Chapter 1
Lily swats a newspaper on Levi’s hand, making his bowl of cereal fall to the floor. “What the-“ Levi looks at his flatmate but instead finds a page of the newspaper in front of him. “LOOK.”
“You disturbed my meal.”
“LOOK, LEVI.” Levi rolls his eyes and looks at the column. He finds the words “HAYDEN STATHAM IN LONDON” in big, bold letters. Levi rolls his eyes because he doesn’t care if that singer is in their city, it’s only his flatmate who does, and it’s all his flatmate ever talks about.
But someone pops in his mind the second after the words “Hayden Statham” sink in. If Hayden Statham is in London that means Hayden’s best friend is too. But Levi mentally slaps himself because he knows that she has forgotten about him and she’s got a life now. She’s living it up, making billions of money and records and albums. Levi knows it’s over- that they’re over- but he wonders why there is a voice at the back of his mind telling him to give himself one more shot. Afterall, he was the one who left her- feeling-wise, meaning “stopped loving her”- and not the other way around. Levi was the one who gave up because he thought it was for the best. There had been no communication at all between them and Levi was satisfied. He wasn’t happy but was satisfied.
“And?”
“We are stalking-“
“No.”
“YOU DIDN’T LET ME FINISH.” Lily sits on the table where Levi’s bowl of cereal has been but is forgotten on the floor and clutches on the newspaper like her life depends on it.
“I know what you’ll be saying. Hey Levi! Let’s go stalk Hayden Statham! I’ve loved him since I was a freaking fetus.” Levi looks at his flatmate with an expression that Lily chose to ignore.
“That’s not true! I was about to say that we’ll be stalking his bouncer!”
“Nice try, beautiful.”
“Thank you for the compliment. Fine, fine. I really want to see Statham.”
“You mean fuck him, right?”
“I think he and I should have dinner first before that.”
“You mean kiss him first.”
“PARKER.”
“What? I know what rolls inside that dirty mind of yours, you slut. Not gonna work on me.”
“BUT-“
“Speaking of work, we have to get ready.”
“TELL PAUL, I’M SICK. I really want to see Statham!” And Levi wants to see someone else as well. A secret he’s been keeping but Lily doesn’t know this or else they’d both flip. It’ll drive Lily mad and persistent and it will surface Levi’s memories about them and he’d be hurt all over again. “You can fuck him tomorrow.” But Levi has decided.
“PAUL? EEW.”
“I MEANT STATHAM. Geez, Lily.” Levi bends to pick up the bowl and hands it to Lily. He dives in for the kill because he’s tired of burying his emotions- the longing because of the distance and the hate because he forced himself to.
“Are we going to look for Hayden tomorrow?” Lily’s eyes light up and crumples the newspaper at hand. Levi knows how this would mean the world to Lily and this would do him a great favor to shut Lily up about whining to meet the star. He would also do himself a great favor to clear up the mess.
“You wash this and I’ll mop the floor.” Levi stands up but Lily reaches to hug him on the waist with the bowl still at hand.
“WILL WE REALLY LOOK FOR HIM?” Lily’s eyes are brighter than ever and it makes Levi happy. He sighs and nods. “WHOOOOOO!” Lily raises her arms and pushes herself off the table to jump-hug Levi. They both hear the bowl shatter on the floor and the moment stops to look at the poor object. Levi sighs and looks at his dear friend.
“On second thought, you’re cleaning everything.” Because Levi has to prepare for a bigger mess. Something that he is afraid he’ll regret.
Lily can’t wait to finish work so she could look for newsfeeds on Hayden Statham’s whereabouts. “I think he’s roaming around.” Lily leans on the counter as Levi gives the change to a customer. “Your meal will be served in a while.” Levi smiles at his customer but turns to frown at Lily. “No, Lily. He’s probably in his hotel room wondering where you are.” Levi turns back to the counter that separates him from the kitchen and rings the bell He hands a duplicate receipt to Stan, their cook. “Table 15. He wants the steak medium-rare.” Levi tells him before facing Lily.
