Try to write in the first person and do describe your characters

"The pace is quite refreshing I love it, however the writer's tendency to lapse into the third person is very distracting and a major flaw, but I'm sure this will be overcome with practice, besides that the reader has no idea how the character's look, without adequate description your character's remain in your head and your readers, can't follow, or should I say lose themselves in your fantasy, this too is a flaw that can be overcome, "