Purchased Marchioness

I stood in front of everyone. They had to see past me to see the spectacle of what was happening. What I was feeling didn’t match the sunny warm spring day. It should have been drearier and rainier, but I was glad that it was exactly the type of season he liked the best. No one knew that this was his favorite season besides his aide Galan, his personal guard Lorcan and me, his wife. I didn’t think that I would be a widow after just six years of being married let alone being one at the tender age of eighteen. I should have had my husband for another decade at least, but there is no telling when you will be assassinated, and it actually killing you and not maiming you as usual. I was now the head of the Marquess Arundel Estate, and I would be in charge of everything my late husband left me.

I just didn’t want it.

Well not yet. I still had a lot to learn, and it felt like I was a sacrifice to a volcano to make it rain.

It still felt surreal that he was gone. It was only two days ago when he let out his last breath. I was with him and took his last words to heart. Everything that he wanted me to do I would. There was no heir to his fortune, and that meant that I would have to marry again, however that came about was on me, and then whatever children I had would have to marry a distant relative that was too young for me to marry and would be the next to rule over everything. The last two days Galan and I scoured through the family tree to see who the next husband would be I would have. I found two that could be him, until I met them and noticed that they were only a few years from their birth. It would be too long for them to be able to produce an heir for me so I would have to find a husband another way.

Everyone to my back started with the four Dukes of the country with their wives. Duke Percy, Duke Montague, Duke Beaumont, and Duke Boleyn were in order behind me with their wives and then children behind them. The only other one that was a part of the seven main families was Marquess Klairmonte who was the other marquess estate out of the ducal houses.

Then there was the royal family. They took up the rear behind all the vassals and anyone else who knew my late husband and were grieving for their loss. Well, more like the loss of his money. He had made multiple guild houses across the eight kingdoms. There were also many assassin guilds that popped up as well that we have been keeping our eyes on.

I guess we weren’t keeping that close an eye on them. Since the result of not watching them lay at the bottom of the hole in front of me dead.

A warm spring breeze came across the golden white poppy field blowing in the sweet scent to caress us while we lay the deceased in his eternal resting place. There are many things I wish that I was able to tell him, but so many things that I wouldn’t be able to. As those thoughts swirled around in my head, I was unaware that I had tears falling down my cheeks. I couldn’t let anyone see them so that they could use it against me. Before I could reach up and wipe them away the warm breeze swirled around me and dried them on my cheeks.

Watching as the grave diggers covered up the white onyx coffin, I had to say my goodbye before it was fully covered up. The golden white poppy I held in my hand I threw it into the grave while the dirt was being continually thrown in. It was the tradition of this nation I have married into to do it. Throwing a flower into the grave before the coffin is fully covered stated that it was giving one last beautiful thing before the owner was hidden in darkness. It was to be a source of light for the dearly departed. There was supposed to be more for all the immediate family too, but it was just me that was his family. He had killed his father and brother so there was nothing from them, and the few bastards his brother had he irradicated too so that they couldn’t try to use the law to get their rights.

It was just me. Only me. I could barely handle the pressure when I knew what was riding on everything I did, breathed, said, and even what I didn’t. Any wrong move and I would soon be on the wrong side of the sword. I only had to worry about who held that sword. If it was someone that I knew I could manipulate, it would make it easier to turn that sword around and impale them with it instead. I have done it before so it wouldn’t be that hard again. Except with everything the way it was now it would be harder to know who was holding that sword. I would have to bide my time until it was time to strike and ultimately be the winner in any battle.

I could do that.

As the last of the dirt covered the grave a stone that was made of polished amber was sat atop it. It was the only thing that would mark where a grave was. Each family had their own that is required to be placed on the deceased, but it was not registering why I couldn’t place a monument over his grave like we did over in my mother country of Mordell.

As I turned from the grave, I faced everyone and gave a small nod before I walked toward the mansion for the break in my mourning to eat for the first time in two days. I wouldn’t be able to eat for another three days so it was much needed, let alone the fact that I wasn’t even that hungry. I would have to force myself to eat and hopefully not throw it up. I’ve never felt like this before. It was like I had a hole ripped out of my chest and there was an ache that was persistently aggravating me as I took each breath, moved, and anytime I blinked. I had lost my best friend and mentor and I didn’t know what to do next.

The mourners didn’t need any other time to spend mourning and would be back to normal after they leave the house like they weren’t just at a funeral for one of the pillars of the country. It didn’t change anything about this.

