Trans Bi Accident

“Hey, I’m Niklas.” Shit. Wrong name again. Well, not entirely wrong—I allow myself a few options. Niki, Ray, Rachel. This time I went with the first one that came to mind. I guess it doesn’t really matter; I probably won’t see this random guy again anyway.

I completely miss the rest of the conversation.

“So, who was that again?” I ask Ida.

“Just some guy from one of my courses. He’s doing the school internship too.”

Oh yeah, the school internship... Just exactly what a Transperson needs in there life. A steady quiz of miss or mister. Its like a quiz i didnt study for.

“If I even do the internship, it depends on whether I get a spot at one of the schools close by,” I say.

“Well, there’s a way to guarantee that, but unless you have a child at home, I doubt it’ll help,” Ida jokes, and we both laugh.

“Wait, how does having a child help?”“If you’ve got a kid, you get priority for a spot at a nearby school. And you also get priority when searching for an apartment in Halle.”

Ok Rachel relax, don’t let those outside thoughts turn inside thoughts. I really do not want to pop a child into existence. Last time I had a slip up, we had a duck in the cafeteria.

“So, you’re telling me that if I had a kid, I’d have an easier time with both the school internship and finding an apartment?” I say, getting way too excited about this. “That’s a steal!”

Calm down, Rachel. Outside thoughts, not inside thoughts. Outside thoughts stay away from sudden materialization and inside thoughts make the entire fridge appear when I’ am hungry.

“Well, you won’t have a hard time finding someone to help with that,” Ida teases, winking at me.

We both laugh. We’ve known each other for years, so it’s easy to banter like this. I can even response like this:

“Well, are you available? We could both benefit from having a kid for the internship,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. There’s a brief silence before we both burst into laughter.

“So, you’d knock me up?”

“Well, the other way around might take a little longer,” I say, shrugging.

“Okay, so you knock me up, and we both get all the benefits. Sounds like a plan,” Ida replies.

“Don’t forget the child money!” I exclaim, maybe a bit too eagerly. She giggles, covering her mouth.

As we walk, I can’t help but notice the conversation is starting to feel more real than it should. My thoughts are drifting inside again—dangerous territory. Let’s not let this joke turn into reality. There is a slight tingle, the sudden appearance of transparent blue and I know my thoughts need to go outside, like right now! I glance at Ida to make sure she hasn’t noticed anything. Nope, still oblivious, thank god. Just focus, Rachel. No babies today.

“How do we name the child?” I blurt out, my voice a bit too loud, waving my arms like that’s going to somehow banish the glowing blueprints of materialization from forming. The last thing I need is a baby popping into existence just because of an inside thought gone rogue.

“The child would be a symbol of our commitment to the university degree,” Ida says after a pause. “What about naming it Engagement?”

Laughter fills the street again as we continue down the road. I have to admit, Ida’s idea is good. But am I really (even jokingly) planning to have a child with another woman—while I’m already in a relationship?

“We could have the baby, get our internship spots, and then put it up for adoption. Maybe Ina could adopt it. That way, Ina could find an apartment more easily.”

Ina, by the way, is my girlfriend. An accidental find in my normally dead dating Life. No, I did not warp her into existence, she was there before and humans are difficult, if not impossible, to make.

“I’m not sure Ina would go for this plan,” I say.

“I guess you’ll have to tell her and find out,” Ida shrugs. There’s a brief silence before she adds, “But one child is always hard to manage. What about siblings?”

I blink. Siblings? Why would we need multiple children for this insane plan?

“Well, Lina is an only child, and we all know how she turned out,” I joke, rolling my eyes. Ida giggles.

“I mean, I’m her ex. I’m supposed to dislike her, right?” Actually, Lina and I had a pretty chill breakup. We’re still on good terms, but it’s fun to pretend otherwise. I am just happy that she didn’t realize on of her “Dreams” was actually me fighting someone with a sword, I materialized from a bad dream.

“Since the kids aren’t for university, how about we name them ‘Fun’ and ‘Joy’? After all, we’re doing it for the joy of the fun,” Ida says with a smirk.

“So, you’d enjoy being knocked up by me?”

Silence. I think this is the moment where I either back off or double down. Do I cross the line for the sake of the joke, or should I be the responsible one and re-establish boundaries?

“Well, only one way to find out,” I say, shrugging again.

Ida looks over at me with a mischievous grin. For some reason, it feels like she’s looking down at me, even though I’m a full head taller. It’s probably just my imagination… or my submissive side, which is way too eager to get carried away with scenarios like this. No Rachel relax! We don’t want a very real and physical Ida in my room at night actually making this Idea come true. That’s cheating, we don’t do that.

“Are the others going to be in the cafeteria?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Yeah. As far as I know, Lina, Leo, Constanze, and Luca will all be there.”

You already know Lina, my terrible ex. Leo is a friend I met through Lina, and Luca is Leo’s significant other. Luca is under the trans umbrella like me—except she’s more of a “disco trans,” constantly changing their gender. It’s a joke; I respect them a lot. And Constanze? She’s a good friend I bonded with through D&D. D&D is basically the glue that holds our whole friend group together.

Did I go on to tell the whole group about Ida’s and my plan? Yes.

Were they confused by where this sudden baby-making idea came from, especially considering Ida’s usually the tame one? Also yes.

Were they weirded out by the fact that we openly talked about me knocking Ida up? Yes. Apparently, that’s a step further than the usual dick-sucking jokes we toss around. Maybe it was too far.