Prologue
Becca
Clayton Fuller was the bane of my existence.
A little dramatic? Probably, but completely warranted.
I wasn’t part of the “popular” crowd in high school. I also wasn’t part of the “unpopular” crowd either. I was kind of just there. I had a close-knit group of friends, and we spent our time together doing our own thing.
Clayton wasn’t part of the popular crowd either. He was the popular crowd. You know those guys in high school who were so extraordinary that they didn’t seem human? It’s almost as if they were artificially produced in a lab. That was Clayton. He excelled in baseball, basketball, and football, and was also brilliant enough to be part of the debate team and graduate with high honors.
Superhuman. Am I right?
I mean, no one is good at everything, but somehow, he was.
The end of senior year was approaching. Thank the lord! I only had one last project to finish. Would you like to take a guess at who my partner was?
Now, I want to go on record saying that Clayton was never a bully. He was always the type of person who treated everyone equally, regardless of their “status.” Yes, ladies and gentlemen, if you can believe it, he was also nice.
We managed to be very productive during class. However, our time was running out and panic was setting in.
“Relax. It’s going to be fine. We’ll finish.”
I exhaled before tying my hair in a ponytail, as if that would somehow assist me in finishing the project.
I acknowledged him with a nod and returned to researching on my laptop.
“Hey,” sitting in front of me, he reached over and partially lower the screen so I’d look at him, “Do you want to come over after school a couple of days this week? Give us some extra time.”
“Yes!” I didn’t mean for the word to sound so breathy and sensual when I said it. Finally having a plan was such a relief.
He chuckled, “Okay. I’ll be home tomorrow around 7:00. Practice is done at 6:45.”
“Thank you, Clayton. This makes me feel so much better.”
“Clay.”
“Excuse me?”
“You can call me Clay. My grandma is the only one who calls me Clayton. Oh, and my mom when she’s super pissed.”
His deep, ocean-blue eyes pierced into me, making me blush.
He asked for my number so he could send me his address. “See you tomorrow.”
Let’s fast forward to our first visit.
I parked in front of an unbelievably massive home. I bent down and narrowed my eyes to get a clearer view through the passenger window.
Is that a basketball court?
I verified the address on my phone. This was definitely the right location.
I grabbed my bookbag from the backseat and made my way up the driveway. It was surprisingly short compared to the house. If I were to use my imagination, I would picture a driveway that stretches out, curves, with trees surrounding it.
After pressing the doorbell, I took a quick look around while waiting. I saw the neighbor from across the street looking at me. She probably thought I was selling something. The sound of the door opening startled me and quickly turned around.
“Hey, Becca,” he moved back and opened the door wider, “Come in.”
I smiled politely as I stepped inside. I’m not even going to describe the inside of this house to you, because even if I did, you wouldn’t believe me. Let’s just say, if Gone with the Wind was filmed here, I wouldn’t even be surprised.
“Clay, your house is…”
“Obscene?”
“It’s stunning,” I cleared my throat when I noticed him smiling at me, “You know, for a house.”
His laugh gave me butterflies.
Don’t start Becca. This boy is way out of your league. You are just here for school.
He led me to a door in the back of the house. When he opened it, there were stairs going down.
“Where are we going?”
“To my room.”
I followed him down. “Your room is in the basement.”
“Well,” he shrugged, “my room is the basement.”
My jaw dropped. Everything you can think of, it was down here.
“Is that a Pac-Man arcade game?” I dropped my backpack and ran over.
He smiled as he followed me. “You like Pac-Man?”
I looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Who doesn’t like Pac-Man?”
“All my ex-girlfriends.”
“That’s probably because they have actual lives.” I pushed the buttons and watched it light up.
He was standing so close, and he smelled really good. I instantly backed away. “We should probably get some work done, though.”
Taking a seat on the couch, he placed his laptop and notebook on the table. I plopped down on the floor across from him and did the same.
I started packing up my things around 9:00. “It’s getting late. I should go.”
“One game of Pac-Man first?”
My eyes widen and I jumped up, “Okay!”
That’s how things played out for the entire month that followed. With our project almost finished, we found ourselves spending more time hanging out than working.
Finally, after a couple of weeks, I felt comfortable enough to ask as Clay escorted me to the door. “Where are your parents? Are they home?”
Although I hadn’t seen them, it’s possible they’re in a different part of the enormous house.
“They put in long hours and are often on business trips,” he shrugged. “It’s what every kid wants, isn’t it?”
A looked at him confused, “What’s that?”
“A house all to themselves.”
