Long Gone Goetia
Stolas was shot by Striker and Chaz in the sloth ring hospital bed. BANG BANG! The bullets rang in his barely visible ears, as blood ran down his forehead and into his blurry vision.
Before the barn owl demon knew it, he saw a white light and left the hell that was his former life.
Several questions ran through his feathered head:What would Blitzø think?What would his beloved daughter think?Would his wife even miss him?Would ANY of them miss him?
Stolas felt his body become light and float in midair as a heavenly glow appeared around him. Golden gates opened themselves up, as a pink halo appeared above his head.
’What?! No this shouldn’t be happening! I don’t deserve this! Not after how I harassed Bli-′
Before the owl could confess even further, there was a bright yellow flash. A beautiful ring, sounding like a church bell, blessed his ears.
Two angels appeared before him in a chapel: Sera and Emily. One tall and one small. Beautiful brown skin and curly white hair on each of them. Sera had darker skin than her little sister.
“Hello, winner, welcome to Heaven. I’m Sera, the head seraphim, and this is my accomplice, Emily. You’re the second demon who’s been redeemed here.” Sera said in a deep voice.“Hello!” Emily cutely waved.
“Winner...? I’m sorry, madame, but this is a huge mistake- I don’t deserve a second chance-”“But you do! As Charlie showed me, everyone deserves a chance to make up for their wrong doings!” The platinum blonde angel said as she held his hands.
Sera’s white eyebrows then arched. Her blue eyes widened as she turned Stolas’ body around.“Wait, dear sister, something’s off...”“What, Sera? What looks off about him? He looks perfectly normal to me, like any Goetia.” Emily frowned. “...He has no wings!” “Like... Sir Pentious? Do all hellborn Winners have no wings?”
Stolas spun around like a confused puppy trying to bite it’s own tail. Indeed, he had no angel wings.“What does it mean?!” Emily’s wings flapped as she glanced up at her sister.“Stolas, do you remember what you did in hell?” Sera asked as she knelt in front of him.“I sexually harassed Blitzø... while cheating on my wife. I gave him the grimoire which was illegal. I treated Blitzø and his imps like crap despite him providing me shelter, completely neglected my daughter, lied to her about being there for her and... on top of that I had sex with an incubus I barely knew. But uhh... at least I saved a few people?” Stolas nervously smiled.
Both Emily and Sera looked terrified by what he said. Especially Emily.
“Even when I have the bible to reference, I still question the many credentials to go to heaven.” Sera mumbled.
“See? I don’t deserve to be in Heaven... I did more bad than good.” Stolas frowned. The pink glow in his four eyes stopped. “Aww, well I’m sure you do! God forgives! We should find him a home, sis!” Emily cheerfully said. “Then again, some Goetian creatures were previously angels before damnation. I’m sure we’ll find something cozy for this little owl.”
The dark skinned angel summoned a golden bubble. It turned white. She scrolled through it with a finger, as it displayed different areas in Heaven. This caused Stolas to gasp in amazement. He glanced at it alongside the two sisters.“Okay, Gothelle Falls is where you stay. All 72 Goetia demon ancestors are said to be fallen angels from this exact area. We’ll just have to find a cozy spot where you’re not looked down upon since... high rank angels could be very...snobby.” Sera shook her wing a bit as if it was a hand.
“Don’t worry, after dealing with my former wife, Stella, I know what snobby feels like.” Stolas sassily said. “Really now?” Sera giggled a bit. “Ooo! Ooo! Tell us all about her on the trip!” Emily said like an excited child.
The two angels then turned into their biblically accurate forms. Their skin became glowing white white, their heads became oval-shaped with an extra third eye on their forehead. Emily’s hair was replaced with six feathered wings, eight for Sera. Both halos sported a small eye on the center. Their lips both looked like beaks and their talon feet carried Stolas before he could even object.
“WOAH WOAH WOAH! This view is- Actually quite beautiful!” Stolas quaked a bit.
