Intimate Relationship

’How to maintain an intimate relationship with a lover?’

This was a post that Lee Heeseung had posted on his social account, with a picture of a cream-colored golden retriever with a golden hamster on its head.

The post was moderately popular, with more than a hundred comments from netizens, of which Lee Heeseung replied to only two.

One from ’Seattle imported guitar sales’: when you start to consider this issue, this relationship is no longer necessary to continue.

Lee Heeseung replied: Right.

Another one is from ’Manchikon cat leader Yang’: what a cute puppy and hamster, is it a web picture?

Lee Heeseung replied: Thank you, I raised them myself.

Heeseung unconsciously touched the back of his neck, remembering his first meeting with Jake.

Heeseung majored in design in college, and Jake was one year younger than him, majoring in violin. Although they were both art students, their first meeting was actually in the pet club.

Heeseung joined the club in his freshman year because, compared to other colourful clubs, the pet club had fewer members, fewer group activities, and fewer events, and to join the club, you just needed to prove that you had a pet. The members only go out occasionally to help the pet shop to do volunteer work, to solve the problem of stray cats on campus, and most of the time, they share photos of their own animals in the group, which is very friendly to people like Heeseung, who are too lazy to communicate with their own kind.

At that time, he was still raising his first golden hamter, whom Heeseung named Melon, because of his slowness and long reflex arc, like a dumb melon.

Heeseung differentiated into an omega when he was seventeen years old, and his pheromones smelled like marshmellow, which was a bit cloying to smell too much. But the critters always loved him. Every time he approached Melon’s cage, Melon squinted and puckered his nose and sniffed all the way to him, staring at his two black-bean eyes as he waited for him to put out his meal.

Sometimes when Heeseung looked at Mr Melon, he thought that he might be the same kind as him.

By the time Jake joined the club, Heeseung had somehow been promoted to become the president of the pet club, but unfortunately, Mr Melon had died two months ago.

Mr Melon didn’t go to run the wheel for several days before he passed away, and when Heeseung found him, he was lying in the mouth of his own nest, turning into a hard little strip, and his little paws were cold. There was also a small pile of rat food that it had hidden in the corner of the cage.

Heesenug was a little saddened, but he had had Melon for a long time, longer than the average lifespan of a hamster. Mr Melon is a happy old grandpa, Heeseung thought.

Heeseung buried Melon under a cherry tree outside the school, he put a handful of rat food in Melon’s arms, squatted in place and thought about it, and put another marshmallow.

After piling up Melon’s small earth bag, Heeseung squatted in place again to slow down. He had just survived a rut, and his head was still sweltering. He had an inhibition patch on the back of his neck, but his body was still enveloped in a layer of marshmallow aroma.

When he was about to stand up, Heeseung was suddenly hit from behind by something furry, causing his easily stabilised body to fall forward again. Fortunately, when Heeseung’s face was about to touch the ground, a hand pulled him from behind.

’Are you alright?’

Heeseung used the force behind him to support himself, patted the dirt on his hands, and somewhat dully turned his stiff neck towards the source of the voice to see a person who was tugging at him with one hand and the dog with the other looking at him with eyes full of worry. The man’s eyes were bright and his mouth pursed into a line as he looked at him with concern, showing a small nest at the corner of his mouth. There was a clear and bitter smell on him, like the smell of coffee beans, which lingered on the tip of Heeseung’s nose.

That was the first time he met Jake.

’I’m sorry, Layla ran too fast, I didn’t pull her back just now.’

Apologies and worry mingled in Jake’s eyes, and Heeseung looked at him, then at the yellow and white puppy with its tongue out at his feet.

’It’s okay.’

Heeseung stood up and waved his hand, thanks to the refreshingly bitter flavour, his dizziness seemed to have disappeared a little.

’Are you also a student at S University?’

Jake loosened his grip on Heeseung’s arm, the worry in his eyes dissipated, somewhat similar to the puppy squatting on the ground.