“REALLY?” Lily beams at him.
“In your dreams, yeah.” Lily groans and rolls her eyes. “You’re such a great friend, Parker.”
“Always am, precious. Now get back to work before I ask Paul for overtime.”
“YOU WOULDN’T DARE.”
“Shush!” And that definitely made Lily shut up and head to her station. Lily and Levi have been working in this semi-fast-food restaurant “Circles” at a 5-star hotel called “The London Grand Hotel” for three years, specifically after Levi’s break up with her. The name of the hotel makes Lily’s eyes rolls everytime she hears the words, or even says it at least, because she doesn’t find the name “classy” enough but it makes her all giddy inside because she believes that Hayden Statham actually owns the freaking restaurant—because Hayden’s family owns half of London— and that someday Hayden would visit her then the scenarios go on and on.
Lily stands on one corner of the room, if ever one of their customers needs “attention”, as she would call it, so she wouldn’t have a hard time running to the customer/s . Lily should have gone the day off searching in Google for Hayden’s whereabouts, at home calling every agency in the city to beg- or bribe them even- to find out information, or she could be around the city in her car to look for the star. She shouldn’t be working her ass off today. She looks at Levi hoping that her friend would get the message to leave right away. Levi just sticks his tongue out and he definitely got the message. She looks at the clock like it holds the location of Hayden but makes her more upset because her shift ends in three hours.
The door opens but Lily sighs because it’s not Hayden who’s at the door and it makes Levi jolt, dropping the coins he just collected from a drawer, because he’s relieved that it’s not her he sees. Lily greets the customer “Good Afternoon” before looking at her friend who has gone to pick up the coins behind the counter. Levi leaves a few coins on the ground, promising to pick them up later, so he could attend to the customer.
It’s definitely not her and he silently thanks God. “Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?” Levi says as he drops the coins in the cash register and closes it just in time to take down the order.
“Hey. Uhm yeah, I’ll take each one of your best sellers. A female will pick it up, her name’s Jana Damon. Put it in my tab: Zayden Stiles.”
The surname makes Levi jerk because it is so close to her last name. He doesn’t want to feel like the customer’s name is just a code or a pseudonym, an obvious one. He doesn’t want to believe that this is the father because surely the old man would hug Levi the moment he recognizes him. And it’s always been like that, he’s seen the old man a few times on the streets and the man would surprise him, tap his shoulder, or walk to his side to give him a warm hug. He won’t believe it. “Yes, sir.” Lily gives a nod and a “good-bye” at the man before storming to Levi.
“His name. You think he’s related to Hayden? Because the name, pseudonym, or whatever is so fucking obvious. I really think-“
“Don’t even think about it. Of course it’s not.”
“But what if that handsome devil is staying in this fucking hotel?”
“Then the press would find out before the ‘put in my tab’ incident happened.”
“You’re right.”
“And we would have met them as they entered the hotel or, better yet, Paul would have informed us to be in our best behavior or else he’d fire us.”
“Too fucking true. And I haven’t heard of ‘Jana Damon’ before either.” But that’s not enough to calm Levi’s nerves down because he’s got that gut-aching feeling that she is here in the hotel. And Levi’s nerves are never wrong. He’s gone on complete secret panic mode and turns to Stan to relax himself a little. “Stan, Mr. Stiles wants our best sellers.” Stan whistles an approval and settles the other customer’s order on the kitchen counter. Levi gets the plate and tells Lily to serve the order but it does no good to calm his tits down and that doesn’t stop Lily from pressing into the mystery.
“I really think that he’s the guy.”
“Well, he’s not the guy.”
“My Hayden-magnet is screaming ‘I’m here’, Levi.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in your post?”
“The clock’s ticking to the night life and we both know these are the dull hours.”
“It’s a hotel.”
“The place where Hayden Statham is.”
“The place of our work, that may soon not be anymore because you aren’t doing your job.”
“My Hayden-magnet is still screaming. And it’s not ‘I’m here’ , it’s ‘fuck me, Lily, because I’m here’.”
“What’s the difference?”