“So... Uh... Anyways, my wife used to be such a pleasant bird to be around. Then we had our daughter Octavia. The baby’s crying kept her up at night, so I assume that gave her the grumpy attitude. And don’t get me started on how much she nagged me to get our daughter out of bed...” He went on and on as the two angels carried him off into the sunset.
Meanwhile, Adam woke up in a dumpster.
“Ughhh... What happened? I feel... I feel awful... It’s like there’s a pain in my ches-What?! Am I?! WHAT THE HELL AM I?!” Adam screamed, noticing black claws on his peach skin.“WHY IS MY GOWN BLACK?! Sure, it’s a rad color, but... THE FUCK?!”
He tried to feel for his mask, only to realize it wasn’t even on anymore. He stormed out of the alleyway with messy brown hair as he began to rant. A dragon-like tail thumped behind him.
“No no no! I’m Adam! I’m THE man! I’m the original dick! I shouldn’t be punished for messin’ with a shitty hote-” Suddenly, a pair of incubi twins tripped him over then laughed, running away. He fell face first into mud.“HEY ASSHOLES! YOU OWE ME BIG TIME FOR THAT! I’M TECHNICALLY YOUR GRANDFATHER, YOU KNOW!”“SUCK IT, LOSER!”“YEAH, PIG DICK!”
“Mmm....I WILL SMITE AND VAPORIZE YOU!” He pointed a finger at the two, but nothing happened. He tried again, only for a fart noise to come out of his finger.
“Huh? I... I can’t shoot beams anymore either?! God DAMN this sucks a thousand balls!” Adam groaned. He walked past stinky garbage cans, sex shops and red/black buildings lit with neon signs. He had to duck away from demons trying to behead him, dodge bullets, avoid imps trying to sexually harass him, and avoid succubi having sex with each other.
“Hey, buddy! Wanna buy these DVDs? They’re really nice! Just as clear as the original!” A sinner said as he opened up his jacket. He acted as if he was on crack, his eyes wide open. “Umm... I’m good, fam.”
“Oh. My. Gosh!” A blue cat sinner said as she threw away a Blitzø plush. She immediately ran in front of him with sparkling pink eyes. “Are you THE Adam?! From the bible?!?!” “Heh heh. Yep. That’s me, the original dick. Surprised you recognized me. I wish I still had my sexy angelic form, but, it is what it-”
“Why couldn’t I protect thee from falling into sin like Lucifer?! Hath thou cheated on Eevee, Lilith, Lute or no- even worse- COMMITED A SIN WORSE THAN THE APPLE?! Oh~ I don’t deserve your company...” The cat sinner dramatically said. She leapt into his arms, only to push him away, then posed on a street lamp.
“Dude, what the fuck?” Adam cringed.
“Take me! Pleaaase take Emberlynn as part of your redemption!” The blue cat cried. She had tears stream down her chubby face.
“GET THE HELL OFF OF ME AND CHILLAX, BABE!” He screamed as he pushed her off.
In clear yellow/orange skies there was an enormous extensive fields of clouds. The streets were made of gold and there was segments of golden gates surrounding the land. Heaven looked like an absolute paradise, and no crimes were committed. Or at least, no crimes in sight. Light green plants grew everywhere.
There was modern roman gothic buildings lit in different pastel colors. Stolas peered at the shops, as cherubs and animalistic angels politely greeted each other. Once they looked at Stolas, they judged him silently. They didn’t call him names at all, hoping not to be punished by the seraphim that was carrying the bird.
“It’s... Quite beautiful here.” Stolas whispered.
“We’re almost there, sir.” Sera whispered back.
The three landed in front of a lavender, pastel blue, and white pent house. A few angelic birds walked by, still glaring at Stolas.“My darling seraphim, I don’t feel that welcome here... it’s like they can sense that I was a former Goetia! Are you sure this is a good spot for me to settle?”
“This isn’t your spot... this is.” Sera gestured towards an even smaller pent house that was the exact same colors. It was further away from the former Goetia houses.
“Looks cozy. And it’s away from judging eyes. A bit small, but it’ll have to do!” Stolas’s feathers happily fluffed.