Heeseung nodded his head, he did not speak, the place on his arm that Shen Jailun had held was warm.Layla walked over with light and playful steps, turned in a circle beside Heeseung, and licked Heeseung’s fingers as if she was pleasing to him. Jake smiled apologetically at Heeseung and tried to pull Layla’s leash to pull back the dog that had no sense of boundaries, but Layla stubbornly did not move at all.

Heeseung leaned down and stroked Layla’s head, his marshmellow scent was always very appealing to small animals, especially those with a keen sense of smell like puppies.

Layla was touched and raised her tail proudly and circled around Heeseung again, and the two loops of the leash wrapped around Heeseung’s ankles, as if it was a piece of territory demarcated by the puppy.

Jake's face showed some embarrassed and helpless look, Heeseung looked but still no expression, Jake simply chat with him.

’Why are you squatting here, are you not feeling well?’

Heeseung shook his head and rubbed Layla’s head attentively.

’I’m burying my hamster. It died.’

Heeseung had this ability to leave people speechless with a single sentence, Jake scratched his head awkwardly and didn’t know what to pick up on. Layla had already rested both of her front paws on Heeseung’s knee, Heeseung pinched Layla’s paw, and asked rhetorically.

’What about you? What are you doing here with a puppy? I remember that the school doesn’t allow students to keep dogs in their dorms.’

Jake took Layla’s paw from Heeseung’s hand, and after a lot of effort, he finally pulled Layla off Heeseung. When she approached Heeseung, the smell of clear and bitter coffee and sweet cotton candy briefly met for a split second, mixing out a just-right fragrance.

Heeseung froze for a moment, the back of his neck that was pressed under the inhibiting sticker was a little itchy, and the itch climbed up the neck to the tip of the ear, and ran all the way into the chest. Jake, however, opened his mouth at this time.

’I’m going to send her to live with my parents, before I leave, I’ll go to the pet hospital in front of the school to do a physical examination.’

Layla seemed to be a little unhappy about being forcibly ripped away from Heeseung, and bit Jake’s trouser leg as if she was angry. Jake had to say goodbye to Heeseung, who looked at his face and nodded slowly.

Two months later, Heeseung met Jake again at the pet club.

Probably because they really hit it off, Heeseung and Jake exchanged contact information the first time they went to the pet shop to do volunteer work together. At that time, Mr Melon had passed away and Miss Layla had been sent away. Heeseung and Jake assisted the doctors at the pet hospital in treating a golden retriever that had escaped from a dog trader.

It was a cream-coloured golden retriever with injuries all over its body, and when Jake found it, it could barely walk on its hind legs, and its oral problems were so severe that its teeth were loose and it couldn’t bite. It was lying quietly in the grass, and did not react to being picked up by a human, as if it had already experienced this countless times.

Jake rushed to the pet hospital with the cage, and Heeseung was squatting on the ground to shovel the kitten’s faeces, just in time to meet the eyes of the golden retriever in the cage.

Golden retriever’s blinking frequency was slow, like it was about to fall asleep at any time, Heeseung looked up at Jake who was running around sweating and went to call the pet doctor.

Golden retriever’s injuries are more serious than they thought, the puppy has little desire to live, when drawing blood does not make a fuss, after the operation is also just quietly lying in the cage to sleep. Heeseung and Jake went to see it every day, squatting at the edge of its cage to chat, sometimes Heeseung and Jake chatting, sometimes it is to speak to the dog. Slowly, the puppy’s injuries healed a bit, and even learned to wag its tail. Heeseung also learned that Jake is a fellow student in the same department, is alpha, and the pheromone is coffee flavoured.

On the twentieth day of rescuing the puppy, when Heeseung fed the puppy, the puppy gently licked the back of his hand.

On the thirty-fifth day of rescuing the puppy, Heeseung told Jake that when the puppy got better, he would adopt him and send him back to his parents’ home first, and then let him live with him after graduation.

On the forty-second day of rescuing the puppy, the puppy died.

