Everdeen

THE SALAD DAYS OF ANACHRONISM

Sometimes I think maybe if I had known what was to happen, I would have left sooner. Sometimes I wish I never knew love existed. It’s unlike me to think that way though. My mind isn’t the same I suppose, nothing is really.

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PART ONE

She was always nervous. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before though, it was extremely adamant in the way she existed and took every step as if the ground she walked upon was out to get her. I wonder if she was aware of it, or if she thought everyone behaved like this. She was never on this planet with the rest of us, she was living in worlds that she created in her head, so maybe she really didn’t know much about the rest of the population.

“ Everdeen!” My mothers sharp voice rudely interrupted my train of thought. I wish I could be like Juliet and live in a universe that wasn’t tainted nor touched by this life of mine, the world around me would just vanish and it would be the most amazing gift. I pity those without an imagination.

“ Sorry.” I muttered in response to her demand for my attention, and looked down to my plate, stabbing the meat with my fork repeatedly until it’s shredded to pieces on the dish.

Mother scoffed, “ Honestly everdeen it’s like you’re millions of miles away, you should learn to be more present, no one will take to you if you’re always behaving like a child playing pretend.”

My father laughed to himself from the head of the table, inhaling his supper like it was his last meal.

Meet my mother, and meet my father. They were quite the pair together, Irene and Thomas Avery. Personally, I believe the only reason they go to bed together every night fully convinced they were in love, was because of their shared hatred towards their daughter. I’ve heard the whispered conversations they have in the dark, the discussions about my mannerisms and habits that would shock the devil himself.

Sometimes, on the rarest of occasions, I would catch a glimpse of them grasping at straws. Trying to find something they have in common and coming up empty. Trying to love each other’s personality, to share an interest, and it always comes back to me. I’m unladylike, or I’m ignorant. I’ll die an old maid in my childhood home. I’m lonely, or depressed, or I’m too happy and cheery for this world.

I think that if I were to fall in love with a young, strong man, and he were to fall in love with me, I wouldn’t give in just to spite them.

I have tried to fall in love. I would never admit it to anyone but at every single one of these balls that my mother hosts for the sole purpose of ensuring my future, I stare at the boys who show interest. I concentrate on their features, their voice, mannerisms. I try my best to find something to love. I try to be attracted to something, anything. Though usually I just end up even more frustrated and annoyed with everyone in the room.

Everyone there is so polished, so scripted. They find no joy in life, they have nothing to say other than what they are supposed to say.

“ Is there something wrong with the food in front of you dear?” My mother raised her poised eyebrow at me, then glanced at my plate and the rather decomposed food on top of it.

I shook my head, “ No mama, nothing is wrong with it..” I reassured her before she did something ridiculous and made Juliet send it back to the kitchen, knowing how much she would loathe that confrontation I added, “ I’m just not feeling too well is all.”

She stared into my eyes gravely, and I didnt break once.

“ Everdeen, I swear if this is one of your stunts to get out of tonight, an event that I have been preparing for weeks on end, it is beyond childish, and beyond hurtful might I add. You will finish your meal, and then be sent up to your room to prepare for tonight.” She finished her speech by setting her silverware down and looking towards Juliet expectantly, waiting for her to clear her dish. If you ask me, that was what was beyond hurtful.

“ Mama, I’m not trying to get out of anything, I didn’t sleep last night, but I’ll perk up for your auction tonight I promise.” I insinuate what we both know to be true.

She rolled her blue eyes, for maybe the fifth time today and stood from her seat. Her dramatic exit was followed by my fathers scolding.

“ You always do this everdeen, why must you upset her this way? Hmm?” He slammed his own silverware down to the table, an action that used to scare me. Thomas’s way of intimidation was aggressive and loud, he made his anger known when he was mad, then complained that I was Childish.

He massaged his temples, eyes closed as if the stress of me existing was too much to bear. I could relate in some ways I suppose.

I went over all the apologies in my head, the things I could say to placate my father, eventually I decided on, “It’s never my intention to upset her, I will go apologize now if you think that’s best.” Then I rose from my seat, and left him alone.

He has been witness to many petty arguments between me and my mother, and everytime it ends with my mother leaving, and him saying it would be best to go comfort her, though he never tried to, just sent me to do his dirty work regardless of my protests. Why not beat him to the inevitable punch?

Now obviously, I did not hunt my mother down to plead for her forgiveness, I went off to sneak a sugar cookie from the kitchen to cassie’s room. Or at least that was the plan until I found Oliver, my tailor’s brother, in the kitchen, speaking with Logan, one of the staff members.

