Chapter 1
I gazed at the lit-up city. It looked like a stage, and I was on it. When it gets dark, the city comes alive.
I was taking a stroll through the city... My vision blurred, just like my thoughts. I felt the wind in my hair. I was all alone. Just me and the dancing lights. Every colour possible smudged onto the blurry landscape.
It has been a busy day. I could barely bring myself to gather the energy to walk. I was consumed by exhaustion. All I could do was enjoy the cold breeze, peace, and quiet, though I didn't realize it was going to quickly come to an end.
I strolled around the endless streets when I froze in my tracks at the feeling of a cold metal surface being pushed to my nape.
A gun.
I memorized the unique embroidery and texture of the metal death tool since my father used to own one himself.
I didn’t panic. I had already gotten used to the idea of this happening to me one day. I’d gotten used to the idea of many things happening to me one day. I had thought of almost every possible situation and scenario.
“What do you want?” I whispered, my voice even.
“Wow, someone decided to be brave today.” I heard an unexpectedly familiar voice, though I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. It was complete silence for a second too long. Long enough to raise tension in the air, to make it thick and almost impossible to breathe in, to... I felt a sudden warmth somewhere close to the gun, crawling up my neck. Before I could even comprehend or try to understand what was happening, I heard the same oddly familiar masculine voice right next to my ear this time. “Nothing?” He sounded almost disappointed.
Who is he? And why does he sound so familiar?
I heard a sigh—or something that sounded like one. “Why are you just standing there? Won’t you say something?” he said again, confused.
Well, I couldn’t just tell him: "Oh, I’m sorry, I was just busy overthinking" while having a gun pointed to my head. I should be scared, but instead, my mind wandered—to groceries, of all things. I still needed tomatoes for the salad I was planning to make later, which I probably won’t get to make anymore. How ridiculous was that? A gun pressed against my head, and all I could think about was food.
The voice in my ear interrupted my thoughts. “Hello?? Is anyone there?” This time, he wasn’t so calm. I guess I got on his nerves. Just like on everyone else’s. I can never please my boss or my parents, not that it matters anymore. Everything I do is wrong. From being born to preschool to elementary school, high school, and even university, and now, even at my job, I always do something wrong. No matter what it is, I do it wrong.
“Look,” I felt his grip tighten on the gun. “I don’t know what the hell you are doing right now, but stop it.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “I hope you understand you have a gun pointed at you.” I thought about it for a bit. He was right. I did have a gun pointed at my head. So what?
What’s the point of me continuing to live? I always mess everything up. I’m a nuisance to everyone I know, and even if I adopted a dog to keep me company, he’d probably be disappointed in me too.
“Shoot me.”.
