The Chicken or The Egg?
“I remember it clearly. As clear as I see you, Madam.”
“Forgive me if that doesn’t spark confidence,” Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr. said forlornly. Hearing Detective Inspector’s deep, raspy voice, Harold blushed and stirred in his seat. He screwed up his eyes as if his misconception was due to the dim lighting of the interrogation room. He drew back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to look unfazed by his mistake of Detective Inspector’s gender. He was puzzled, his mind going back to the first time he saw the lady detective leading the investigation on the scene whom he thought was the main detective in the case and would be interrogating him. He thought it was to be the same lady detective who talked to him before behind the mirror when he was first brought in. His mind then made the connection to the detective who interrogated him before the fire marshals barged into the room ordering everybody out. In the end he attributed the mistake to his overall exhaustion and moved passed it.
“Er, well, I remember it was raining cats and dogs and I couldn’t see past my nose,” Harold said, full of new confidence in his recollection of events, trusting his memory to provide a solid enough of an alibi to get him to walk out of the dingy room a free man without Detective Inspector’s boot print on his behind. Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr. let out a deep, disappointed sigh. He covered his face with his palm, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry from frustration.
“The victim’s clothes were dry -”
“Erm -” Harold said, as a continuation to proving his innocence.
“The coroner confirmed the time and death to have been on Tuesday 28th while it hasn’t rained for a full week before that -”
“Er, excuse me, Detective -”
“- The news broadcast across the country has been nothing but breaking news on the ongoing draught, if that may jog your memory, Mr. Asinus -” Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr.’s attention was drawn away by a pitiful sight, that of Harold slowly raising his right hand, supported by his left by the elbow, as if in a classroom, shy to break the teacher’s narrative to ask to go to the bathroom.
“Erm, excuse me, Detective -”
“It’s Detective Inspector -”
“- sorry to interrupt you, but which one are we talking about again?” Harold said. The look on Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr.’s face expressed an array of conflicting emotions, amongst which that of dismay, disdain and disgust were most expressive. A vein throbbed under his left eye. “It’s just that you got me confused -”
“Well, of course, Mr. Asinus, I imagine that you can get easily confused,” Detective Inspector said, rubbing his temple in frustration at the boldness of Harold’s honesty. His tone was condescending and sarcastic, but it all went past Harold’s head. “I am referring to the last of your victims, that is, the last one we have found as of yet. The one you have brazenly put in a grave we previously dug another one of your victims out of.”
“Well, in my defence, Detective, there’s been quite a few of them -” Harold said, in all honesty, his words coming across a shy smile. Detective Inspector’s head shot up to stare at Harold, as if pulled back by the back of his hair.
“That’s in no way your defence, Mr. Asinus!” Harold’s hands shot to his chest, as if accused of, well, murder.
“Well, I didn’t kill them -” Harold said, then thought better, catching himself in a lie, “I mean, I did, er, actually, but it’s not what you think, I assure you. I was trying all this time to tell you what had happened actually, but I can’t seem to get the attention I need to clarify what had transpired. Even now, I don’t think we are on the same page -”
Detective Inspector couldn’t hold his anger at Harold’s person any longer. He slammed his palms on the table as he shot up from his chair, overturning the chair in the process. The loud bang startled Harold who curled up in his chair, his knees pressed to his chest. He reached out his right hand, the left one holding his increasingly beating heart, as if the prolonged hand would keep Detective Inspector from charging at him, his hand serving as a shield from his growing frustration. Harold grew petrified by the fury in Detective Inspector’s dark eyes. He wished Nellie was with him, but then again, he wouldn’t want to get her involved, being on the receiving end of Detective Inspector’s furious eyes and his fuming nostrils.
“Mr. Asinus, I am warning you -” Detective Inspector said, pointing an aggressive finger at Harold. He didn’t finish his thought however, which made Harold only more anxious. He would rather know what the warning entitled so he could prepare himself for it, because this vague, unfinished warning only made Harold’s mind turn onto itself, filling up the blank space with his own ideas, some of them including rats and his head in a cage. Shivers ran all over his body.
Detective Inspector straightened his back and pinched the bridge of his nose. Assuming a new role, Detective Inspector drew his hands down his face and took the deepest breath he was capable of, unlocking a deep rooted memory of a yoga class he once upon a time attended on court order as a special training for his short nerves that ended up in most of the cases with shorter noses of the suspects he was interrogating. He couldn’t go through that again. The smile that replaced his curled up lip was, in Harold’s opinion, even more terrifying.
“Mr. Asinus,” Detective Inspector tried again, his voice ironed, “unfortunately, I cannot finish my thought since I would be highly eligible for a disciplinary hearing. I can’t even tell you that I am entertaining a thought that you are actually as dim witted as you present yourself to be.” Harold relaxed a little in his seat, his feet finding their firm footing on the floor, but the small proud smile on Harold’s lips caused Detective Inspector’s left eye to twitch. “It is unfortunate that our police force is obliged to follow the law and protocols when faced with the likes of you, Mr. Asinus, who break the law like hard candy -” In this last line Harold thought that he was finally presented with an opportunity to bond with Detective Inspector and debate with him on his choice of metaphor, so he felt the need to seize it.
