Within Our Minds

"IAN! IANNN!" I yell grinning and slamming the office door behind me. Excitement rushes through my blood and the smile on my face definitely wasnt a good look for me given my situation.

Ian looks up at me with a confused look on his face as he sighs and picks up his notebook and pen.

I scan his eyes and he looks concerned but also amused by my behavior.

"guess what I did last night?" I giggle as i hop on the couch way to excited.

"alex what? My office just closed like 5 minutes ago." He says in his usual calm and collected tone, any normal therapist would be pissed to have their patient barge in but he's been my therapist since I was 8 so me acting like this is like on his daily schedule.

But I have amazing news and he's probably gonna murder me.

"I uh..don't throw a book at me but I may have found her school..." I drag excitedly and grab a pillow holding it happily against my black hoodie.

By "her" I mean Laya. I've been...looking at her social media accounts ever since I found her in Some mall, I know everything about this girl. Well, everything I can find out online anyways.

"Alex.. please be joking, I thought you were getting over her?" He says, almost sounding disappointed.

Well, hes not wrong I kinda was until she posted a photo of her school on her insta. she blurred it of course but I edited the shit out of that image it took almost an hour.

I was just curious..nothing serious at all.

"I swear I didn't mean to Ian I swear I just...I just happend to be on her Insta page when she posted a photo of her school but she blurred out the name so I..I don't know I guess I may have edited the image until I could read the school name..no big deal Ian." I say smiling, giggling a little and leaning my head back.

This was just the little thing, I couldn't wait until he hears what I did next.

" oh so im guessing you just HAPPENED to waste...what, an hour or so editing the image ?" He asks me, tilting his head to the side. Hes known me for 6 years so I already know he knows what I fucking did

"Well...I mean yeah I couldn't help it" I say looking over at him, I couldn't stop smiling, I mean who wouldn't?

I was finally gonna be able to see Laya in person..god I could almost smell her sweet perfume she probably wears..

"Alex, did you fucking enroll yourself into her school?" He asks, leaning forward and setting his notebook and pen down, he looks at me with a 'please say no' look in his eyes.

Well shit. How the fuck did he know?

"Okay listen I had too! How could I not Ian found her school do you realize what that could do to me??" I grin and jump a little in my seat my heart racing with excitement.

School started in just a week and holy shit was I happy to finally get to see her.

possibly touch her even, the thought of my fingers tracing her soft body races through my mind and I gently place the pillow next to me.

"No alex do YOU realize what that could do to you? What if you snap? Or hurt her? I think your illness is getting worse and-"

"No. Its not. Im perfectly fine Ian, I've been taking your advice. I wanted to change schools anyways my old one was a shit hole." I cut him off and my gaze darkens as I cross my arms. Why would he even say that?

I was fine.

Perfectly fine even.

"Okay, yeah your right...Im sorry, but seriously! Don't act like a beast when you see this girl." He says almost sounding like he regrets what he said and starts scratching his non-existent beard.

It's not like im stalking her or anything, im just...looking out for her.

That's all.

She is mine after all, she just doesn't know it yet.

"Yeah whatever Ian...you know I won't. I know how to control myself, i've been practicing." I sit up straighting my back and smiling proudly. I really have.

I can finally look at a post of her without getting hard...kind of.

"Alright then, if thats true, look at this for a minute with no reaction." He says but before I can argue he's already grabbing his phone and typing away until he shows me a photo of Laya in a black skirt and matching black shirt.

Her hair was softly curled and her eyes were looking at an angle that made her so fucking gorgeous.

"Ian this is stupid." I look away and chuckle nervously.

I run my fingers through my dark blonde hair and sigh.

"Hey, you said you were getting good, so prove it before I slap you with a book yeah?" He asks and I sigh once again annoyingly even though I definitely wanted to look

It's just a minute, whats the worse that can happen?

I look at the photo and holy shit it was like looking at an angel. Wow she was beautiful, I look at her hands and notice three bracelets on her wrist. She was always wearing those bracelets, in every photo and honestly it looks good on her. I scan her legs and look at the skirt, god that skirt..I think of bending in front of her and trailing my hand up and across her beautifully smooth legs... My brown eyes locking with her blue eyes making me run my hand between her thighs and feeling her wetness start to grow and her breathing start to get whimpy and needy...the thoughts immediately rush to my dick and I grab the pillow and put it on my lap instantly.

Fuck I need her.

"Alright alex that's it times up you did good kid! Im honestly suprised you didn't-"

"No...w-wait just a little more longer please" I plead as I reach for his phone but he snatches his hand away smiles. His eyes trail down at the pillow on my lap and he raises an eyebrow while he looks up at me.

"Are you...are you hard right now...?" He asks grinning and leans back in his chair and chuckles.

"No im just...alright fuck you Ian." I say looking over as I stand up and start walking towards the door.

"Alex! Wait hold on kid, sit back down we need to discuss this." He laughs and I reluctantly sit down.

I sigh and place the pillow back on my lap clearly annoyed and embarrassed. He did that shit on purpose he knows how I get.

"Can you tell me why you started feeling this way looking at the picture?" He asks grabbing his notebook.

"How can I not..she makes me feel...good. I guess.." I say calmly and I look down at my leg which was shaking. I didn't even realize that it was.

Tap tap tap tap tap... in a never ending pattern..I wonder if I could fuck her that fast..over and over and over...

"Makes you feel good? Can you explain how exactly?" He asks again cutting off my thoughts and I look around before looking down at the pillow.

"Like...I can stare at her for..hours on end I guess. When I see her I wonder if any other boy is in her life..then I get mad. Like only Im supposed to be in her life. Nobody else." I say truthfully. Ian nods and writes something down before setting his notebook down.

"I see. Have you tried to distract yourself from her at all? Or can you not no matter how hard you try to?" He asks and I lock eyes with him.

"Ian I think she is the distraction." I say, my eyes darken and I look down.

We sit in silence for a while before he clears his throat and stands up.

"Alex, when you see her, don't...hurt her. You have to contain yourself I know how you are. Promise me you won't lose control?"

I don't say anything. I can't make any promises. Fuck if I touch her I know I'll do something.

"I uh..I promise..I promise I won't lose control.." I mumble and swallow hard as I stand up and head for the door.

"Alex wait take this." He says and throws me a white bunny plushie.

"What's this for? You want me to have an at-home therapist now?" I chuckle as I catch the plushie and hold it.

"Call it what you want, just use it to calm down." He says and I nod and walk out the office.

I look down at the bunny while I walk down the sidewalk.

I kinda like this plushie, it was soft...

It reminds me of laya.

hey guys! ⚘️ thank you so much for reading the first chapter and let me know what you think! This is my first time so sorry if the writing is bad :) this chapter has around 1684 words (not counting below the line)