Chapter 1
~Ayah
~
His eyes, fierce and dark, are anchored upon me. He may as well be observing my soul.
Each step he makes toward me brings faint shivers to the surface of my skin. He steps past slumped bodies with gaping wounds and filmy eyes, focused entirely on me.
He killed all these people. He took a sword to their flesh to stop their pursuit of me, taking down a small army in my name.
Now he stands before me like a fallen god, his weapon sheathed.
A slow bleed of fog curls around our ankles, bathing the bodies in mist. On this battlefield there is only silence and us.
He reaches out, warm fingertips brushing against my jaw to cup the side of my face.
His eyes soften, his intentions palpable as his gaze drifts down to my lips.
~
A firm knock at the door plunges me back into reality as effectively as a shove.
The door creaks softly as it opens, my father’s eyes finding mine. I nestle my bookmark into the crease of my book, pressing it closed reluctantly.
“Am I interrupting your reading?”
“It’s fine.”
I push off my stomach so I can sit cross legged on my sprawling bed. Father sits in front of me, his dark clothing contrasting against my dusky pink duvet. He takes the book from me so he can review my progress.
“Wow, you’re almost finished already,” he praises, his smile warm and kind.
“I can barely put it done,” I admit dreamily, gazing at the intricate cover with its gold and black embellishments. “I’ve never read a romance novel like this one before.”
I’ve been chewing through books recently. There isn’t a hobby I haven’t sifted through at this point of my life, but reading has stayed a consistent companion in my dreadfully dull life.
“Do you like it?” He hands it back to me.
“I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to be loved like that,” I adjust the soft ivory material of my dress absently. “Do you think I’ll ever be loved?”
Having someone not related to me who could love me so desperately that they would slaughter an entire army in my name is so foreign to me.
I’m not even allowed beyond the walls of this manor. The chance to meet someone organically is virtually impossible, so I’m left with only beautifully bitter dreams.
I’m not particularly special — it is the strange magic that flows through my veins that makes me desirable.
I can heal almost any ailment with my touch alone. Father tells me that were my existence known to the world, packs would go to war to possess me, my power.
I’ve never been wanted for me, Ayah. I don’t know how to separate myself from my power anymore.
The ability to paint, to write or sing or dance is lost on me. I can’t swim, I’ve never had friends and I’ve never known the taste of true love.
Ayah is nothing. She is her magic and nothing more.
“You’re loved by me, and your mother,” father assures me, his smile as wistful and empty as it’s always been when he’s avoiding promising me anything.
“Mother became sick when I was so little, she wouldn’t know me as I am now. She may not love me like she used to.” I curl my legs up to my chest, hugging them.
Father assures me I inherited my silver eyes from her, although I’ve never seen them. I stare down at her serene face, peaceful and ageless, and I see none of myself in her.
She’s dying, kept alive only by me. She has been since I was three years old. In a sense I am her god, gazing down upon her with her life at my fingertips.
She cannot move, speak or shift into consciousness. She hardly breathes. She is a shell, my father’s love to her and their mate bond giving her a true place in the land of the living.
“Love like that transcends time, my dear.” He brushes his hand along the sleek cover of my book. “She will love you just as ardently as she once did.”
“Your hope that she will return to us is admirable,” I mumble, for I share no such optimism.
I’m weakening by the day, as if my mother is sapping my power with no intention of returning it. I’m not strong enough to revive her, and father knows it.
“Once we find out how to amplify your ability, she will.” His smile stutters, but only slightly.
He’s seeking a physical amplifier that we’re not sure even exists.
“What brought you up here?” I settle back into my pillows, my pile of cushions hugging in around me.
Usually father calls me down. As an Alpha without a Luna, he is usually drowning in work I’m not privy to. My bedroom is usually an undisturbed sanctuary.
He sighs roughly, pinching his thick, dark brows. His sudden shift In demeanour has me tensing apprehensively.
“I wanted to speak to you about a visitor arriving this evening.”
Realisation dawns on me. “You want me to stay in my room?”
“Of course.” He grimaces. “For a week.”
“A week?”
Wretched disappointment spills through me like a tipped over inkwell. I’m used to being condemned to my room, but for week…the thought is too much to bear.
No one beyond these manor walls knows I exist. It’s why I cannot travel, cannot meet those who deign to visit. To the world, my father is childless and almost a widower.
“He’s a very important guest. I believe he may be able to help me find an amplifier,” he explains. “Usually I chase of guests as you know, but he is vital to helping your mother. I’m sure you understand.”
I flinch. “He knows about me?”
“No, he believes the amplifier is for my Enforcer. He thinks I want to strengthen my army, while he desires a trade.”
Father looks off through the glass doors, past the railing of my balcony and to the mountain ranges on the horizon. They glisten with snow under watery dawn light, so distant they may as well exist in another world entirely.
“What kind of trade?” I ask warily, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Information on an amplifier for an object that belonged to my father,” he explains, being purposefully elusive with his choice of words. “One I don’t desire to part with, but will if his information is valuable.”