It died silently one night and was only discovered by the employees the next morning. When Heeseung and Jake got the news, the puppy had already turned into a small altar. The doctor said that thanks to Heeseung and Jake, its desire to survive had actually been very strong, it just lacked a little bit of luck.

Yes, Heeseung stared at the small altar, a little sadly thought, it almost can go home with me.

Although a bit cruel, Jake and Heeseung became acquainted through the death of two small animals.

On the hundredth day of their acquaintance, they had dinner together.

On the first year of knowing each other, Jake gave him a bouquet of flowers when he asked him to watch a film.

The four hundred and fiftieth day of knowing each other, they went out on a trip together, and there was only a one-bed room left in the hostel.

Jake slept on the sofa and chatted with Heeseung.

’Why hasn’t you been in love before?’

Heeseung stared at the ceiling and smiled.

’Look at me like this, maybe other people think I’m difficult.’

’But it’s only hard at the beginning, it will be easy later.’

Heeseung forgot who fell asleep first that night, and only remembered that Jake slept on the sofa until his back hurt, and he couldn’t go anywhere the next day.

On the first day of Heeseung’s promotion to senior year, Jake asked him if he wanted to be together.

Two years have passed since they first met.

The smell of coffee caged Heeseung, making him a little dizzy.

Heeseung heard himself say, yes.

Heeseung couldn’t figure out his emotions, just looking at Jake’s eyes, he felt that he could agree to anything.

After a long time, Jake told him that it was love.

When Heeseung thought back now, from the time they first met to the time they confirmed their relationship, there was indeed a long gap in between. There is no one in the world who is slower than him, but Jake is not in a hurry and treats him like a frog in warm water.

By the time the relationship was almost a year old, Heeseung graduated from college.

He rented a house off campus, and Jake moved in with him. Their house was not big, but the good thing was that there wasn’t much furniture or clutter, and the fifty-square-foot house seemed empty.

The graduation ceremony ended late, Jake went to pick up Heeseung home holding a large box in his arms, Jake told him that this is his graduation gift.

Before Heeseung had a chance to take the box, a yellowish head emerged, a golden retriever cub. The hair on its body is still small fluffy, probably held in the box for a bit too long, as soon as the head appeared, it couldn’t wait to use its mouth to arch Heeseung’s chest.

Heeseung by the puppy made a smile, he asked Jake what this puppy should be called, Jake said this is his gift, he should take.

Heeseung hugged the box, a small yellow mass arched in his arms, the puppy’s tongue licked Heeseung’s face from time to time, warm and hot, reminding Heeseung of the obedient but not very lucky golden retriever that he and Jake had rescued together when they first met. When Heeseung fed it, it also licked the back of Heeseung’s hand like this, warm and hot.

’So naughty, let’s call it Peeves.’

Peeves successfully moved into their rented house, having its own little kennel in the corner, becoming the third official member of this little family.

More than four months later, the cottage soon welcomed a fourth member, a golden hamster, a birthday gift from Heeseung to Jake.

The hamster that Heeseung picked was not very active and had been sleeping since it entered the cage, nestled into a small yellow furry ball. Jake said to call it Ball.

But calmness is only the protective colour of the hamster ball, Heeseung and Jake brought home the ball the first day, it ran round the cage day and night, so noisy Peeves out of the nest angrily gnawed on the hamster cage.

The ball and other hamsters are not quite the same, it is very bold, not afraid of the dog and not afraid of people, Heeseung sometimes take it out to rest on top of Peeves’s head, its two small paws will grasp the dog hair. The puppy ran two laps around their small house with the hamster on top of it, and when it returned to Heeseung, the ball was still unsatisfied with nibbling on the top of Peeves’s head.

Jake pointed at their pet and tugged at Heeseung.

’Take Ball down, don’t bite Peeves.’

Heeseung rolled his big eyes, looking no different from the unhappy Balls.

’A hamster can still bite a dog?’