I was soon alone, not remembering anything about the after-death meal, let alone what it tasted like. It was the first time I even ate in two days, and I don’t even recall what I ate let alone the process of eating. Quite frankly I could have just had the food on a plate or in my hand until it was taken by someone else to dispose of. I knew that if anyone asked about what I remembered from this day, it would be that the weather didn’t match my feelings but was my husband’s favorite season. And that he would have loved that his last day above ground was so beautiful.

As I was sitting in my favorite spot in the small indoor garden off of the back sitting room, I looked out the window I had spent so much time at. It got the best sun during the day, and especially during the winter when it frosted everywhere and almost froze our pipes that we needed a warm place to sit while we had workers in to fix the problem. We found that this was the best place to be during that time. We then made a habit of having morning teatime while we worked out there during the winters. It was nice. If only I knew that the tea times would end this soon, I would have tried to have more.

There were many things that I wanted to go back and do more, but I just had to leave everything up to my memoires that were already starting to fade a little. I didn’t want them to go away. I wanted them to stay and be moralized. That wouldn’t happen.

Looking around I noticed that everyone else had left. I was finally able to breath. Taking in a deep breath I let it out and was about to lean back in my chair but before that I heard a throat clearing. Looking toward who it could be I knew that it could only be one person.

“You look like you want to be alone.”

“I prefer to be alone. Especially when it pertains to you being around. Can’t you just die already.”

“I feel hurt. I know that you want me too.” The smirk was too much. His golden hair was more of a grey gold and his light brown eyes always seemed to shine with mischief. He was always up to something, and I knew that he never truly fully trusted anyone outside his family except me and my late husband.

“What can I do for you Your Majesty? There has to be some reason as to why you are here after everyone else left.” He gave me a soft smile and then took the seat directly across from me. My jaw tightened as he took Boaz’s seat. I knew that I needed to be more open, but I couldn’t right now.

“You never have to refer to me as ‘your majesty’ unless you want to you know that dear.”

“I know Caden. I know. You stayed for a reason what is it?” I took my teacup and placed it at my lips.

“You need to find another husband. The sooner the better. You can’t be alone for long.” Placing the teacup back onto the saucer and not taking the sip I wanted, I just stared at him.

“It’s not as easy as you think. We’ve been looking for someone that is related to the family and there is no one that is of marriable age. I need to find someone, but I don’t know how to go about it. I didn’t have to worry about it the first time around.” He reached across and patted my hand.

“I know. You will be going back to Mordell and going to the season to find a husband. You will be leaving in a week. I know that it starts in about a month, you will be there for the whole season and then come to the season here too. You don’t get the allowed time to mourn that you would normally get. I’ll give you a week every year until you die to mourn for Boaz. I know that this will be hard on you going forward. You will be stronger and more resilient after this. You know why I am saying this right?” He was trying to come off as soft and caring, but I knew better. He was worried. Not just because of the new widow, but what is happening in the shadows already. Enemies lurked there waiting for me.

“Yes, I do. I just don’t think I have it in me to do it this year. How about we do this next year. I know that I will be more able to do it then. There is no way that I will be able to do it now.”

He leaned across the table and grabbed my hand and squeezed until I could feel the pain radiating up my arm. “That will show that you are weak from this. Youmustgo. Whoever was able to finally get to Boaz will come for you. That will be the easiest.” He leaned back and took a cookie that was sitting on the small tray between us and smelled it before he took a cursory bite. Once he swallowed, he resumed the spiel. “You don’t get it. You had no children with Boaz, so you need to have a husband within a year. The process will only get harder the longer you take. Everything is set up all you have to do is send a letter to your parents telling them that your husband died and that you are coming there to find a husband. It’s not that hard Astrid. I’ll see you when you finally come back in a few months.” All I could do was nod. He was right. No matter how I felt I had to do this. Boaz would be ashamed that I was being so weak right now.

He got up and left the cookie he took a bite out of on the tray and brushed off his nonexistent crumbs as he straightened his clothes. He began to move to the doorway, and I looked away from him and out the windows that held so much warmth, that I just couldn’t feel right now. “I would stay away from the cookies; they taste a little off.”

“Thank you, Cad. I will do as you suggest. Just know that this is the only suggestion I will allow right now. Don’t get into my way again.” I didn’t have to look back at him to know that he heard me. The tears finally fell again and as I heard the door close behind him, I doubled over in pain that hit me like a winter storm. Honestly, I thought I couldn’t cry any more than I already did, but here I was crying. So, I cried until I couldn’t anymore.

Hopefully this wouldn’t happen again.