“Who is this person?”
“He’s an Alpha. A dangerous one, who I can’t risk having see you,” he states sharply. “You are a prize that cannot be traded for.”
I pick restlessly at my nails. I’ve been given a basic education, but my geographical and historical knowledge is limited only to the pack my father rules over. Any other packs, their Alpha’s and their way of living is beyond my knowledge.
Why should I need to know such matters? I am merely a vessel, not even set to inherit my fathers position of power.
“So I need to stay in my quarters for an entire week?” I glance out my bedroom door and to the rest of my personal suite, grateful for the spacious area I’ve been granted, while cursing it all the same.
I’ve come to resent it after all these years.
“It’s not ideal, but you’re safe here,” he reminds me. “You can go on your balcony if you need air, but only very late at night, okay?”
“Alright…”
I should be grateful this warning hasn’t come with his usual lengthy spiel about how dangerous outsiders are and how quickly I would be taken advantage of.
He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead before he stands. “At the end of this, I have a very special surprise for you.”
I perk up. “What is it?”
“You have to wait.” He grins, knowing he has me hooked on his line. “Plus I’ll have the cook make all your favourite treats, okay? Then I’ll order all the books you could ever want. Even the romantic ones.”
“Thank you, father.” I smile despite my disappointment.
I’m going to be undeniably bored this week.
“Don’t look so sad, sweetheart. You love your suite.” He lingers at the door way.
It is beautiful. I designed it myself the moment I could. The glass doors open onto a sizeable balcony that adore, facing the gardens and distant mountains. Inside, the walls are pale with ivory wainscotting, mullioned windows adorned with gold curving up into the sloping ceiling.
When it was completed I thought I could reside here forever. The novelty very quickly wore off, however…
“If this Alpha sees me, will he kill me?” I ask softly, my voice barely above a whisper.
“He is more than capable of it,” father responds gravelly. “Also watch for his entourage. They are all his spies.”
“I’ll be careful, don’t worry,” I promise quietly.
There is no doubt that I’ll abide by fathers rules. Despite being a grown woman, I’ve trusted for most of my life that only he could keep me safe.
He grips the door tightly, raising his brow. “What do we say?”
“No risks…” I mumble.
“I love you. Your food will be brought to you and anything else you need.”
“Love you too.”
He departs as swiftly as he arrives, letting a cold silence settle over my room. Only the warm breeze stirring through my curtains keeps my thoughts grounded.
My book remains closed on the end of my bed for the rest of the day. I want to savour the story, not yet ready to find out whether the protagonist has chosen the hero or the villain as her lover.
This is the first book I’ve read where the latter has even been an option.
It’s an exhilarating concept, and one I’m beginning to understand….
I want someone to destroy the world for me.
By nightfall I’ve tumbled into a fit of boredom that has me both fatigued and wired.
I’ve left my balcony door wide open, bathing in the brisk night air while I distract myself with another book.
The sound of hooves clattering on stone and the creaking of wheel bearings has me sitting up straight on my bed, my book forgotten.
He’s arrived.
With featherlight steps I stride across my room to the balcony doors. My room faces the courtyard, the usually unyielding front gate now open to allow in the four transports.
Keeping my body pressed into the curtains, I watch on, careful to ensure that I’m not visible.
The transports draw to a stop. The horses pulling them have coats so slick and black they reflect the moonlight, their heads tossing from side to side, breaths fogging at their muzzles.
My heart is in my throat, thumping erratically as I watch with bated breath. My father emerges from beneath my balcony, his royal fur coat draped over his shoulders, a cluster of guards flanking him.
The transport doors open collectively, various people in different stations stepping out.
I drag my gaze over them, looking for the Alpha. From up here it’s impossible to tell, and they all dress in black attire that ranges from formal to what a warrior would wear.
My eyes pause on one person in particular.
He steps out with his shoulders squared back, at least a couple inches taller than everyone around him. Darkness seems to draw toward him as he scans the area, the shadows smothering his silhouette.
I note his broad stature, his dark gloves and black chest harness strapped over his breastbone atop his tunic. He walks with an air of confidence, the others seeming to look toward him for instruction.
Either that is an Alpha or a very powerful army general.
I remain nestled against the curtains, daring to shift just slightly further out so I can see -
The man’s gaze shifts up to me, his eyes meeting mine.
For a long moment it’s like I’m cuffed to him. No matter how hard my subconscious yanks, I can’t retain my composure. I just stare back at him dumbly, utterly captivated.
Even from this distance I see pale blue eyes rimmed by dark lashes. His focus is relentless, like a predator spotting its prey from a distance.
Slowly, his lips curve into the slightest smile.
Jolting from a trance, I shove myself back. I nearly tear the curtain down as I stumble away and back into the confines of my room.
I rest my hand against my chest as I press against the wall, the comforting veil of shadow falling upon me.
He saw me.
