Chapter 1 Sunsets and Scribbles
What would you do if you had the chance to change your fate? What would you do if you could solve any problem? What if your world was a whole of magic? Would you embrace and encourage its growth or drain its power for your own? What if everything burned at your touch… And what if you hurt everything and everyone you know?
Chapter 1
Sunsets and Scribbles
Don't worry about me, I'm fine, but you're not about to be. It started like this: a note and the end of the world. It’s not what you think; this isn't a love story. It's a story of souls being ripped apart, hearts being broken, and a death that will forever haunt me. “Think of it like this: I'm a normal girl in a normal world with a normal life,” is what I would say, but honestly, I'm not even a girl; I'm a guy, and this world is the definition of hell and my life. Well, that's what you're about to find out. So think of it as if I will make you wish you had never read this story. So, where do we start? How about three years ago, a sad, lonely girl wanting attention slipped a note in a box. What she didn't know was the kind of attention she would receive was the worst kind a person could get. She knew what she got herself into, she knew she wouldn't last long, she knew they were a bad person. She craved attention so severely that she would take it from just about anyone. My parents never loved me, and I wasn't like other girls I liked “boy colors” or “boy things,” whatever the fuck that means. I played along with everyone, like a shapeshifter shifting for different people. In a world entire of chaos and hate, you'd expect people to act like five-year-olds fighting over every damn thing, but no, everyone judges you, everyone hates you, and everyone cares about nothing but themself. People get along with others if one they are alike or two one changes themself for the other. You can almost forget who you are and why you're here when you shift so much. That girl never saw this coming and never knew she would forget who she was. If she knew what was coming for her, she would never have taken that glass to her wrist, never written that note, and never trusted HIM. Ok, back to the present, let's go back 2-3 years ago when this shit show started. And Action.
It’s all like one big bad dream. Living in a world with so much fire, sorrow, and hate will eventually get to your head, and you’ll become one of them.I’m not like most. Fire doesn't hurt; sorrow is out of the question, and there is hate. oh, how much hate is in me? It almost gets to me. I’m a good actor but can’t act forever, so I had to learn the hard way.My name is Atlas. I’m 15, and I have no siblings or parents. I don’t know where I came from, a person, or even maybe a monster.I never realized how easily things could disappear. My town, people, and home are all gone in the blink of an eye. I woke to screams and fire everywhere. My once long green hair that I’ve always hated burned off to look like a dog that just had a bath. which I had to guess because I didn’t have a mirror.It took me a minute to realize I was on the ground in the middle of the town. I couldn’t remember barely anything.I was too shaken to move; I just sat there as it started to rain for hours. When all the screams ended, there was nothing, and nobody left, just me and me alone, sitting there soaking from the rain in my ripped clothes. Something felt off as if I was a different person. I was always taught not to say or even think of the word hate, that it was a sin that the world shouldn’t be described like that, but now all I have left in me is hate, hate for myself, and everything I have become. I waited to see if anyone was still alive, but there was nobody. I left the town and started heading north as far away as possible. At least, I think it was after a while, but I couldn’t tell which direction I was going. Soon, I found myself in a small village with few people. They welcomed me, but it felt off, and I started getting more aggressive when they brought me to their leader. I soon realized his name was Trav from one of the guards. “I see you’ve brought me a gift,” Trav says with a grin. “Our scouts found her wandering around the buildings.” The word “her” to describe me hurt like being stabbed in the chest. Trav finally stopped grinning and asked,” Who are you?” I couldn’t say anything, not after everything.