PROLOGUE
My hands were trembling as I was about to face the truth.
I did not know how most people could describe this feeling of dread mixed with grief in words, because at the moment, everything I was feeling was inexplicable.
I was an emotional mess.
I inhaled deep, mustering back my courage which was long since gone as I followed closely behind Jungkook, trudging our way down to the Jeons' impressive wine cellar.
My breath hitched in my throat as my heart continued pounding sporadically, and it was a little too late when I came to realise I was bathing in my own cold sweat when we entered the oak-scented basement.
"Hey, babe," I heard Jungkook called out softly to the young man with his back on us and standing near the wooden shelf filled with, undoubtedly, expensive bottles of wine. "Someone's here to see you."
He turned around and stared blankly at the two of us before staring out into the open once again. Without a word, he took a lazy sip from his glass of wine and glared back at me.
I was bound by my anxiety, rooted me at my place.
His damning eyes bore into my own as we all stood there unmoving, and I could not look away even if I wanted to.
Time dragged painfully by the minute, and I was the first one to look away. He snickered, taking another huge swig of his beverage, and Jungkook moved instinctively to his husband's side.
"Please, babe. That's enough," he whispered softly, trying to grab the glass from his hand.
"Tch."
He pushed Jungkook away from him, drawing the glass close to his lips and drinking the remainder of his wine. Jungkook and I just watched him helplessly as he began to sway to the slow rhythm of a lazy, forlorn French classic crooning in the background, his eyes close to tears.
"Ji-"
"I abhore you to death, Kim Taehyung," he cut me off even before I could utter his name, his voice dangerously low and dripping with venom. "You don't know how I wished- how I wanted you dead."
"Babe, he just wants to k-"
"I don't fucking care what he fucking wants!"
"Calm dow-"
"Get out! Get the fuck out of my home!" he outcried suddenly, pointing an accusatory finger at me and with nothing but pure hatred in his sorrowful eyes. "God, I fucking hate you!"
"Please," I begged, my lips trembling as the corners of my eyes dampen. "Please, tell m-me."
I just wanted to know the truth.
I needed someone to tell me everything.
Even if it would kill me.
"Babe, I know he doesn't deserve it, but he needs to know," Jungkook insisted after his husband's outburst.
"But I hate him so much, Kookie..." he sniveled.
I watched as Jungkook pulled and enveloped his husband into his arms, soothing him with featherlight kisses on his temple.
"I know you do. Me, too. But we also know that Taehyung hates himself the most."
My tears shed freely.
I was now paying the price of my arrogance and stupidity, of letting the love of my life go, of choosing something I could easily lived without rather than the one person whom I could never, and of being a cowardly prick.
My knees gave out and I found myself crumpling on the wooden floor with my hands covering my face in shame. I was nothing now. Not even a less of a husk of a man. I jolted in surprise when I felt a pair of hands enfolded around me.
We both cried our hearts out.
Why did I ever let you go?