A dog and a mouse a couple of happy days like a fairy tale model, Heeseung’s photo album is full of pictures of Peeves and Ball, mixed with a few pictures of him and Jake and he secretly photographed Jake cooking.

Those good days were like quicksand in the cracks of his fingers, always running faster the closer they were clutched. The puppy and hamster grew up slowly, one day at a time. At the end of the year, Jake received an exchange invitation from a university in Australia, and if the exchange went well, he could continue his studies for two more years.

At that time, Heeseung had already started working, Jake showed him the notification letter, the corner of Heeseung’s mouth pulled up a little arc.

’This is a good thing, you must go.’

Heeseung’s left atrium looked like a grumpy hamster lived in it, drumming violently twice after speaking these words, bluffing for Heeseung’s lies.

Heeseung’s watery eyes stared at Jake, who looked as if he could see his concerns, and the faint smell of coffee spread around them like a pair of wings caging Heeseung.

’It’s either that or not, can’t stay away from you.’

Jake rested his head on Heeseung’s chest, arching over him like Pi Pi did when she first met Heeseung.

Heeseung was feeling guilty about his selfishness one second, but the next second he was generous and reached out to touch the top of Jake’s head.

’Why? It’s not like we can’t see each other anymore.’

Heeseung knew that Jake must have wanted to go, just even dealing with their own emotions are dizzy people in turn sympathetic to others, I do not know if it is considered progress or a disguise.

In the spring of the following year, Jake embarked on a plane to another hemisphere. Peeves can not see him for several days, even chewing the hamster cage mood has faded, always rely on Heeseung leg humming. When Heeseung called Jake, Peeves would come over to join in the fun with his ball, and was laughed at by Heeseung and said.

’Look at it anxious, you bought a puppy or with you pro.’

Heeseung and Jake so half a world away to talk about long-distance love. Jake always fly back in a hurry when there is a holiday, the northern and southern hemispheres have different seasons, he did not tell Heeseung the first time he came back, wearing a cotton coat appeared in the house, Heeseung is holding a popsicle drawing a startled. Jake stayed at home for one night, and then flew away in a hurry the next day, leaving a kiss on Heeseung’s lips with the aroma of coffee before he left. Heeseung wrapped his arms around his neck, a little reluctant to give up, and finally helplessly deflated and let go, hugging a Jake sweater to sleep.

Every time Jake came back and left, Heeseung had to go through a long withdrawal period, the glands on the back of his neck were vaguely hot, and the marshmallow smell overflowed the house regardless. But again, he was happy that Jake could come back, even if he only saw him once, it could reassure him a lot.

Peeves ran into the house with his ball on top and circled around the side of Heeseung’s bed twice, and Heeseung rubbed the dog’s head while accusing, ’Your dad is too bad.’

By the time Jake celebrated his birthday, he had travelled back and forth between Korea and Australia five times.

Heeseung vaguely felt that this was not the way to go, but could not bear to spend two years without Jake at all. Obscure and acute problems between them, Heeseung felt that he was going to be tortured as a hysterical villain in a drama, except that the villain in a drama would bully the protagonist, and Heeseungwas just bullying the little hamster that was thumping in his left atrium.

The first snow fell early that year in Korea, Jake got on a plane and told Heeseung before take off that it was slippery and he didn’t need to come to pick him up.

The plane flew for more than ten hours, and when it was about to land, Jake was woken up by the dry heat in his body. When he woke up his coffee smell had unconsciously overflowed some, causing the Westerner in the neighbouring seat to frown in dissatisfaction. Jake asked the flight attendant for a suppressant, and as the needle pierced his skin, Jake's rolling body temperature was finally brought under control, and he suddenly regretted a little bit telling Heeseung not to come to the airport to pick himself up.

The plane landed, the temperature in Seoul is not too low, the ground is covered with a thin layer of snowflakes, Jake footsteps floating towards the airport, in the pick-up area to see wrapped in a scarf staring at a pair of round eyes looking around Heeseung.

