickly. I was pretty, don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t look like the supermodels I followed. I wanted to be something people wouldn’t forget, and if that had to be through my face so be it.
I grabbed a poptart and snacked on it while waiting for the bus, calling a goodbye to my mom before climbing on. Kids didn’t bother glancing at me as I passed their seats on the way to the back, and I sat in my usual seat.
Kids filed onto the bus, shuffling to their seats and getting extra minutes of sleep. I watched out the window. I have friends, but they all have parents that drive them to school- how lucky!
Mom uses driving me as some sort of treat, like if I do really good on a test she’ll give me a ride. It’s kind of stupid, but I accept because I hate riding the bus.
We stop at a red light, and one of the boys a little further back than me throws a paper ball to the front. The bus driver’s tired eyes snap to the mirror, searching for the culprit.
I hear someone pretending to snore, and a couple of the other boys snicker. It’s stupid, we’re in middle school, can’t they act like it?
I guess that’s the bus driver’s fault, he lets us seventh graders back here as if we’re high schoolers. It’s almost ridiculous. I go back to watching out the window and another paper ball flies.
Someone up front squeals and the ball comes soaring back. It landed in my seat, and the bus driver was watching before yelling, “Hey! Quit throwing things around on my bus!”
Nobody moved, and everyone was quiet. He went back to looking at the road, glancing in the mirror a few times before finally arriving at the school.
High schoolers got off the bus, snickering and chuckling about the boys’ antics, and some high-fived him on their way out. I watched, thinking it was stupid of him to do.
But, hey all of us younger kids want attention from the cool high schoolers, right? So if that’s what we have to do, it’s what we have to do, I suppose. I glanced at the boy, and he smirked at me.
When we were released to the middle school I found my friends, and they were both super chatty already. “How was the bus ride?” Clara jokes.
“Ha ha. Some kid decided it’d be funny to throw paper balls at the front. The bus driver didn’t say much ’till we were closer to the school.”
“Oh,” Clara smirks. “Who was it? Your crush?”
“No.” I blush. “Not him. He doesn’t act like that.”
“How do you know? You don’t exactly talk to him.” She elbows our other friend, Jenna. “You should ask him out. You don’t have much time left.”
“Sure I do.” I glance at the clock, though that’s not the time she’s talking about. “I can just wait until I know for sure he’s worth it.”
“Love is always worth it.” Jenna croons, and she and Clara start laughing. They love to capitalize on my feelings for entertainment, since they don’t really have lives.
I smile, knowing they do this all the time. I’m nearly immune, but I can’t deny that it does hurt sometimes. Like, what did I do to them to warrant them acting like this?
“Sure, it is. But say I do tell him I love him, right? Then he says he loves me back and it turns out he doesn’t. He’s just some jerk with no life of his own so he bullies people to feel better about himself. Say it’s like that, then. Why would I risk it?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” Jenna asks. “I mean, shoot your shot, the worst that could happen is you guys’ll break up.”
“Yeah, then I’ll be the laughingstock of the school!” I exclaim. “Look at her, she dated Blake and then broke up a week later! You know how dumb that is? How embarrassing. I don’t want to be known as the ex of some kid.”
“Some kid who won’t matter when we graduate anyway, so who cares?”
I shrug. I care. If I want to be seen as someone’s girlfriend I want them to be someone good.
“So,” Jenna draws out the o. “Are you gonna shoot your shot?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. Not yet. I really don’t want kids to only associate me with him. I want to be my own person first for now.”
“That’s fair,” Clara agrees. “Well,” She pauses. “How were your siblings this morning?”
“I didn’t see them. Obviously Gracelyn drove because she’s so cool like that. And the younger ones got to sleep in.”
“I wish we could sleep in,” Jenna groans. “Instead we get up early and come to this crappy place and sit in one spot for hours on end.”
“Literally!” Clara exclaims. The bell rings, and we all head to class. We take our assigned seats, not near each other, sadly.
I don’t get why teachers separate friends, I feel like kids work better when they’re with people they’re comfortable with. Random kids? Definitely not.
But that doesn’t matter to teachers, because they think all the kids will talk and goof-off. Maybe the boys will, but the girls won’t.
I guess it’s because they can’t favor girls over boys because then it’s favoritism or whatever. I don’t know.
We go over our homework, and I zone out a few times. “Remember, guys,” Mr. Mack says. “This is for a grade. Correctness, because we’re going over the answers. They’re on the board, does anyone need to copy anything down or ask any questions?”
I quickly check my answers, fixing things as needed and paying more attention as he moves on.
The boy from the bus, Blake, was scribbling, probably not paying any attention. He wasn’t exactly the cutest boy at school, but he was cute.
He had dark brown hair, and he was one of the few boys without perms. I liked that about him, since most of the kids thought they rocked the perms.
In my opinion, they’re the equivalent of mullets. UGLY.
He also had deep brown eyes, and he had a charming smile. He was sweet to substitutes and could talk them into letting us do what we want, for the most part. Work with partners? Why, yes, honey, of course! Have a snack? I don’t see why not!