``Ok, be that way. Guards lock her up.” Some of the guys behind me tied a rope around my hands, blindfolded me, and then dragged me down a flight of stairs to the lower floor. Once they took the blindfold, they pushed me into a cage, but my hands were still tied up, so I couldn't catch myself. When I turned my head, I saw that there were little drops of blood on the ground from my bloody nose, nothing I hadn't seen before. Then I looked up and saw nothing; nobody was just caged, almost as if they were prison cells for animals. The first day there was lonely and dark, but as soon as the sky turned black, I remembered who I was: a monster, a disgrace to humanity. Nothing I did would help me undo the curse. This deal was my foolish, self-made one, but I needed to lift my side of the bargain and deal with it. On the third day, I woke to two guards fighting over heaven and the sinners.They were both convinced that I was a demon from hell. Soon, I heard one say, “Shut it, she’s gonna wake up!” I didn't know how to feel or act, so I just did, and I did. I realized I started turning again, a tail forming. A long, skinny tail slowly slid over to the entrance where they were standing, and I stabbed them with the tip of my tail. It was like a sharp blade was made into the end of the tai., It pierced through their skulls, and I watched as the tip of my tail started ripping open.I watched as small, sharp teeth started growing out of the ripped areas of the tail. Blood dripped everywhere, so dark, light, and pretty my mouth began to drool. “No, no, no, no, not again, not again!” I quietly said to myself in panic. My body needed food, and I knew I tried so hard to stop myself, but it was too late.I realized I had blacked out, and as I looked around, all I saw was blood. Once I looked down, I saw it: the pile of bones and the two human skulls sitting at my feet. I could taste it, the blood, the blood of a man, the sharp teeth and fangs in my mouth. My hunger was finally satisfied. Where are they?” I heard a guard say, then seconds later, one opened the locked door leading to freedom, and they gasped in disbelief and horror. The one in a dark blue shirt sprayed water at me with something, and I hit my head on the wall and was knocked out cold. I woke up once again to two people standing at the entrance, and my hands were chained to the wood. Now I don’t think the guards realized I didn’t kill the men with my hands, that I’m a monster, I eat people. But there is warm red flesh and blood in their body just sitting there for someone to come and take it from them, protected by that fragile, fragile skin and bones. Their organs and hearts are so red and beautiful, just waiting for me to rip them apart and eat them whole. Shit, I realized I was doing it again, turning into that thing. I banged my head against my cell and blacked out.After a day or two, I woke to yell and the smell of smoke, but this time, it was different, like someone new set the fire. I was confused about how that thought made sense, but I quickly lost my thought when someone broke the door down, looked at me for a second, and then shoved me to the side, covering my mouth. “Quick, I think I saw him go that way.” As the sound of feet stomping against the wooden ground started to become quieter, he let go, and I soon realized that he had a mask on but covering only the top half of his face I got interrupted from my thoughts on him by the sound of his deep but soft voice “ Hay sorry about that are you ok I’m here to help” I looked at him terrified wondering if he knew, god only if he knew what I was. “I’m good,” I said, still with that terrified look. “You must have been through a lot, but you are free to go now,” he said with a blank face, looking in the opposite direction of me. “I-I don’t have-“ “anywhere to g.o” I look up at him, realizing how tall he is, and nod my head, embarrassed. “You can come with me if you want. We have shelter and food. Also, by the way, my name is Ash, short for Ashlyn.” He handed me a mask similar to his but blank with the number 584 and gray. Ash’s mask had cat ears, was green, and had a cat sticker with 583.Wear this until we get there so they know you're with me.” I took the mask and put it on."Here, follow me I’ll show you the way out,” Ash said, avoiding eye contact. I followed him outside, but the entire village was destroyed and burned to the ground while the remaining people ran into the forest.” Who the hell is this? They asked for more supplies, not another mouth to feed.” “Wel,l