“And don’t worry about paying rent, my sis has got it covered until you get yourself a proper job!” Emily’s tan face beamed.
“She’s right, Stolas. There’s a garden growing the food you need here. As for livestock. What do you prefer?”
“Mice and rats cooked in the finest oils.” Stolas poshly stated.“You have... quite unique tastes, but we’ll see what we can do.” Sera’s eye twitched a bit.
“It’s strange, we’ve got meat in heaven too, but there’s a vegan town here!”“A... vegan town?” Stolas tried not to laugh.“Easy now, little sister. Let him get cozy in his new house, first.”“Oh! Of couse!”
Stolas opened the lavender wood door and was hit with the smell of sweet roses.
The interior looked straight out of a Disney fairytale. There was wooden lined windows and light pink curtains that lined them. An open wooden wardrobe held a bunch of white teacups with plates to match. They all looked like they collected dust, completely unused. The lavender walls were decorated in blue hand-painted flowers.
Stolas walked into the kitchen. The wall was peach this time, painted with the same flowers. There was an empty fridge, a glass table, and four wooden seats surrounding it. The cupboards were filled with different cans, left half open much like the fridge.Stolas was about to go upstairs, when suddenly, a soft brown hand touched his shoulder.
“Wait... before you settle down, take this.” Seras said. She took a phone out of her long sleeve and gave it to him.
“Take this special phone. It runs on solar power, so you don’t need to worry about batteries. Use it to call me or Emily in case you need our aid.” Sera held out a silver flip phone. Stolas grabbed it gently and opened it. The inside had a black screen. He pressed the on button and it lit up.
“You can also store infinite numbers and photos on it! It’s like a really great phone! The only meh thing is that it doesn’t have installable apps.” Emily added.
“Ah, I see. Thank you very much, fair angels. I’ll try not to get myself into trouble! Ta ta!” Stolas waved.The two sisters waved back before flying away.
Stolas walked up the golden painted stairs to see a lavender hallway. He peered into 3 doors; one being a peach themed bathroom, the other being a yellow guest bedroom with two beds, and the final one being a blue master bedroom. Despite the beds being rather girly and lacey, they looked neatly kept: as if no one slept on them in ages. He dusted off the bed with his tail, laid down, then typed Blitzø’s number on the phone. The barn owl tried to wait patiently for the demon, only for a mechanical voice to say: “Sorry, this number does not exist in your area.” The grey owl tried to contact Octavia, only to get no signal.
“#%#&! Wait... I’M CENSORED IN HEAVEN?! NOOOOOOOO!!!” Stolas cried out, causing doves outside to fly away.
The scene panned back down to Hell’s Pride ring. Adam ran as fast as he could away from Emberlynn. He pushed past a bunch of sinners, imps and succubi. The brunette suddenly bumped into a demoness with white skin, rosey cheeks, and blonde hair. “Ack!” Adam said as he fell. “Oh! Sorry.” She said. “It’s okay....Charlie?!” He asked as she helped him get up. Charlie quickly glanced at Adam, but initially didn’t recognize him. But as she gazed up and down she notices familiar features. Especially the golden tips of the horns.
“No, he couldn’t be…” She whispered to herself.
“Shit! Listen, I won’t try to murder you guys again, just give me another chance and hide me from the pussycat!“Adam clasped his hands together and shook them, begging for mercy. Charlie cutely tilted her head. “Who?”
Adam got real close and whispered into her pointy white ear. “She’s a crazy sinner fangirl, ya gotta-”“ADAM KUUUUN~♡”Emberlyn said from afar, interrupting him.Once Charlie saw the cat demon, she noticed the crazed look in Emberlynn’s eyes and understood the situation. She quickly grabbed Adam by his robe sleeve and they ran away together.Emberlynn ran toward the empty spot. She held a little heart shaped box, only to glance around disappointed. Her pointy ears wilted.