Those skills would probably be useful in the adult world, but I don’t know. I have plenty of time before I’ll be an adult. We’ve still got another year of middle school, for starters.
When the worksheet was completely reviewed and all questions were asked, Mr. Mack collected them, he shook his head at Blake’s, and Jenna and Clara giggled.
They weren’t twins, but they might as well be. They were always on the same brainwave and they were always thinking the same thing. I guess they’re like the same word in different fonts, and maybe I’m like them since we get along so well.
I know people talk about how trios always have the little duo in them, and I know I’m not in the duo, but I don’t mind. Who knows? We might not even be friends forever.
They even look alike, both have blonde hair and light blue eyes. They also matched clothes a lot, usually wearing some form of crop top and jeans. They had style, I’d give them that, but it kind of sucked that I’d never really be a part of the duo they had going on.
At lunch, Clara and Jenna giggle and talk about what they want to do over the weekend. We usually hang out, but I don’t think I want to do much this weekend.
“Guys,” I interrupted their little speech. “I don’t think I want to go out or really do much this weekend. My social battery really needs charged.”
“Even for us?” Clara asks, and I nod awkwardly.
“Yeah, I think I need a break from you guys, too. I’ve just been feeling a little exhausted lately, and I think it’d do me good to take a little mental health kind of day.”
“Oh, okay,” Clara looks hurt and I smile.
I feel like she’s kind of being selfish, we had hung out every single day over summer break.
“I’m sorry, it’s nothing against you guys. Have fun without me, you know!”
“We can’t. We’re three peas in a pod, not two.” Jenna says. “We can’t just go ‘have fun’ without you.”
“I feel terrible. Hey, it’s only Wednesday, maybe I’ll change my mind. What are you guys planning on doing, exactly?”
“Probably having a sleepover at my house. We can play board games and stuff,” Clara says, shrugging. “It wouldn’t be as fun if it were just me and Jenna.”
“I’ll try to come. I think I just need a good night’s sleep. Are you guys doing anything after school today?”
“I have cheer practice,” Clara says. “It kinda sucks, and I’m thinking about quitting. The new captain is really mean and she thinks she’s so good at the routine because she made it up.”
“That’s not even fair!” Jenna exclaims. “Obviously you’re gonna be good at something you made up!”
“Yeah, but people forget that,” Clara shrugs. “Yay me, I guess. What about you?”
Jenna shrugs. “I have some summer work to catch up on. I haven’t been doing all the assignments in Miss Craig’s class.”
I feel like grimacing, but I know that won’t look very “supportive” of me. “Oh, well, if you need any help I can probably try. I know most of her assignments are easy, they’re more so about what you think.”
“Ooh! I love option assignments! Since there’s no right or wrong answer.”
“Yeah, they’re probably easier to grade, too. Teachers probably just look to make sure there’s actually effort put in and bam, easy A.”
“That’s, like, cheating,” Clara says. “What if they’re not even reading our work?”
“You think the teachers want to read around one-hundred essays a day?” I smile. “I wouldn’t.”
Clara shrugs. “If we have to do the work they should have to grade it.”
“That’s a fair point, too.” I admit.
She smiles. “Exactly. I feel like they assign all this extra work but don’t actually grade it and whatnot. I don’t know.”
“I think they just need to give something out to say they’re teaching,” Jenna says.
That’s probably right, too. Blake walks around aimlessly, stopping to talk to kids periodically. He was social, and that was kind of cute about him.
I’m an introvert, so if we did date at least I would have someone there to support me in public. It sounds kind of dumb, but it’s hard being an introvert and then ordering your own food and whatnot.
When we go out to eat, Mom or Dad always order for me.
Jenna and Clara had started a new conversation, planning what we would do at the sleepover on Friday. I kind of zoned out, instead watching Blake make his rounds.
He sat with a couple kids, chatting for a while before finally stopping at our table. “Hey, how are you guys?”
Clara looks at me, her eyes wider than usual. I glare back at her, and Blake looks between us. I’m glad guys don’t really understand facial emotions.
He raises an eyebrow, and I smile at him. I hope it looks charming. “We’re fine. How about you?”
He shrugs. “I’m good, just trying to make sure everyone’s having a decent day, you know?”
I nod. “How come you were throwing paper balls on the bus?”
“I was bored. You know he isn’t gonna do anything. Sure, maybe he’ll get on me, but I don’t think he really cares as long as everyone is safe.”
“Yeah,” Clara blinks a few times, slightly nodding her head. I give her a mom stare, and she smirks.
Blake looks between us. “Is everything okay? Why is she staring at you like that?”
“I don’t have anything on my face, do I?” I ask sweetly. “Sometimes that’s how she tells me, so I don’t embarrass myself in front of people.”
“Oh, uh, no?” Blake checks, smiling. “You look fine to me.”
Jenna looks at Clara, also smirking, and Blake smiles at them. “Well, I’ll see you guys in class or something. See you later, Désirée.”
“See you later!”
When he turns his back, I want to kick Clara under the table.
