Prolog
Today I made a promise not on the account of sheer luck but on the very basis of my nature. Survival, which will evolve into a gentle way of living. One where I don't have to fight for my life or worry about being hurt by the people around me. All I need is an opportunity. Nothing will keep me from this, not even my future grave. It's no secret to me that life isn't kind. But I don't intend to be kind to life either. I will stop at nothing to exploit every possible option. A way to make something of my life, but more importantly to make something of my pain. After all, pain is an overwhelming source of motivation. So to whomever decided to pick up this book I would love to share some secrets. You don't know me, I don't know you. Doesn't that sound perfect? Well secret number one is that I lie…a lot…like a lot. Mostly about what I feel in order to protect people I care about regardless of if they would do the same for me. Number two really shouldn't be a secret. People with Ptsd are not dangerous. We are too busy being stuck in our past to give a damn about the future. Number three… I have a ptsd. Which is why it's important to know that if you're not a threat to my attempt at peace, you're not a threat and neither am I to you. Which is why I am shocked everytime when somebody says I've hurt them. It's not my fault I set a boundary and it wasn't respected and I am learning to wise up on whom I give second chances to. So imagine my surprise when I get a phone call. Now usually I don't answer unknown numbers however when you get an unknown number for Washington it could mean one of 3 things. Three very interesting things. You done fucked up and the government is after you. You done fucked up and you got some sparkly dead guys after you. Or the more likely option…it's a spam call. But I was intrigued so I answered thankfully it wasn't the sparkling dead guys but it was exactly a spam call either. Which, believe me, is not what I thought at first. I thought it was a spam call. I thought it had to be. But… it wasn't. So the mystery caller said I was of value to some powerful people. I thought this guy is on some good shit if he thinks that. Then, I thought about it…he knew my name. But not just my legal name he knew that I preferred to be called Katherine. So I figured the next best thing theory was that I had a stalker for whatever reason. However, he put that theory to rest when he sent me photos. Photos that could only be taken at places from inside the buildings of the places I was in. Personal places like family homes. Places like my great grandfather's farm. Now our family gatherings were not small but clearly I'm not dead. So there was a shred of truth to what he was saying. These pictures were from nearly a decade before the phone call had even taken place. I was newly eighteen at the time. So I did the logical thing… I kept in contact. He was impressed and said I either had a death wish or was incredibly smart…I chose the latter.
