Chapter 1
“You are worthless”, “You have no value”, “You are a burden to the world, “You can't even control me.“
Another night when my mind torments me and feels like it's trying to eat me alive. Yes, I know I sound pathetic—here I am, 21 years old, and I can’t live up to the expectations I have for myself. Often, people tell me, “You’re in your best moment,” or “At your age, I had the world in my hands.”
I understand that they are trying to make me feel better. Or make me feel less pitiful but it just gives my brain more proof of my being worthless.
Yes, as you might expect, I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. This is why I have no friends, no job, and not even a boyfriend. I find it hard to take risks or try new things; my mind feels like it's working against me, and I've come to accept that conclusion.
Am I even alive?
Anyway, it's already three in the morning might as well get fresh air maybe it will help.
I make my way down the stairs passing my parent's room with such steady feet you would think I was trained by spies.
My parents are wonderful people I was their first born then they had my little sister a little sassy if you ask me but she is as perfect as them.
I get my flip flops that are close to the entrance and I open the door slowly to not make a sound. Once I was out I took a long breath that I didn't even realize I was holding my breath the entire time.
I walked to my favorite convenience store. It was open 24 hours so it was perfect for people like me who only want to drown in ice cream at three in the morning. Plus is only ten minutes away from my house.
The whole way I couldn't help but admire the beautiful moon above the dark sky.
Suddenly the beautiful sky started crying with heavy raindrops that covered me from head to toe I had no choice but to run. I was close to the store when suddenly I saw something strange that made me stop and forget the rain a guy was lying down in the middle of the empty street.
Normally, I would walk past and mind my own business, but something about that scene attracted me like a magnet. Maybe it was curiosity, or perhaps it was the fact that the boy looked so free and refreshing—something I long for in my life.
How can he just lie down in the middle of the street? Isn't he afraid of being run over? Or catching a cold from being wet by the heavy rain?
As I got closer, I started to see his features. He was incredibly handsome: he had black hair that partially covered his ears and perfectly framed his face. His eyes were closed, which made his jawline appear more defined, and his skin was as pale as snow. I couldn’t... stop staring he made everything around him feel unreal almost like a fantasy.
“Are you going to join me or just stare”
I was brought back to reality by his deep voice.
“I I'm sorry, I'm just surprised. What are you doing? Aren't you scared of a car coming and not seeing you?”
He looks up at me and stares. I feel like he could see right through me but surprisingly it didn't make me feel anxious just a little embarrassed since I was still wearing my super fluffy pajamas.
“well they won't run me over if you and your weird pajamas are in the way, now go and bother someone else”
“Hey, they're my favorite, and you still haven't answered me Why are you here? Are you okay?”
“look strange girl who doesn't leave me alone I like to feel in control of my life from time to time and doing this kind of stuff makes me feel alive. You wouldn't understand”
Actually, “I do understand,” I said in a whisper. Suddenly out of nowhere, I hear a camera clicking multiple times. I looked up and a guy dressed in full black with a mask on was taking pictures of us inside his car.
Next thing I knew I was being dragged by the beautiful man who was running as if his life depended on it.
“Wait what is happening? Why are we running?”
“ Hurry! They can't see us.“
We ran until we found a dark little valley where you could only find one pole that gave light to the empty street.
“Were good I think we lost them”, ”Are you okay?” he asked.
Just then with the light shining above us and how close we were, I noticed that he looked familiar. Where have I seen him? Just then I came back to reality and my brain went crazy. My heart felt like it could come out and tap dance all around me. Yep, anxiety attack.
“ Why were we running? Who are you? Where are we?, and Where are my shoes? “
They must have flown off when running like crazy I thought.
He covers my mouth with his soft hand and looks at me with stern eyes.
“ Hey breath, for your own good I rather not tell you who I am. Let's just say a lot of people follow me, and as for your shoes I'll get you new ones as soon as stores open “ he said with a short chuckle.
“Can I at least know your name?” I replied
He hesitated at first but then he looked me in the eyes and said.
“Agust”
“Just called me Agust”
