Broken boys can’t love…..
Luke’s POV:
“Ugh…why do i need to go to a new school….? I hate it…” I get up from the bed and i start getting dressed, i am wearing a black top that goes with the black pants and a black oversized hoodie so that people dont know that i self harm and that i am skinny because of not eating, after i get dressed, i go downstairs to the kitchen because i can smell food, and i see my brother making pancakes “Hey brother! Your up early” i say with a fake smile. “Hey bro, i’m just cooking breakfast, do you want some?” I shake my head “No thank you brother, i already ate….” I say lying, hoping my brother doesn’t notice. “Alright then, if your sure that you’ve eaten, anyways, you excited to go to your new school? He says with a smile. “I guess so” he smiles and pats my head “it’s okay baby bro, no need to be nervous!” I roll my eyes and i get my stuff together. “I’ll meet you in the care asshole” my brother laughs and quickly finishes his pancakes before walking outside to the car. We he gets in and he drives me to school.
When we arrive, he kisses my head “We’re here, have fun at your first day of school and i will pick you up at 4” I get out of the car and i start to walk inside the school building going to the principal’s office. I arrive at the office and i knock on the door. “Come in!” I hear someone say. I open the door and walk in. “Hey, i’m here to get my time table” i say with a fake smile “Oh right! Here you go” he gives me the time table. “Thank you” i say with a fake amile once again. “What’s your name by the way?” He says smiling. “I’m Luke, nice to meet you” i say with a fake smile again. “Ah, Luke is a nice name! Anyways i’ll let you go find your class now, i will let your teacher know thag your on your way” he says picking up the phone to make a phone call. I head out and i look for my class. 10 minutes later, i finally find it and i’m anout to walk in but I hesitate as i suddenly feel my panic attack going through the roof. I quickly calm down and i walk in. The teacher stops what he is doing and looks at me. “Ah, your Luke right? I’m Michael, it’s nice to meet you!” He says with a bright smile. “It-it’s nice to meet you too micheal….” I stay quiet hoping Michael can speak up. “Go sit over there behind the pink guy next to the window” i go over to the pink guy and i sit in an empty chair.
In the middle of class, I barely pay attention as negative thoughts keep running through my mind. As Michael turns around so that he can talk to his students, he notices Luke not paying attention. “Luke, you paying attention?” I don’t answer and he begins to notice that something could be wrong. “Okay class! You can go for lunch early!” The class immediately go for lunch as they celebrate, except for the pink haired guy “you not going for lunch matthew?” Michael asks and Matthew shakes his head “no, there’s something wrong with this guy and i wanna help, nesides i’m stuck since he’s in the way” mattnew says giggling a bit. And i am still in a day dream with the negative thoughts running around. Matthew gently shake my shoulders. “Hey dude, you okay?” He asks but i still don’t reply. “It’s okay matthew, just give him a minute and he will come bavk again” matthew and Michael have been waiting for 4 minutes and i finally come back around again noticing that the students have already left. “Class is finished already?” I say confused. “Luke, is something wrong?” Michael says worried. “No, nothing is wrong” i say with a fake smile. Luke, no need to pretend to fake smile….i can tell” i look at him shocked. Damn he’s different…. I think in my head. “I gotta go, i’ll see you around!” I quickly gather my stuff and i run out of the door.
Meanwhile with Matthew and Michael. “Matthew, can you keep an eye on Luke! He’s not telling me something and i know what is wrong sith him” he says worried. “Ofcourse Michael” Matthew gets up and goes out of the classroom to find me. Matthew arrives at the toilets and goes in, as he walks in, he sees me curled in a ball as i sob uncontrollably, Matthew rushes back to the class to see Michael. He spots Michael doing his paperwork. “Michael! I need some help with Luke in the toilets!” He says worriedly. “Huh? What’s wrong matthew?” Michael says confuses. “Come and have a look and you will find out….” The both boys walk to the toilets and they walk in, they both see curled up in a ball crying uncontrollably. Michael looks at me in shock and he walks closer to me careful not to startle me. He bends down and slowly hugs me careful not to hurt him. “Shhhhhh…..Luke, when i first saw you walk in my classroom, i knew that there was something wrong with you…..not in a bad way tho, i just wanna help you….but you have to meet me half way, can you do that for me?” He says truthfully. I don’t speak, but i finally calm down. “You okay now Luke? Or do you need a minute? He says worried. I-i’m okay…..sorry…i didn’t want you to see me like this….” I say my voice trembling. “It’s okay Luke, no need to apologise for feeling overwhelmed….but your okay now and thats all that matters” he says smiling. “Now let’s wipe those tears and go for lunch okay…?” He helps me up and walks me to the cafeteria.