My mother hated Oliver, since the day she met him she thought he was scum. Which means since the day I met Oliver, I’ve loved him.

He was grinning from ear to ear when I arrived, facing his friend. They were speaking of the event tonight I think, or something concerning tonight. Oliver laughed and looked down, hiding his facial expression from everyone but Logan, who quietly teased him about something. I stormed over to where I know Juliet leaves the sugar cookies specifically for me and cassie, grabbed one and tore a small piece off. Then chucked it as hard as I could towards the back of Ollie’s head.

The bastard didn’t even jump, just slowly turned around on his heels, and looked towards the ground to find my choice of weapon. Logan

stifle his laughter behind him, trying his best to focus on the cutting board in front of him and failing desperately.

“ Out of all the friends I’ve ever had, you must be the only one to

greet me in such delicious ways everdeen. I have to say, I quite like it.” He curtly addressed me, trying to hide his own smile. One thing I’ve always admired about ollie, is his attitude about life and its annoyances. Whether it’s throwing a cookie at his head, or stranding him in a vicious storm, he always finds a way to enjoy himself. It’s near impossible to annoy him, and ever since I’ve had that realization I have never stopped trying. As much as I love the guy, I do wish I could make him cry once in a blue moon.

I smiled back at him as I turned around to gather a dishcloth, “ Next time it’s a state of the art blowtorch, find that delicious.” He only laughed more.

I managed to steal two cookies from the decorative plate,I arranged the rest to look perfect, to cover my tracks of course. You can never be too careful with my mother stalking the staff members, constantly criticizing.

Oliver hoisted himself up onto the counter,something Logan Never let me do. Logan didn’t like me all that much, unfortunately for him I like a challenge.

“So princess, are you going tonight or are you gravely ill?” The boy on the counter inquires. Though he has no room to talk, when we were younger he was my accomplice when it came to faking a deathly sickness. Once, he kept everyone out of my corridors and convinced them that I was highly contagious, he even pretended to catch whatever the hell I had claimed I had.

Another time he managed to fool everyone into believing that he lost his vision, and under no circumstances could he be expected to assist his brother with a fitting. He kept that up for three months. Stubborn fool.

I turned to face him, “ Not quite sure, still deciding.” I went over the options in my head, all the possible scenarios racing in my mind. I could work up a cough, trip and break something. Tempting.

Ollie opened his mouth to say something, but his friend interrupted before he could get anything out.

“ You should go, Everdeen.” Logan mumbled out, setting the knife he weld down on the board his eyes were glued to.

I snapped my head over to him, he still didn’t meet my eyes.

Ollie slowly jumped off the counter, looking at me, then at the beet red chef, who still has yet to look up. The silence continued for a good minute, me and my dear friend in shock.

“ Did he- did he just speak? Like, too me?” I whispered, looking at Ollie.

Logan sighed heavily, making his annoyance known.

“ I’m not sure, Logan, do it again.” Ollie ordered his friend, unlike Logan he kept his eyes focused on the chef, the playful grin never leaving his face as he continued his teasing.

“ Shhh Ollie you’re going to anger it.” I joked.

Oliver threw a towel off the counter at Logan,then hid behind me.

“ Speak.” He commanded. Then made kissing sounds that made us both howl in laughter, I promise we are both very nice people, truly.

“ I think we broke him ollie, how will we ever eat now?” I spoke through my laughter.

Logan grabbed the knife off the board, “ You two sure know how to pick your moments of relentless bullying.” The whole time he spoke he pointed his weapon at us.

I gasped, ” Oh my Ollie he’s going to kill us, mother always says don’t anger the peasants they’re violent.”

Ollie dramatically flinched before hiding behind my frame. Still Crouching he said, “ Did I tell you you look especially pretty today, Logan? Please don’t hurt me.”

“ I can’t, you, I-” Logan tried his best, the poor guy still blushing. HE slammed the knife back on the counter, and turned away from us, however I did see a smile playing on the corner of his lips, he loves us. I know he does.

I could hear Logan rolling his eyes as he started walking away, furiously mumbling something in italian, and yes he is italian and a chef, he’s sensitive about it though, it’s kind of a sore spot.

“ Wait, Logan, come back!” Ollie shouted

“ Logan, we love you!”

“Logan!”

“ I love you!”

“ You left your knife!”

“ We’re lonely!”

This continued until we heard “ Shut up the both of you, holy fuck!” We both fell to the ground laughing together.