Australia is now summer, Jake on the plane was still wearing shirt, in the plane was suddenly susceptible to torture all over the body heat, this moment off the plane is only haphazardly put on a thin jacket, in Seoul in the crowd looks out of place.

Heeseung half face buried in the scarf, seeing Jake, first curved up his eyes and waved, see his messy clothes, then ran over and frowned.

Jake instead opened his mouth first with a smile, his voice steamed by the high body temperature to a little mute.

‘Didn't I not let you come over?’

‘How can I not come to pick you up on your birthday.’

Heeseung finished and reached out his hand to knock on Jake 's head, the temperature of his forehead was so hot that Heeseung curled his fingers. He wrinkled his eyebrows even tighter and took off the scarf and wrapped it around Jake , revealing the tip of his nose that was a little red from the cold and the lower half of his face that was curved and soft.

‘Sick?’

Jake sniffed Heeseung 's scent in the scarf, and after two sniffs he felt that it was not enough, so he took a step forward and directly embraced Heeseung , resting his head in the nape of his neck. His exhale hit Heeseung 's neck, and the itchiness ran to the back of Heeseung 's neck, stirring up a marshmallow aroma. Jake spoke in a whisper, his voice no different from Peeves who begged for food at Heeseung .

‘The susceptibility period is here.’

Heeseung brought Jake home, Jake didn't suppressed his pheromones along the way, the aggressive, clear and bitter flavour weighing down Heeseung 's legs. Pushing open the door of the house, the ball is still running round the cage, Peeves wagged his tail and ran over, smelled the smell of Jake 's body and scurried back to his kennel with a strange bark.

The marshmallows fell into the coffee and turned into sticky little sweet water. Jake pressed Heeseung on the bed and kissed him, the scarf was still wrapped around him, covering both people's eyes. Heeseung did not know if his rutting period was also provoked, his body was too soft to have any strength, and he let Jake strip him naked. He could only reach out and push Jake 's chest.

‘Close the door, in a moment Peeves runs in.’

‘He's not going to come in, naughty one.’

Jake laughed, but still obediently closed the bedroom door.

That was probably their most intense sexual affair, Jake 's kisses that landed on Heeseung 's neck were so heavy that Heeseung was gripped on the lips as soon as he collected his chin, and the root of his tongue was sucked up so much that he couldn't pocket the saliva. Raising his face, he was again bitten on the knot of his throat, stirring up goosebumps all over him.

Hot kisses all the way down, to the chest and stop, hidden in the left atrium of Heeseung hamster like dead, not much movement, let the two tips of the breast was gripped into a rotten fruit. Heeseung breathing was disrupted, sluggish brain can only think of tomorrow if you wear that close turtleneck jumper out, to remember to put tape on the tip of the breast.

Jake 's sex organ was a little more lurid than usual during his susceptible period, and when he entered Heeseung 's body, Heeseung 's lower lip was white from his own bite.

‘A little...a little bit hurt...’

Jake kissed the tip of his ear, a smell of coffee filled the house, and Heeseung was dazed by the odour, his pussy overflowing with watery fluid, slowing down the pain. He couldn't speak, the marshmallow flavour faintly mixed in with the coffee smell, no longer so cloying, like a sign of weakness.

The sex easily grinded up against his prostate and worked its way back up towards deeper, and Jake wasn't as clingy and attentive as he'd been in past sexual endeavours, lowering his head with each advance to ask Heeseung how he was doing. He seemed to be completely controlled by the instincts of the susceptible period, only released some pheromones to calm Heeseung when he cried out in pain, and then tugged on Heeseung 's hand, all the way to the bottom of the sex organ.

Heeseung 's fingertips initiated trembling, Jake 's sex organ just entered and fervently pressed against the mouth of his genital cavity, bringing Heeseung some physiological trembling. Flat belly was pushed up a little arc, Jake movement is big, Heeseung tears, tears stained temples. Moans are caught in the sobbing voice, intermittent with the rhythm of the top. Jake leaned down to kiss the side of Heeseung 's eyes, Heeseung thought he finally returned to reason, obediently squinted his eyes, with a nasal voice like a petting hum two times.

