What is your opinion?
Review
"You have done a great job so far. I am absolutely hooked up. The plot is amazing and I love how it progresses. One thing I would like to comment on is your style. I love how you explain the surroundings and emotions of a character but bro, making a paragraphs is a game changer Keep up the good work. "
An intriguing start, but it needs work.
" Aiden presents a fresh take on horror, stealing readers away into a fantasy world of horrors created by the broken mind of the awkward loner, Silas. His best friend Odin finds himself trapped in this world, deemed the hero, as spends much of his time taking orders from a monster-turned-pet-bat. Pros- -A twisted wonderland where monsters home free outside of the barrier. -vivid descriptions of new characters and locations. - a blend of horror, fantasy and comedy. Cons- -flawed sentence structure and alternating from from 1st to 3rd person within the same paragraph take readers out of the story. -the long paragraphs make the story hard to keep reading (please break them up into smaller chunks). -main characters are lacking development and need to be fleshed out so readers have a reason to care about them. -Chapters 5&6 seemed to drag on because of all the “telling” and not enough “showing”. Instead of telling us what this strange new world and its monsters look like, show us through detailed descriptions. Avoid the repetitive use of “it was…” or “He was….”. -Little to no dialogue and when it is present it doesn’t feel natural. "