He glanced at me when I stopped walking. “Is it?”
He just laughed it off, but I could see the sadness in his eyes.
“Isn’t it lonely?”
He flashed me a super cute smile that made me feel all fluttery inside. “Not when you’re here.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed as I let him finish walking me to the door.
When our project was done, he still asked if I wanted to come over.
“I don’t know why people like this movie so much. I don’t get it.” I grabbed a handful of popcorn.
Clay started laughing, “It’s Napoleon Dynamite. There’s nothing to get.”
“That’s a relief,” I chuckled, grabbing my soda.
I was sipping my drink when Clay looked at me. “I’d really like to kiss you.”
I audibly swallowed the soda and gave him a wide-eyed look. “Now?”
He chuckled, “No. I think we should schedule it for next time.”
“Hey! Don’t make fun of my scheduling process. It got us to complete the project early, didn’t it?”
“It did.”
I gave a satisfied nod. “I’m a scheduler and I’m not ashamed to admit it.”
He had a different look in his eyes when he was looking at me this time. He was going to kiss me. I instantly felt a rush of nerves throughout my body.
While I’m not the most inexperienced person, my experience with guys is limited. During my sophomore year, my best friend Jared and I decided to kiss. The fact that neither of us had been kissed made us feel left out.
Well, it turns out he’s actually gay. So that kind of knocked my confidence down a peg. I mean, I know I didn’t turn him gay, but damn, what a horrible to time to realize it.
I had a pretty serious boyfriend throughout junior year, but we only went so far.
Clay moved a little closer.
“Why?”
He paused and gave me a smirk. “Why?”
“Yeah. Why do you want to kiss me?”
He stared at my lips as he spoke. “Because I want to know what it feels like.”
Good answer.
“Okay.”
My heart was pounding. It’s just a kiss. It’s just a kiss.
He kissed me slowly. The first thing I noticed was how soft his lips were. With a gentle touch, he kissed me while his hand caressed my neck. Using a gentle grip, he lightly grabbed my jaw, causing my head to tilt back. My entire body ignited when his tongue entered my mouth. As the kiss grew more intense, I moved closer. Acting impulsively, I straddled him and ran my fingers through his hair. It was thick, blond, and unruly. I can totally picture his mom always telling him to cut it.
Finally, his lips let go of mine so we could take a break and catch our breath. Once we stopped kissing, I realized I was rubbing up against him. I instantly stopped and instinctively covered my mouth. He asked for a kiss, and I basically launched myself at him.
“I’m so sorry.”
He gave me a flirty smile. “You can straddle me anytime while we’re making out. No need to apologize.”
We started a pattern of spending time together and kissing. While he would be starting at an expensive, elite university in the fall, I had chosen to attend community college. I didn’t expect this to go anywhere. Even with that in mind, I wanted to take things to the next level physically. I wanted him to be my first. He was gentle and sweet and made me feel at ease.
On a blanket in Clay’s backyard, we relaxed on a warm summer night.
“I always forget how many stars can be seen from here.” Resting on his back, he had his hands placed behind his head.
“Clay,” I sat up.
He gave me a concerned look and sat up with me. “Yeah?”
“I want to be with you,” I admitted, glancing down and nervously fidgeting with my hands. I was hoping he would understand what I meant, because I didn’t want to say it directly.
“Are you sure? You know I don’t mind if we don’t.”
His words only made me more convinced about the decision I had made. That night, we slept together. Initially, it was slightly awkward and uncomfortable. It was completely different from anything I’ve read in books. Obviously, it was my first time. I didn’t really expect him to fuck me up against a tree or anything.
He was gentle, took his time, and consistently checked in on me.
“Over the moon” doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt. Despite the knowledge that our relationship wouldn’t last beyond the summer, I had no regrets about asking him to be my first. Or at least, that’s what I thought.
Everything was different after that night. Clay was always busy and seemed distant when we spent time together.
What caused him to distance himself after our most intimate moment? Was it me? Did I do something to upset him? Was I really that terrible?
I mean, it was my first time. Perhaps when I said something, he felt guilty and didn’t want to reject me.
Clay didn’t seem like the type of guy to fuck and flee. That was Jared’s saying, not mine.
I visited Clay’s house one afternoon, knowing he would be there. I immediately stopped when I reached his street. In the middle of his driveway, Clay and his ex-girlfriend Shayna were all over each other.
I felt so stupid. I totally bought into the dream, saw exactly what I wanted. The only reason I didn’t completely shut down was because I knew I’d never have to see him again.
Until now, apparently.