this is, um, I don’t think I recall asking, but what’s your name?” said As, looking at me curiously.I didn't know her at all. The words refused to come out, so I tugged on Ash’s arm sleeve, and he got down so his face was at the same level as mine, and I whispered so only he could hear me, “My name is Atlas.” He stood back up and said, “Ally, this is Atlas, Atlas, this is Ally.” I looked at her. She wasn’t much taller than me, but I felt odd. “How old are you anyway, 12?” “Hay, be nice to them,” Ash said I interrupted, “Actually, I’m 15.” After I said that, Ally and Ash looked at me. Ashh said, “Enough fighting. Let’s head back before everyone thinks we're dead or something.” Ally gave me a kind but fake smile as she walked past me, but I didn’t like that I didn’t like her. I had to deal with it if I wanted a place to stay for the night. We started walking into the woods for what seemed like hours. Not only that, but I was also starting to get flashes again from the other two worlds.There are three worlds, and they are all connected somehow. The first world, our world or, I guess, the world in which humankind took over, is the human world; the second I like to call the shadow. For the third world, I don't like or see very often that it was destroyed and was supposed to have no living thing on it. Maybe I'd see it once or twice a month, but I call it the World With The Morning Mask. For short, I call it The Mask. It's a very deadly and terrifying world. The world always seems pink and more colorful than the human world. The time never changes, but lurking in the parts of the world you would never think to check, there hide tall vampire-like creatures with all white fur and pitch black eyes. I soon passed out for a minute from the flashing lights that I knew only I could see.Hearing someone panic over you while trying to wake up isn't the best, but nothing that hasn't happened to me before.Once I was fully awake, I looked up at them from the ground, Ash’s worried eyes and Ally’s annoyed glare. Getting up expecting them to be mad about me wasting their time, Ally asked. “So what's your idea?” I walked past her, pretending not to hear her. Ash quickly tried to change the subject and said, “Anyway, we should get going; it's getting dark.” Ally glared at him and said, “Whatever, let's keep moving.” Once we got to their base or hideout, Ally left as soon as we entered, jumping onto a boy and making out with him, but Ash showed me to a room, saying that everyone had to share due to the lack of rooms.I was so exhausted that I just collapsed and fell asleep. I woke up this time and felt uneasy, but I'd never felt so weird. It was like I should apologize even though I never cared enough to apologize to anyone. I mean, like, I just collapsed and made him worry. Suddenly, I heard his voice by the door. “By the way, I never recall hearing your pronouns.” I waited a second.“He/him,” I said so quietly I thought he couldn't hear me. He smiled and left the room before I could say anything else. So there I was again by myself in a room I'd only discovered as the walls looked old, and I wasn't actually on a bed, mattress, or floor but a couch. The couch wasn't old; it looked somewhat new, considering we have no store for it. Anything in them might have something, but it’d be covered in dust. As I continued to examine the room, Ally walked in and handed me a pile of clothes “Here, just take the clothes and never speak to me again, got it?” Ally said with anger in her voice, confused. I took the clothes.As she was about to leave, she said, “I'd stay away from him and his sister if I were you” “But you, are not me,” I quickly snapped back at her without realizing. She looked at me, shocked I even said nothing to her, but she just left, slamming the door behind her in frustration. As I went back to examine the room, I noticed a small dark red notebook, and on the cover was a post-it note saying here is a book to draw, take notes, or anything else you want. In the corner of the post-it note said from Ash with a smiley face.I picked up the Post-it note and stuck it to the wall beside the couch. I started feeling something, though, anger rising in me. Terrified, I looked at a mirror behind me on the other side of the couch, seeing a long tail starting to form as my hands turned to unrealistic sharp claws, and my legs started forming into what looked like a dog's hind legs.Looking up, I saw my once human ears turn