All For Show

My alarm blared in the most annoying, brain-shattering way possible.

“Ugh!” I groaned as I blindly reached for my nightstand.

It was still dark out. The sun wouldn’t rise for at least another hour, but I lived by routine. Even a late night wasn’t going to keep me from getting my workout in. After silencing my phone I rolled over to stare up at the ceiling to savor a couple more moments of peace.

When the snooze timer ran out, I reluctantly dragged my body out of bed and went to the bathroom. The bright light from the vanity was an unwelcome reminder of the too much wine I drank the night before. Nevertheless, I walked out of my apartment ten minutes later in a sports bra and leggings, carrying my yoga mat.

I was practically running by the time I made it down the elevator and across the street to the studio.

“I saved you a spot!” Ashley called brightly.

I gave her a grateful smile and started setting up my gear next to hers. “Thanks, girl. I owe you.”

“No worries,” she winked. “Besides, I want to hear all about date night.”

I grimaced. Just as I was about to tell her it was a flop, Instructor Jill marched out to the front of the room with her headset already on.

“Namaste and good morning,” she said in a serene voice that filtered through the room’s surround sound. “Thank you for joining me in today’s journey.”

She began the class’s warmup and I knew I was safe from Ashley’s questions for at least the following hour. With every bend and stretch, I tried to let go of my frustration from the night before.

It had been fun… until it wasn’t.

I agreed to go on a blind date arranged by a friend. He was charming and handsome. He held the door open and paid the bill without batting an eye. We strolled down the street arm in arm after dinner as though we were an old married couple.

This is it, I had thought, This is what a real date with a grown man feels like.

I was tired of the games guys my age wanted to play just for meaningless hookup. Adam was a few years older than me. When he said he was looking to settle down, he really seemed to mean it.

It was already late when I slipped talking about my job. I’d told him I was an executive assistant, which was true. What I failed to mention was where exactly I was employed.

As our final meditation wound down, I could practically feel Ashley vibrating in anticipation next to me. I groaned inwardly as my hope that she had let it go dwindled. We barely started picking up our gear when she turned to me.

“Okay, so how was it?” she asked giddily. “At the very least he was definitely gorgeous.”

“Oh, it was fine,” I lied with a forced smile, but she saw right through it.

“Uh oh,” she frowned. “What happened?”

We stepped out onto the sidewalk and I wrapped my windbreaker around myself against the chilly morning air.

“What always happens,” I sighed. “He found out where I work and got weird about it.”

“Aww babe, I’m so sorry,” she said gently. “I thought you decided you were going to avoid talking about your job?”

“It was an accident,” I shook my head. “It ended pretty poorly after that.”

That was the watered down version. I left a half finished cappuccino on the table across from Adam at the small coffee shop where we stopped.

“What kind of secretary needs to sign an NDA?” he had scoffed.

“I’m not a secretary,” I insisted. “I’m his assistant. I literally manage the man’s entire schedule. I make sure every piece of his life is in order from the time he wakes up until his head hits the pillow.”

“So what? You pick up his dry-cleaning on your way in?” he asked condescendingly.

“No,” I responded in a flat tone. “I hire the man who picks up his dry-cleaning.”

He looked slightly taken aback.

“I’m privy to every piece of company information as well as his personal life,” I explained. “Everyone wants a piece of him and he’s extremely busy trying to give them his attention. I make sure everything runs smoothly.”

“What? Do you travel with him too?” he mocked.

That’s a new one, I thought.

“Sometimes,” I looked at him over my mug.

I could see the wheels turning in his head and took a deep breath in preparation for what was coming.

“So you spend all of your time with America’s most eligible bachelor?” he asked with a smirk.

“Go ahead and ask,” I told him.

“What do you mean?” His feigned innocence made my blood boil.

“It’s the same question that always follows,” I shrugged. When he continued to stare at me I leaned forward and lowered my voice to mimick him. “So, Anna, how’s the boss in bed?”

He chuckled. “Well I mean, why else -”

“Would he hire me?” I rolled my eyes. “Go fuck yourself. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am.”

I pushed back my chair before stomping away. It was the same way most of my relationships ended. If it wasn’t on the first date, it was when they saw my apartment and started asking major questions about what I did for a living.

Ashley’s voice pulled me out of my reverie.

“Earth to Anna.”

“Huh?” I asked dumbly.

She smiled and shook her head, “I was just asking if you had time for a coffee before work.”

“Oh,” I glanced at my phone for the time and noticed multiple calls and texts from ‘GP’. “Uh, no. I think I might have to head in early. Rain check?”

She tilted her head.

“You know, it’s okay to think about yourself too, hun. Adam might not have been ‘the one’,” she held up her hands when I started to argue. “Maybe he was the biggest jerk in the world, but I also know nothing comes before your job. You’ve been on dozens of first dates over the last few months, and all of them seem to fizzle despite you saying you’re ready for something long term.”

I frowned and looked away.

“Hey,” she said gently and reached for my arm. “I’m not saying you should settle. I just don’t want you to miss out on what you’re looking for. You’re beautiful, smart, and successful not to mention one of the most lovely people I know. The right guy is out there. You just need to be ready to find him.”

I sighed. “Thank you. You know, it’s weird actually. Sometimes I think about giving up on love altogether, but…”

She smiled sympathetically, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting love, Anna.”

“Easy for you to say,” I chuckled.

Ashley had married her college sweetheart and quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom to their two perfect children. They had a beautiful condo on the Upper East Side and took fabulous international vacations as a family several times a year. I always thought about her life as the happily-ever-after fairy tales talked about.

“Even when you have everything, it can be hard to recognize it,” she said. “At one point we were two broke college kids eating ramen on the floor because we couldn’t afford a dining table. Evan and I lived through the hard times to enjoy the good.”

I nodded and then felt my phone start buzzing again.

“Thank you again, Ash,” I told her and held up my cell. “I gotta run, but I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“You bet,” she called as I hurried back across the street.

I answered the call as soon as I was out of earshot.

“Good morning, Mr. Powell.”

“Annalise,” he greeted. “Oversleep?”

“No, I was at yoga,” I told him as I climbed in the elevator.

“Yoga ended twenty minutes ago.” Before I could question how he knew that, he continued, “Mark will be there to pick you up in thirty minutes. I need to be on the line with Shanghai in an hour.”

I stifled a groan. Another day of rushing to get ready only to be thrown directly into a meeting.

“Of course, Mr. Powell,” I answered.

“I have that lunch -”

“At noon,” I cut him off. “I’m the one who put it on your calendar and made the reservation.”

“Right,” he answered, sounding amused. “See you soon.”

The line went dead and I jammed the button for my floor repeatedly. When my apartment door swung open, I threw my yoga mat and kicked off my tennis shoes before running for the shower.

It’s going to be a dry shampoo day… again.