Prologue - Sisters Before Misters
I knew that the wedding was not going to go as planned.
Twenty minutes behind schedule and the groom is nowhere to be found. My sister too.
She helped me in this dress and then went out for some air.
The church was filled with anticipated guests, my family outside the guest house in the churchyard singing wedding songs calling for me to come out.
I don’t feel like a bride. Maybe it is because it is a dress I did not want to wear. Or that my groom is already married.
Through the concrete wall, and shut windows, I can still hear them. The groom is still missing. But he'll show up, I am certain.
I waited seven years, I can wait a few more minutes.
I walk out of the guest house, and my family shrugs me back in.
"Your groom has not arrived yet," my aunt from my mother's side tells me
"Where is he?" I ask
"We do not know," she tells me
"I know," I say.
"If he is not coming to me, I'll go to him," I think to myself, excusing me from the festivities and making my way to our spot. If he is not anywhere else, he is surely there
Little did I know that he did not want to be found
"It's you, it's only you. No one else matters. If you are not by my side, nothing else matters," I hear Kgotso say to a tree by the riverbank. I assume his practising his vows.
His words sound very genuine and my heart flutters.
Getting to this day was far from easy.
"Kgotso, people are waiting. Say the rest at the church. Oh, You're here too. Perfect. We're waiting on you too," I let him know but then I notice my sister standing behind the tree.
"Cress," my sister says when she sees me, wiping her tears off her cheeks with her hands.
"How are his vows? Better than last time?" I ask
"They're-" my sister starts to say but is cut off.
"There's no longer going to be a wedding," Kgotso says, his voice cracking
"I don't understand. Is Eliot at it again," I say to them
“I can’t marry you. My heart belongs to someone else.”
I stood with trembling hands, my chest heaving as the words repeated in my mind.
I laughed at first, a sharp, bitter sound that startled even herself. I thought it was a joke, a cruel jest that would be quickly followed by reassurances. Is he that insecure about his vows?
But when I looked into his eyes and at my sisters, I saw nothing but guilt.
"You were not practicing were you, you were confessing?" I shouted at him, my words, a tangled mess of disbelief and anger.
My vision blurred with tears. My tears trying to blind me from the sight of my groom holding my sister's hand.
“How long!” I demanded an explanation.
In frustration, I take off my veil out of my hair and throw it into the river with all my might.
They both stutter trying to formulate an answer.
"Sister, you know. I have been trying to grow out of it," she explains
"You are allowed to have feelings but what you were not supposed to do was act on them," I say
"I've tried my best burying it but it could not be hidden nor destroyed. ," she explains to me
“How dare you!” I scream, my voice raw. “How dare you do this to me!”
As I tower over her, she scurries behind Kgotso's shadow.
"I gave you everything. I gave up everything," I remind them.
My breath came in ragged gasps.
"So has she," Kgotso defends
"But you have not. You always get what you want and then toss what you don't," I say.
"Let's go get married. We'll deal with this after. Please," I suggest.
"How can I marry you, if I don't love you," he tells me.
"Hypocrite. You married Amelia not loving her at all!"
"I married Amelia 'cause I loved you but now that's gone. I'm not marrying you, 'cause I love her," Kgosi confesses.
"And you," I ask her. She's been really quiet.
"I am so sorry," she apologises.
I laugh again. My life has been made a joke. I do not accept this. You can't expect me to let go of 7 years, my dignity, the emotional roller coaster, for a 2 sentence break up on my wedding day," I say.
"Why tell me this, here and now. I was ready to back out so many times but each time you pulled me back in only to backstab me, humiliate me, and you show-off by holding hands," I cry.
“Let go of each other” I snapped, lurching for them trying to separate their hand-holding.
But I lost my footing, as my feet got lost in the dress. Time seemed to slow as my arms flailed for balance and I was leaping into the waters. I gasped, my body nearly embracing the cold river.
The last thing that flashed in my eyes was the moment he told me he did not love me, then there was darkness as the water closed in on me.