“It means I can sense his hair curling at a rapid pace.”
Levi rolls his eyes at his friend but he is heading to the direction of Table 15 with the medium-rare steak. Levi bends down to pick up the rest of the coins still wondering who the last customer was.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
Silence greets them for a few seconds until Levi can let the answer sink in. He asks one more time.
“Nothing?”
“Have you gone deaf, Parker?”
“Sorry.”
“So yeah, the paps don’t know his location, where he’s staying, and what he’s doing here. He’s like a freaking Ninja Fruit or something on hiatus.”
“Fruit Ninja, Lily.”
“Whatever. I’m still upset.” Lily dragged Levi home after their shift leaving Paul confused to why they were such in a rush. That woman, Jana Damon, arrived in the restaurant just before closing time and it pissed Lily off thus having more reason to rush home and leave Stan do all the cleaning.
Lily slouches on the couch, feet up on Levi’s lap, and her phone on the rug. They greet silence but Levi’s head is noisy about the girl—Zara Miles— and where and what she’s doing. And the look Jana just gave Levi a while ago at the restaurant is a huge give away of the suspicious “name”, the way Jana stopped her track when she faced Levi, and the way Jana couldn’t take her eyes off him—throw in the fact that Jana narrowed her eyes at him. Levi shakes the memory away and looks at Lily like his soul’s being sucked out by a dementor.
“Just cling on to the hope that he’s in the hotel.”
“Tell me that in a more convincing way, I might ditch you on Monday.”
“We’ll be finding out tomorrow anyway.”
“Where do we start?” Lily sighs, clearly depicting her loss of hope in ever finding the young star.
“Where does your Hayden-magnet point you to?” Levi says trying to lighten her mood but Lily sighs and just sinks in to the heartbreak. “I don’t know. He’s gone off to some club with a mustache as a disguise. Probably making out with Zara because they’re madly in love and it’s been all over the press.” Of course, Levi thought. And it makes his heart sink even more. The image of her, Zara, dancing with another man, kissing him, making him breakfast in bed, and the image of them together makes him sick and miserable.
But Levi knows that this is just for show because Zara promised him that she would wait. That Zara hasn’t given up on them. But why hasn’t she contacted Levi? Why hasn’t Levi contacted her either? Is it over? Levi doesn’t know. The break-up hasn’t been formal because they’ve grown apart and Management pulled Zara away. No contact since. They’ve fought three days before Zara was pulled away and Levi knows that it’s ended but Zara’s words, her words made him believe that they’re not over. “I’m waiting for you.” And that was it.
“You’re so far away, Levi.” Lily looks at her best friend and pokes her friend’s arm with her feet, bringing Levi out of his reverie.
“Just thinking.”
And Lily knows that he is, that Levi is thinking about someone but she’s not sure who. But she is sure that this person—whoever Levi’s thinking about- made him miserable, made him sad and lonely. Lily promised herself that she would skin the person alive (she’s just probably going to swear at the person) if ever she found out who it is. If only Levi would tell her, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t talk about it and Lily doesn’t bring it up because that’s what “private space” is. And they’re both satisfied with it. But Lily is stubborn and she knows it and she can’t have a peace of mind when Levi is like this.
“You’re thinking about that person aren’t you?”
Levi whips his head to Lily. She’s found out about Zara, holy shit. Levi thought. And it gets him into panic because Lily will be mad at him forever. He’s been a horrible friend, not telling Lily that he knows Hayden Statham’s best friend. Zara Miles. The one person that makes and breaks his heart, the person he’s been thinking about almost everyday, the same person that gets his nerves going whenever something reminds Levi of her, and the same person who may be involved with that ZAYDEN STILES person.
“You don’t have to tell me who it is, Levi.” And that makes Levi’s heart relax because he’s not in trouble. But guilt still boils in him because he’s hiding it from his best friend.
“Yeah.” Because that’s all Levi could say.
“Can you give me a clue then? Gender?”
“Female.” Giving the gender wouldn’t hurt because there are a lot of possibilities but it still doesn’t dissolve the guilt.