into a fox's tall, fluffy green ears. Horns that seemed like demons started growing out of the top of my head, then my eyes. They were the eyes of a monster, shaped like a killer, as wide and dangerous as a snake's fangs. Distracted from my transformation, I didn't even hear Ash walk in until I heard the door close. I panicked and slowly backed to the corner, but he calmly said, “I already knew. That's why I'm gonna be your roommate,” walking to the other corner of the small room, sitting on a mattress on the floor. Pulling out a pencil and a book similar to mine, he started drawing in i.t “Are you not scared of me? Disgusted even?” I said, looking at him. He walked over to me and whispered, “No.” He stood there for a second, backed up, and just looked me in the eyes with such a calm face like I was just a normal human. I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw that my tail was gone, and my arms and legs returned to their original human parts. My horns were still there, but you could barely see them, and my ears were still pointy. Ash smiled and gave me a bracelet. I stared at it and asked, “What's this for?” “It's a friendship bracelet.” Ash mumbled in a nervous voice. I looked at him and then looked back down at the bracelet and thought I should try to be his friend, at least. Bending down and tying it around my ankle. He looked at me and smiled, saying, “I promise not to tell anyone your secret… but you have to wear this” he handed me a necklace with a symbol that looked similar to the one of protection. I looked at him and yelled, “What the hell do you think this is going to do? Do you think this is going to make a difference? Nothing you do will stop me from turning into that .. that thing!” I looked at him, and he looked at me for a minute “ I'm not apologizing, but I've already tried this” he held out the necklace and calmly said, “And did anything else bad happen to you?’’ I looked aw, ay then grabbed the necklace and wrapped it around my ankle “What… are you doing?” Ash said, looking down at me concerned “I'm wearing it as an ankle bracelet,” I said without looking at him “I’m not big on necklaces,” trying not to panic, thinking I did something wrong, but Ash just looked at me and chuckled so soft that I could barely hear him. I got back up, grabbed the book and pencil, sat down, and started drawing the room, trying to pretend to be busy, so I don’t have to talk anymore. About an hour later. I heard this weird sound that was like a bell, and Ash stood up and said, “ok, let's go. They have the food ready, don’t forget to put on your mask” Once we got there, there were probably a little over 250 people all gathering in a room with some tables and food. “We don't have much food, so we have to share. Have the guards eat more so they can be ready for anything.” I looked at the ash. He looked as if he didn't want to eat anything anymore. “so… why do we have to wear these masks?” I asked him, watching all the other people hurry to get their share of the food. Ash looks at me and says, “We'll just say we have a code on our masks, but we have to decorate it, and whenever someone is suspicious or anything, we will make them draw the code of their mask.” I looked at him, then back at the people. ``would they know the code if it’s on the mask?” “Only a couple of people know it’s a code so that I wouldn’t worry.” I watched all the people sitting on the floor and in the corners eating their food like it was the last meal they were ever going to have, “so if only some people know about it then why’d you tell me” ash looked at me then said “the foods going to get cold you should probably eat” I looked at him. However, he was still more focused on the room than me, so I just said the only thing I knew how to say: “I’m not hungry; I don’t plan on socializing with anybody else here.” I walked back to the room. As I was about to sit on the couch, I saw ribbons, glue, beads, paint, and anything else an artist would go crazy over. Ash walked in, closing the door behind him, then realized I was looking at his art supplies and excitedly said, “Would you like to decorate your mask?” I looked at him and asked if he had any markers. He quickly went behind the couch and gave me a bag of markers. “Thanks.” I said, taking my mask off. He smiled, walked over to the mattress on the floor, and sat down, still looking at me. I looked at my mask for a good 10 minutes, then said I know exactly what