A Simple Story Beautifully Told

"This is a surprisingly touching, magical little story. There's no fireworks or heroics here, just simple, unvarnished storytelling. I won't give anything away, but if you like to be engrossed in a world of sentiment and magic (simple, rather than over-the-top magic), this story will delight you. There are a few minor issues with the language which can be fixed in a quick edit, such as commas, which are tricky for the non-native speaker in English. For example: "Angry Ben threw the boulder away," should be "Angry, Ben through the boulder away"--unless his name is really "Angry Ben." Also a few sentences like "Feeling slightly dizzy he pretend suddenly as if he was a deer," which sounds awkward. This should be, "Feeling slightly dizzy, he pretended suddenly that he was a deer." I might also vary the sentence structure, since it relies on basically simple sentences (but that might be what you were going for). Technical issues aside (which are minor), this story betrays a true storyteller exploring a unique world. And more importantly, I found it moving, but not in a sappy way. It has genuine emotion and that's a hard thing to convey in a short story."