“Oh.”
“First love kind of sappy shit.”
“Make and Break, huh?”
“Yeah. So broken.”
“Took off without telling you?”
Levi nods because it amazes him how Lily knows this kind of crap. And it stops Lily from asking, that’s the end of the conversation and they’re back to finding another topic to talk about. Hopefully something that does not involve “ZAYDEN STILES” because the “name” is too damn suspicious that it keeps them up the entire night.
Every-fucking-day Levi Parker is all that she could think about. Why he left her. Why Management drove her off without properly telling Levi that it was not over. And that it still isn’t over. And she hates it. She hates that the pain is curling around her like a knife she can’t remove. She’s on her second bottle of vodka in a fucking fancy hotel in fucking London. How the hell did they end up here?
Oh right, for a shooting about Hayden’s next music video. And she’s a “featuring”.
“Fuck.” She’s had enough and she’s done with drinking and smoking. Well not really with the smoking because it is the one thing that keeps her together, the one thing that drives her mind off Levi. How Levi smells. How Levi feels under her touch. And how she misses his soft kisses and the way Levi’s hands explore around her. Mental. That’s what she declared herself for the night.
Hayden is out in a private pool somewhere in this damn hotel. How dare he leave Zara to fend for herself? In this time of need? But then again, Zara is always “in a time of need” because it’s been three years since the break up and Zara hasn’t gotten over it. Not yet. And the fucking press, the fucking Management won’t stop the issue about she and Hayden fucking in every club in the country. “Zara and Hayden official!”, which is a stupid lie. “ZAYDEN out in the club!”, which is true but the press didn’t have to follow them and print it out. “Hayden and Zara spotted leaving a hotel!”, which gives a whole new different view of the situation. Zara and Hayden. Zara and Hayden. Zara and Hayden. And Zara is tired of it all! Tired of all the lies and all the crap.
There is still that contract that holds and it reads in one of the sections, which Zara wrote herself, that this ZAYDEN shit would stop if Levi would come in the picture and present himself personally to them. Meaning, if Levi and Zara are still official, which Zara always believed but Management still doesn’t see that because they don’t know who the hell Levi is, then ZAYDEN will be off.
Done.
Gone.
But Management doesn’t know Levi, only Hayden and Jana do. Zara showed them pictures of her better days— better, alcohol-free days. And they approve of the man quickly and hope that Levi would be spotted immediately, like some object in a “Find Me” children’s book.
Zara’s calmed down and she’s not really drunk, emphasis on the drunk.
The door opens and she finds Jana Damon with paper bags of food from “Circles” with the words “ZAYDEN Stiles” across the bag. She knows it’s not funny but she says the stupid joke anyway, “ZAYDEN Stiles. Damn it. We’ve got a name for our child already! Ha! Probably should set a wedding now, huh?” She laughs like a lunatic but Jana answers by rolling her eyes.
“Have you been drinking again?”
Zara raises the two bottles and bangs them on the table. “Maybe? Fuck me, Jana.”
“NO. Eww. Just stop drinking, Z. Here. Paul told you to eat and relax because we’d be staying in this city longer than expected.” Jana hands her paper bags containing the best-sellers from the restaurant at the lobby.
“WHAT? Why?” Zara says as she gets the paper bags from Jana and setting it aside.
“I don’t know, may be they’ve spotted Levi or something.”
“Get the fuck out.”
“But there was this guy in the restaurant that looked like him.”
And that makes Zara sober in an instant. Levi? She turns to Jana like she’s grown nine tails. “Levi?” The name comes out in a whisper, like a secret Zara’s been keeping and is afraid that something bad will happen if spoken out loud. And it keeps Zara’s mind going because of the possibility that Levi is in the same goddamn hotel.
“Yeah. As in, spitting image. But I’m not too sure because this other waiter was so cranky. I never got the chance to ask his name.”
“You think he’ll be there tomorrow?”
“A Sunday? I doubt it, sweetie.”
“You’re right.” And it’s okay because Zara is one step closer into finding Levi and telling him straight that they are not over.
