After You

Hey,

It’s been four days since you last told me you would talk to me later. I know it was tough for you, but I had no other option except to wait for your text. Although I had a feeling that this time you wouldn’t be able to keep your word as always, still... you know I can’t let your thoughts go that easily.

Anyway, I sent you a snap of the place where we last sat down in Huda Market, the exact spot where I told you I wouldn’t meet you again. I never thought you’d be the one choosing not to see me ever. I went there with my office colleagues as usual. We had your favorite nutri with masala kulcha, and yes, I sent you a snap of that too.

But when we were roaming around the market, I saw the shop where you noticed a hair clip, a clutcher, to tie your hair. And when we got too late to buy it, you asked me to get it for you next time. I bought you two. Sorry, I couldn’t find the same color, but I hope you would have liked these two as well, if you ever saw them.

I know you asked me not to meet again, that’s why I texted you that I would parcel them to your PG whenever you’re there. Never thought those would be the last texts of mine you’d ever see.

I waited for your reply for almost two days before I found out that you had blocked me on social media. You know what the first thing I did after seeing that was? I scrolled up through our chat to find that text where you said, “Listen, whatever happens, never stop texting me and sharing dark memes with me, otherwise I’ll torture you more than you can imagine.” It made me laugh, but the impact wasn’t the same on my heart.

When I told you I was getting attached to you, even I didn’t know the intensity of it. I thought I couldn’t love anymore, a long time ago, but losing you made me realize that we can’t choose not to love someone. I don’t remember the last day I stayed quiet for eight hours, until this Sunday. That was until I got a text from Tannia ma’am—you know, that cute senior, the extremely sweet one. She asked to meet me. I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t because I didn’t want to be alone anymore.

I took her to Café Delhi Heights in Ambience Mall. We had pink sauce pasta, pizza, and two Sex on the Beach (the drink, I mean). Then she wanted to go shopping, so we spent an hour in H&M, where she finally picked out two tops and a shirt—with my recommendation. We came back to U block to have some ice cream, and she saw my novel collection, but she didn’t stay long as it was already too late. She left, leaving me behind with thoughts of you again.

I wanted to tell you all this, but you know... #block.

I don’t remember how many scenarios I’ve played out in my head of bumping into you coincidentally, until my alarm started ringing at 7 a.m. Monday alarms hurt the most, but they can’t compete with you.

And again, as per my usual schedule, I cooked and left for the office. Disha came to the office today after a week, and while talking to her, I didn’t realize when I started telling her about you. I mean, she already knew about you, but I told her about you blocking me. I can’t regret anything more than that because by lunchtime, everyone in the office knew about it, including my manager. But that’s okay. At least I know you wouldn’t have blocked me willingly if the situation weren’t as it is.

But honestly, I expected one last text from you, one last goodbye.

After getting back to my room, I saw a text request in my inbox from your “gayish” account, how the fuck you manage that disgusting account? Although you know about the text, I never thought you needed to ask me for that. I thought you knew me that well, but still, I’m happy for you. At least someone deserves to be happy in their life by getting what they actually want.

Bubye for the day with the hope to never see you again.