‘Gently...it's so deep...it makes me want to vomit...’

But that moment of tenderness was only Jake 's illusion of begging for a kiss, Heeseung 's opinion was not accepted, his sex organ still crushed his genital cavity and ground it to death. That small point was bumped and trembled to open his mouth, Heeseung lips, tip of breasts, and hole are red as if they are going to drip blood, he was made to be completely disengaged, the whole person seems to be soaked in water, the sex organ in front of his body is not known to be lost several times, and the arm hanging on Jake 's body also softly falls down. From the chest to the root of the leg, Heeseung 's entire torso was fucked in the intense sexual affair and sore and rising, tears soaked pillowcase, eyes crying like rabbits.

Jake maintained the last trembling thread of sanity during the susceptible period, controlling himself not to become a knot in Heeseung 's body. Heeseung , however, as if he was stimulated by something, his two legs clenched, tensed his body and shivered for a while, before he gasped and touched his aching belly.

‘You got it in...’

Jake withdrew from his body, and the condom broke a hole.

Jake touched his hair somewhat helplessly, lay down again next to Heeseung , and like a child who made a mistake, he pleasingly came over and kissed him.

Heeseung lifted his eyelids feebly, drowsy in the smell of cotton candy coffee, his lips were held by Jake , the tip of his tongue was pushed against the top, letting out a ‘boing’ sound. Li Xisheng closed his eyes and whispered softly to calm his restless alpha after the kiss ended.

‘It's okay, I shouldn't be able to get pregnant.’

After a short but tiring birthday, Jake ate cake the next morning and rushed to the airport again. Heeseung wanted to get up to see him off, but Jake looked at his swollen eyes and tucked him back under the covers to catch up on his sleep. The sleep is not very stable, Heeseung body aches and pains, dreaming of a group of hamsters ran into his stomach to beat the drums, and woke up the brain is still buzzing.

After Jake returned to Australia again, Heeseung 's anxiety about the long-distance relationship intensified, just in time for Jake near the end of the school year, they talked on the phone less time. The coffee-stained jumper couldn't soothe Heeseung 's jumbled emotions either, and the psychiatrist told him it was probably a pheromone disorder caused by endocrine disruption.

‘How can we fix it?’ Heeseung asked.

‘Spend more time with your alpha.’

The question amounted to no solution. Insecurity was like a tidal wave flooding Heeseung , and even Peeves and Balls could see that something was wrong with their master and sat quietly against Heeseung on the ground. Heeseung wanted to dial Jake , looked at his watch, remembered that he had an exam today, and put down his mobile phone wanly. When Jake 's phone dialed over and asked him how he was doing, Heeseung again did not want to say anything, only gently nodded and said that it was good, did not encounter any trouble, and Peeves Qiuqiu is also very good.

Heeseung began to sleep one night after another, sometimes it is difficult to fall asleep, the scene in the dream for a while is a group of hamsters in his stomach banging drums, a moment and then turned into Jake , a rare cold face, like a robot like opening.

‘What exactly is good about being in love with you?’

‘Being with you is boring, Heeseung , I won't go back.’

Waking up from the dream, the time had just passed three hours, Heeseung touched his face and felt a water stain, not knowing whether it was sweat or tears.

Dreams were nonsensical, but sometimes they were a refraction of the real situation. Heeseung really didn't know how to maintain close relationships, apart from Jake , he didn't even have any close friends in this city.

At 3am on the 29th of December, he posted on his social account.

‘How to maintain an intimate relationship with the lover?’

Unknown netizens offered solutions, and in fact, every one of them was considered reasonable, but Heeseung only chose to adopt one of them.

He didn't even dare to make a call to Jake in the end, and only tapped a few lines on his mobile phone to announce the end of the relationship.

But this can not be considered as an escape, Heeseung thought, will anyone like to be in a lifelong relationship with a boring person like me?