Adam later followed Charlie into the hotel. They closed the gothic doors decorated with stained glass apples. Charlie hastily locked it. “Uhh pardon me, who the hell is this?” A black and white cat asked.
“He looks awfully familiar...” A half black half white man dressed in all red approached them. His yellowsmile was rather creepy.
“Um... sup bitches? Sorry about the whole um... “Trying to kill you” thing!” Adam sweat bullets.
A one eyed moth demon (with an X over her missing eye) pointed a spear at him, immediately recognizing his unmasked face.“Listen, Adam, if you’re here to cause any trouble, you’ve got another thing coming!” Vaggie yelled.
“Woah woah, Valencia! Chill! I’m not here for revenge! I’m here to get redeeeemed!” He pushed down the tip of the spear. “See? I called you by your real name! That makes me good, right?!” Adam anxiously said.
Charlie’s black purples dilated in excitement. “Wait, you’re here to get redeemed? You’re not just running away from that cat girl?!” A wide smile grew on Charlie’s porcelain face.
Suddenly, a tiny demon with red hair came out of nowhere. She ran right in front of Adam and the others. “Oooh, the bad boy is back!” She squealed.
She yanked out a large pin that she uses to stab bugs, aiming it at Adam’s chest. The brunette backed away with a fearful look in his yellow eyes.
“Nifty, put that away.” Charlie said in a stern tone of voice.
“Y-yeah, please listen to the nice, blonde, babe.” He nervously said, dodging Nifty’s stabbing attempts.
“And why should we trust that you wanna be redeemed?” Husk asked, holding Nifty back.
Adam glanced around. He tried his hardest to think of a good excuse. “Uhhh.. well I... want to go back to heaven?” The hairy fallen angel shrugged.
“Alright, that’s a start. But you have to WANT to do things for the right reasons.” Charlie said as Nifty goofily struggled in the background.
“Um... like, what things?” He scratched his brown hair. “You’re a former angel and you don’t know how to be selfless?” Vaggie face palmed.
“Well to tell the truth the only time I was selfless was with...Lute.” Adam had a saddened look on his face. He missed Lute, that’s for sure.
Charlie glanced at Vaggie. She knew that Lute was the one who took Vaggie’s eye.
“Okay, that’s a good start. What was that like?” Charlie said a bit quietly. Vaggie awkwardly shifted near her.
Husker noticed this discomfort and asked: “You okay, Valence?”
“I uh... well Adam, Lute and I... we didn’t have the best past.” Vaggie’s pink antennae wilted. Adam sat in a chair, trying not to overwhelm his former enemy.
“...We used to kill demons, discuss the body count, and I helped her out when she wanted new clothes and gave her gifts. We used to be in a rock band!” He stopped smiling once he saw Valencia was uncomfortable.
“Should I stop, babe?”
“Huh? Oh um... no... continue talking about the woman who stabbed my eye out!” Vaggie glared.
“I’ll stop.” Adam frowned.
Charlie hesitated to speak once more. She then remembered what Lute did to Razzle and what Adam did to Pentious. Both just murdered them without a sweat.
The white demoness breathed in, then breathed out.“Okay, so killing people together isn’t exactly selfless.”
“Helping her get new clothes and teaching her guitar is selfless!” Adam added.
“That is true...Okay, we can work with this. We can build off of it. It’s best to make up for your wrong doings and be selfless towards us!” Charlie happily said. Her rosey cheeks lit up.
“Well, for one, I want to get along better with Valencia. Sorry for err.. Nicknaming you Vaggie and letting my girl torture you. We cool, right?” Adam leaned close towards the demon moth.Vaggie backed away from him.
“Not yet exactly...” She mumbled.
“You can’t expect forgiveness right away.”
“Oh, well that sucks.” Adam crossed his arms. His dark eyebrows furrowed
“It takes time to make up for your wrong doings... and sometimes a whole lotta damn drinks to forget. Hell, I still don’t forgive Angel for harassin’ me, but I’m still tryin’ to make up with him.” Husker said, popping a beer open.
“Speaking of Angel Dust, where is he?” Vaggie asked.