I’m going to do I outlined everything, cut out the right eye hole into an almost circular shape, then added some sort of see-through fabric stuff to the inside where the eye hole was cut out I painted half the mask blue. The other half was black; the black side had little eyes painted on it, and the other side had nothing, just a normal mask but blue. I added cat ears and horns similar to the features I get when I turn into that thing.As I finished the last little details, Ash walked over and said in amazement, “Wow, you did that in under an hour.” I held up the mask and said, “Done! Finally” “I like it.” I looked at Ash and asked, “Why are you just standing there? Sit down.” Ash laughed and said, “As you wish.” We sat there for a while, talking about our masks.I was later reminded of what Ally said. “So I heard from Ally you had a sister” Ash looked at me and just said, “Yeah, I…she can be an ass sometimes, but she’s not all bad” “Well, that’s good to hear… I think.” We sat silently for a second, then Ash asked, “So what exactly happened?” I looked at him blankly and said, “What do you mean by that?” “I mean, what happened to make you like this? Just out of curiosity, you don’t have to say if you don’t want to.” I looked back down at my shoes. “It’s… it’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.” Ash looked up and leaned back against the couch. “Did you die and come back to haunt me!?” Ash said with an exaggerated face. I laughed, “Seriously? Way to change the mood for real!” We sat there and laughed for a minute. “Do you wanna see something cool?” I looked at Ash, confused and a little nervous about what he was discussing. “Um, if you're not gonna take out a knife and kill me, then sure, I guess?” Ash pulled out a pocket knife and threw it at the wall. “Well, not anymore, I guess” I looked at him. He looked at me. Ash got up, walked to the door, and turned around. “ Well, are you coming or not?” I got up and followed him out. We snuck out back into the woods. How beautiful they were. A leaf fell on me in the spring, and I had already chopped it in half with my claws, which formed almost instantly. Ash looked back at me, confused, seeing me in my fighting stance. “You good?” “Huh, oh yeah, in good, just startled by a stupid leaf.” he looked away, but I could hear him quietly laughing at me. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there.” I heard him start walking again, and I followed. About 10 minutes later, we got to a tree that looked 3x bigger than the other trees around it. Ash threw a small rock at a red dot on a board, and a rope ladder dropped from above us. Ash started climbing. “ya coming up.” I started climbing up after him. “What is this place?” Ash went and sat on a bench in the corner of the little room. “It’s my hideout, AKA my treehouse..” I looked around, and it looked like maybe a ten by 10 foot perimeter. “Oh, also, since it’s on a cliff, we have an amazing view from this window. You can see the whole world from here!” I looked at him and chuckled, then walked over. “Yeah, keep dreaming.” I patted him on the back and saw he made a face at me, but I didn’t care. “Did you build this or something?” “Yeah, why?” He looks over at me. “Well, it says built by Ash. I wonder who that could be.” looking over at him to see his face flushed, instantly remembering that the sky was turning dark. “Hay, um… should we head back? It’s getting dark.” Ash looks at me, then looks back outside. “Oh yeah, I didn’t even realize how dark it was, but we should probably get back.” We had climbed down when I had fainted. I opened my eyes for a second, seeing ash carrying me. I passed out again. Walking up, I realized I was back at the base. I turned to see Ash sleeping with his head down on the side of the couch. I jumped a little, realizing it was just him. I quietly shifted my body to face him, and he had a little cut on his finger. I almost instantly smelled the dried blood on his hand. I had blacked out, waking up to ash sitting in a chair
“you're awake. You're not gonna start licking my hand again, are you?” I quickly pulled myself up
“I did what?!” Ash looked at me, confused and tired.
“ I woke up to you liking my hand, but were your eyes black?”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I get a little weird around blood… anyway, are you ok? I didn’t hurt you too badly, did I?” Ash tried holding back a laugh. I looked at him. “What are you laughing at?!”