we walk to lunch and we walk into the cafeteria, Michael sits me down at the table. “Do you want anything to eat Luke?” He says. “No thanks….i’m not hungry….” I say lying. Michael can tell that i’m lying but he doesnt push the issue. “Okay, well do you at least want a drink!” He says hoping i say yes. “Sure…” i say as i look down, he gets up and walks over to get a drink for me then comes back over to me and passes me it. “Thanks….” I say looking down. “Hey…..can i ask you a question?” Michael says and i nod. “Umm…..i’m not trying to interfere in your life but……are you okay…? Like are you mentally and emotionally okay?” He says. I hesitate and I slowly nod. “You know, you don’t have to lie to me, you can tell me anything and i will keep it a secret…..i know your not okay and i want to help you Luke…..” he says worried. I look at him in shock “I-i uhhh…..” I suddenly can’t speak. “It’s okay Luke, i know you feel scared because you don't know me very well but trust me, i am a nice person" he says with a smile. I stay quiet and look down as i fiddle with my fingers. I grab my stuff and i run out of the cafeteria, I stop and i quickly grab my phone and i call my brother. "Brother....pick me up please....." i say in an shakey voice. "It's not 4 yet, you only have 2 hours left baby bro...." he says confused. "I know but please....i'm so scared....." i say as i start to cry. "Okay baby bro, don't cry and i will be on my way, stay calm" he says as he gets his car keys and goes to walk towards his car.
He arrives at my school and he gets out of the car and walks inside the building. He arrives at my class and he knocks on the door. “Come in” Michael says and i walk in “how can i help you?” Michael says confused. “I’m here for luke” My brother says looking around but i’m not here. “He’s not here yet and he’s supposed to be here but he’s not” Michael says. “He told me to come pick him up cause he said that he was scared but i don’t know what” He says worried. “He did….? You do know that he is not allowed to do that without the teacher’s content right?” Michael says. “I know but i got worried and he said he was acared” he says worried. “Alright, i’ll let him off the hook this one time but make sure he doesn’t do it again next time without our content” my brother nods and he goes out to look for me. He arrives at the toilets and he goes in and sees me sobbing on the floor. “Baby bro…..don’t cry….i’m here now, lets go home” he helps me up and we walk outside the toilets and we walk outside the building walking towards our car. I get in and my brother gets in the front seat and starts driving to our house.
We arrive to the house and i get out of the car and walk straight in my bedroom when we got in the house, my brother looks at me confused as i walk up the stair towards my bedroom. “luke?” I don’t answer and i shut my bedroom door behind me, i walk to my bed and i lie down thinking about what Michael said at school. I suddenly burst out crying hoping my brother doesn’t hear. 5 minutes later, I hear a knock on the door and i wipe my tears before I answer it. I open my bedroom door and My brother is there. “We need to talk Luke” i nod and open the door wide to let my brother in and we both sit on the bed. “I noticed that you’ve bern getting upset every day, i’ve never seen you happy like i used too and it’s about time you tell me what it is” he says as he tries not to cry. I take a deep breath before i speak. “Okay fine…..i-i have depression and anxiety….i am also suicidal and i self harm….” I tell him everything and at the end of our conversation, my brother suddenly hugs me tightly as he sobs. “I am so fucking sorry Luke, I didn’t realised that you were this bad….i am such a bad brother….” He says sobbing. “No you are not….you are not a bad brother…..i am….i am a bad brother for not telling you, i should’ve trusted you….i’m so sorry….” I start to sob. “Listen Luke, you need help….i know you might not like it but maybe you shoulf tell your teacher….or someone you trust….not just me” i think for a moment. “Okay fine….but can you tell Michael….? Because if i tell him, i’ll start crying and I don’t think i’ll ever stop” he nods. “Of course baby bro, i love you” i giggle a bit. “I love you too Leon…”
