The boy across the Street

I’d been caught. All these years hiding who I am from everyone, what I feel from everyone. But you’d caught me. The one person I never wanted to find out. When you came into the bathroom and saw me with him, with another guy, and the first words out of your mouth were “what the fuck?!”

I almost died right there. The boy I was with, eyes wide, shoved me away, slamming me against the wall that he’d already had me pinned to. He walked off as fast has his feet would carry him. Well so much for that hookup. It had taken me so long to build up the courage to join that gay dating app, and now you’d ruined my first chance at losing my virginity.

I turned to look at you, not realizing how close you’d gotten to me, almost right in front of me, any closer and our chests would be touching. You glared at me with those eyes, the ones that always seemed to glare at me. It’s not my fault we hated each other. We’d always hated each other, even as children. I guess that’s what happens when your parents are best friends and try to force you to be best friends. We were too different, we’d never gotten along. But those eyes, that face, god and your body, I’d always thought were perfect. You are 100% my type, but I’d never tell you that, I never wanted you to know. You didn’t need to know, you’re straight. But it was too late now. There you were glaring at me while I was pinned to the wall of the bathroom. Your hand shot up, grabbing me by the throat, squeezing just hard enough that I let out a gasp. You looked me in the eyes, sparkling blue, ocean eyes reflecting anger back at me.

“What are you doing?” I choked out. “Why are you angry? Get off of me!”

I tried pushing you away, but you’ve always been bigger than me, stronger than me. My hands pushing against your chest did nothing to move you. You didn’t look away from me, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable. What did you want from me, why were you so angry? I guess you finding out I’m gay made you mad? It’s kinda normal nowadays, I didn’t peg you as someone that was homophobic, but I guess I don’t really know you. There was something else in your gaze though, something other than anger and i didn’t know what it was. Suddenly, but slowly, you moved the hand you had wrapped around my throat, but you didn’t let go of me. Instead that had found its way to the back of my neck. I cocked my head just slightly to the side wondering what was going on. Your eyes flitted from mine to my lips and then back again, And before I knew it, you’d pulled my face towards yours and crashed our lips together.

I let out a confused “mmm!” But your lips were so warm, so soft, so sweet against mine, that I just melted into you. My hands that were on your chest slid to your shoulders then around your neck. You pulled away and looked at me, the anger was gone, but whatever had been hiding behind that anger was there now front and center. what was it? I didn’t recognize that look. With your other hand you pushed me back against the wall as far as I would go and brought your lips to mine again, I opened my mouth slightly in surprise and you took that as an invitation, pushing your tongue into my mouth. Your tongue, just as sweet as your lips, hot and wet, explored my mouth, wrapped around my tongue.

I let out a moan “nnghh!” Which only seemed to make you want more, you dragged your hand down my chest to the hem of my tshirt where you stopped, just before you touched my skin. You pulled away from me and looked into my eyes again, your lips slightly swollen and your cheeks dusted pink. My mouth dropped open and I stared right back at you, blue eyes meeting green. I’m so confused right now. Why were you angry? Why, why did you kiss me? But the only words that came out of my mouth were “Uh…… what?”

You tilted your head to the side and let out a small breath, “hhhuh.” With one hand still on the back of my neck and the other gripping the hem of my T-shirt you quietly say “man, that was better than i expected.”

I’m even more confused! And now I’m also angry! “What was that?!” I yelled pushing you away from me, I’d caught you off guard and you stumbled back slightly. “Why did you do that?! What’s wrong with you? You can’t just do that to me!” I yelled again.

You stared at me confusion in your eyes. Tears began to form in mine as I rushed past you and out the bathroom door. They began falling down my face as you yelled after me.

“Wait! Harvey! Wait! I’m sorry!” I didn’t listen to you and just kept running. What just happened, why had Callum Flynn kissed me?

We hated each other, what the hell is going on? I ran to the parking lot, unlocking my car and climbing in, starting it as fast as I could. I could see Callum coming out of the side door of the school looking around, I assumed for me. He heard my car starting and whipped his head in my direction. He wore an expression I’d almost never seen on him in the 10 years we’d known each other. Guilt? Sadness? Regret? Did he mean to do what he’d just done to me? I shook my head and slammed my car into drive, fleeing the school parking lot. It was the middle of the day, lunch time, sure I’d be skipping the rest of the day, but it was Friday anyway and we were seniors, graduating in a few months, I wouldn’t be missed if I skipped just a few hours. I made my way down the road away from the school, but where was I heading? I can’t go home, dad is home and he’d yell at me for leaving school early. So I just kept driving until I reached the overlook.

Nobody really comes here during the winter. It’s too cold to hike to the top, but I did it anyway. I parked at the bottom of the hill and slowly trekked up, good thing I’d worn my boots today. God I loved hiking. I could do it everyday. When I reached the top of the overlook I was met with the beautiful view I loved so much. The cool clean air burned my lungs as I sat down on the edge. It had been since before Christmas that I’d come up here. I missed this view. The trees in the valley below swayed in the wind, the water in the lake rippled just enough that I could see it from this distance. There was a path down from the overlook to the lake, but it was far too cold to go in the water so I opted to just sit and enjoy the quiet. I needed to think anyway. I needed to think about what just happened. What was going through his mind? Why did Callum kiss me, I don’t understand. He hates me. I hate him. I felt this burning in my chest as I remembered the feeling of his lips against mine, of his hot breath on my cheeks. I hate Callum Flynn. I hate him, right?