This is a relief, for Shen Jae Lun, but also for him.

Heeseung and Jake know the fifth year, their third year together. Jake is on a flight from Brisbane to Seoul, ten hours ago, Heeseung mentioned to him to break up.

Jake bought the flight with the closest time. The time difference between Seoul and Brisbane wasn't that big, but Jake needed to fly for twelve hours.

Heeseung sat by the Han River with the evening breeze and finished a bottle of soju, I don't know if it's because the wind is too cold, blowing him a little swollen belly.

In fact, Heeseung also have to admit that in this relationship, Jake is relatively rational party. Sometimes when he listened to Jake describe the future to him on the phone, his pheromones would be disordered again for no reason, bringing him a burst of inexplicable palpitations.

He had enjoyed the company of Jake for too long, and Jake was suddenly on the other side of the world from him, and the future became indistinct. Fantasies with no roots made Heeseung always be startled out of a cold sweat in the middle of the night. When he touched the cold temperature on the other side of the bed, the fear intensified and climbed up his spine along the fingers of Heeseung .

Every time Jake took more than ten hours to fly back to their cottage from the other side of the world, Heeseung couldn't bear to look at the bruises under his eyes. When Shen Jaerun wanted to go back, he scrunched up his face again and couldn't bear it. Heeseung hated himself for being completely controlled by his emotions like this, and even hated Jake who had stuffed all these complicated emotions into his body.

He remembered the first hamster he had, Mr Melon, which was a dull hamster, not at all as lively as Ball. Mr Melon was even pale when he died, lying in his cage as a cold little strip. Heeseung felt that he was very similar to Mr Melon when he hadn't met Jake , and after he got together with Jake , they raised two of the world's most hilarious critters together, Peeves and Balls. But if Peeves and Ball were to be forcibly separated now, would Ball die alone like Mr Melon , just like he is now.

The soju smoked red under Heeseung 's eyes, and there wasn't a single drop left in the bottle. Heeseung took out the only remaining coffee flavoured cigarette in his pocket and held it in his mouth, but unfortunately there was no lighter on him, so he could only bite open the popping beads and inhale a little bit of Jake 's flavour from the tobacco that wouldn't light up.

At eleven o'clock in the evening, Jake rushed from the airport to his home, and then came out from his home, and found Heeseung at the Han River.

Heeseung mouth is still holding the unlit cigarette, an empty bottle of wine at his feet. The wind blew his lower abdomen cramps, hands and feet are also cold and scary. He seemed to have known that Jake was coming back, and he didn't have much expression when he watched Jake run towards him.

Jake had not slept all day, his eyes and eyeballs were red, he held Heeseung 's cold hand, his lips stuttered a few times, unable to make a sound.

They were like this, holding hands at the Han River, looking at each other without words. After a long time, Heeseung sighed and slowly opened his mouth.

‘I'll raise both Peeves and Ball, you go back and study hard.’

Jake came forward, the flavour of coffee and marshmallow entwined together as they kissed, and there was the sweet taste of cigarette butts left on Lee Hsi Seung's lips.

‘Is that all we have?’

Jake 's voice was a little muffled as he stared at Heeseung 's pupils, reminding Heeseung of the day they first met, when Jake 's eyes were also this bright and laden with worry.

‘I'm tired, and you're tired too.’

‘Jake, we're done.’

After that night, Jake went straight to the airport again without going home. There were still many of Jake's things in their rental house. He probably doesn't want them all, Heeseung thought.

It was true that Jake was the more rational party in this relationship, but Heeseung's expression was always light no matter what decision he made, and he looked frighteningly calm. Only after Jake left did his mask of calmness finally crack a little slit, a tear flowed out of his right eye, and the little hamster in his chest cavity was busy picking up Heeseung 's broken heart.

Jake and Heeseung 's first relationship, thanks to the long-distance relationship, unexplained pheromone disorders and Heeseung 's social account of the 'Seattle imported guitar sales comments, so it ended without a hitch.