“Hard candy is hard to bite, Detective. I actually broke my tooth biting on hard candy. Look, I’m still missing a bit of it here -,” Harold said, but felt himself growing small in Detective Inspector’s growing shadow as he towered over him. “Er, sorry, it’s a bit rude of me to interrupt.”
“You are bloody well lucky your barrister remembered that we can’t keep you here for more than we already have without charging you.”
“You are not charging me, then?” Harold said, the gleam in his eyes fighting with fire in Detective Inspector’s eyes.
“Not without concrete proof, Mr. Asinus,” Detective Inspector said through his teeth. “With your odds, I imagine if you start playing lottery today, you’d cash in.”
“Oh.” Harold averted his eyes, finding a spot on the table to focus on while he thought that Nellie wouldn’t be happy about the fact that he didn’t confirm he’d come home to dinner so she could prepare for it. His mind then jumped back to Detective Inspector’s words and wondered when exactly Harold called for a barrister, not knowing he had any. But he was too frightened to ask Detective Inspector about it, judging rightly it wasn’t the right time to interrupt him again.
“I assure you, Mr. Asinus, that I will find that proof and personally come get you when I do. Don’t leave the country,” Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr. said. He stared at Harold for a second longer before he turned to leave first. Harold stayed put for a moment longer after he was left alone in the interrogation room, his mind lingering on Detective Inspector’s pink shoes with tiny flamingos, unconventional for a member of a police force, but it wasn’t his place to judge. In the next second he snapped out of his trance and ran out before Detective Inspector changed his mind and locked him in. He thought him capable of it.
The blandness of the police station and the long corridors with numerous doors, with constant chatter and dull ringing of telephones echoing through, made him stop in his track to think back which way the exit was.
“Over here, Hal,” Nellie said, bringing instant joy and relief to Harold. He turned around and found Nellie standing at the end of the corridor on his right. She waved at him and bid him to come over. With Nellie never stopping to be his focal point, he tripped and nearly fell over a rugged looking man’s foot sitting outside one of the numerous rooms awaiting his turn to be in the hot chair. “Careful, Hal.”
Reaching Nellie’s open arms, Harold found solace in them. Being a head shorter than Harold, Nellie stood on tiptoe and caressed the back of his head while she had him in her safe arms.
“I almost flew over to you, Nellie,” Harold said, his lips stretched into a wide smile.
“I saw,” Nellie said, pulling away from the hug, her right hand sliding down Harold’s until their hands connected, fingers intertwined. “How did it go?” Harold shook himself, remembering the cold stares he caught from Detective Inspector Maddox Forbes Jr. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he annoyed Detective Inspector with his account of the incidents and he was saddened by it.
“I don’t think he likes me, Nellie,” Harold said, pouting. Nellie looked up at him, her love for Harold unmistakably present in her eyes.
“Don’t be silly.” Nellie patted his hand for reassurance.
“I really do think he doesn’t.” Nellie stopped walking and faced Harold.
“Hal, you are like pastry – too much of you and people get fed up.” Harold looked away in thought. He accepted Nellie’s words with a shrug of his brows.
“Still, I tried to tell him everything, but he just let me go – oh!” Harold said, losing himself in his own train of thoughts. “Do I have a barrister, Nellie?”
“Of course, dear.” Nellie pulled at Harold’s hand, leading him to turn the corner towards the exit.
“But who?” This was a fact Harold wished someone would have related to him sooner. Maybe then he would have seemed more likable to Detective Inspector and his innocence more obvious, Harold thought.
“Danny,” Nellie said.
“Your brother finished law school already? Since when?”
“He passed the bar exam last week,” Nellie said, the pride in her voice less present than in Harold’s. “Eighteen years is a longer time than you think, Hal.”
“I should congratulate him,” Harold said, his mind already moving on to a more pressing thing than his looming charges for murder of a couple of women.
“You’ll have the chance. I invited him over for tea over the weekend. You really should get over your case with him over biscuits.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
The feeling of his old self returned to Harold the moment they stepped foot out of the police station. He even invited the drizzling rain to fall over him, but his childish joy was short lived by Nellie’s overprotective nature. She opened up an umbrella and held it over them, pushing Harold by the shoulder gently to turn him in the direction of their silver Ford Fiesta Mk3.
Harold preferred Nellie driving, feeling happier looking carelessly out of the window, picking out Cavendish & Harvey wild berry drops from their metal casing.
“Seatbelt, dear,” Nellie said, looking over her shoulder before she eased out of the parking spot.
Harold was amazed how serious Nellie became when she sat down behind the wheel, always reminding him to put on his seatbelt, refusing to drive even after only one pint of beer, keeping up to the speed limit even on an empty road, keeping a decent distance from the car ahead of her on a busy road. He admired her for her discipline, but most of all, when it came to driving, he admired her for managing to start the car from the first try, never once stalling the car when starting the car on steeper roads. She was aware of everything on the road, ahead, behind and all around and everything going on in the car, even Harold’s soft looks for her filled with admiration and adoration, especially when she steered the car with one hand on the steering wheel around the bends and when reversing.
“Maybe we should stop at Tommy’s for dinner,” Harold proposed, reminded of his chief concern back in the interrogation room.
“No need. I prepared dinner,” Nellie said, relieving Harold’s heavy heart once again.