He went over to his mattress on the floor and back over to me “Here’s a brush, you have pretty wild bed hair” I took the brush and looked at him for a few minutes, then realized what he meant. I quickly tried brushing my hair but got it more tangled. “You need help? or a haircut?” I looked at him “Well, I could use a haircut… or both '' Ash left the room for a few minutes, then returned with a box of supplies that looked like shampoo, hair brushes, etc. Ash pulled over a chair and “sat here I’ll cut your hair for you real quick” I climbed out of the warmth of the couch and sat in the chair “just want a cut or anything else'' ash said as he was looking through the box “um… do you have any black hair dye?” Ash pulled out hair dye and something else. “Ready?” “Yeah,” Ash started cutting. I saw the small stripes of hair falling onto the floor. I closed my eyes to rest them. I had fallen asleep and woke up to Ash taking his gloves off “Okay all you have to do now is rinse it” I looked up at him as he handed me a small bottle that I later realized said Anti-Fade colors he handed me another pair of clothes “you can borrow my close for now, um follow me I’ll show you to the shower rooms” we walked through about 7 different rooms before coming to a door that said “Shower” I looked up at ash seeing that he was already looking at me “I forgot to tell you that a person or two has to wait outside of the shower room while someone in using it due to… past things that have happened, so I’ll be waiting out here for you are ok” I looked back at the door “okay” I walked in and closed the door behind me. Seeing as there was a small shelf built into the wall to put clothes on and a basket with a note saying, “Laundry in here unless your name is Ash, then you can go wash your damn laundry,” I quietly laughed, turning on the shower and remembering the rain from that day.I finished and started putting on the clothes that were a little too big for me, but it was fine. Walking out to see Ash talking to another person with blond hair and a purple mask with a Xe/Xem pronouns pin on it Ash saw me and waved me over “Hay Atlas this is Elle xe is in charge of the food and also has some difficulty speaking English, Elle this is Atlas he is new and is just getting used to the place” Elle pulled out a Twix from xer pocket and handed it to me “here take” I took the candy noticing xe had an accent “also Elle is British by the way, he came overseas before everything happened but never got to return home” We headed back to our room to our beds. Laying there trying to remember what it was like before everything, but all I could remember was the white room, a woman selling me to those people, being given away, in a truck going to America, looking at the news seeing the outbreak of the disease watching all those people being slaughtered by those creatures I helped create… no… that they created not me, I was used against my will. Looking into the eyes of one of those creatures, the white no pupil is just white, the fur as black as the deep with spots of white on the back. Like needles as thick as a pencil, sticking out of its back down its spine onto the end of its tail, seeing the tails as short, and some as long as 7 feet. Those things… are nothing like me… I’m nothing like them. I never was, and I’ll never be. I woke to Elle knocking on the door, realizing my hands had claws again, panicking. I jumped behind the couch until Ash opened the door “Hay, all good, el?” “Mhm, and party later” Elle looked behind Ash to see me peeking my head out from behind the couch “Food?” Elle said, holding up a cupcake and pointing at me. Ash looked back and sighed “Thanks, El, I’ll make sure to give this to him” Elle waved and walked away. Ash closed the door and approached me, helping me from behind the couch. Seeing that my hands were normal, Ash said, “ Here’s a cupcake from Elle. Xe loves to bake as well. One of xe’s many nicknames is Cupcake Person because that was the first thing xe made us when xe joined'' I took the cupcake. There was a little drawing of a purple cat in the frosting ash sat down on his mattress “Tell xem I said thanks, also what about a party?” Ash quickly looked back up at me “No, you're not going” “What?! Why?” I set the cupcake down “It could be dangerous, ya know, those kinda things get people killed by those monsters, or it could get you killed by both of them!” The door slowly opened, and El stood there with xer hand on the door. “EL! It’s not what you think!… we weren't, they weren't… it’s not!” El stepped into the room, closing the door completely, hearing the click of the door fully shut “I knew, I suspected you were one of the test subjects, I have no intention of hurting you, but I don’t know if this is a place you should be, there is a limit to how supportive people in this world can be.” I looked up at El seeing xem with a blank face, though I could only see half xer face. I noticed something wet go down my cheek like a drop of water, but it was torn, falling down my face I smiled “Thank you, El'' I whispered so quietly that I thought xe wouldn’t hear. Xe nodded, walking back out of the room. “By the way, make sure you close the door next time.
Like I said, this story is going to be bad, not some fairytale about love and all that shit because I don't want that, I don't need that, what I need is something more than this. I need someone here for me. I need someone to be happy that I exist, to have someone tell me my real name, to have someone say my real pronouns and not have to be reminded, but, no, I get this shit, stuck being called “that name” being misgendered and all that fun stuff. I don't like my life, but I guess I'll just have to deal with it; well, it's like they say, “Kill yourself or deal with it,” and I guess I’ll just deal with it, but what if there was a third option? Make. Them. Suffer. And done, the plan is a go. We all have felt this way at some time in our lives. Well, I've felt this way my whole life. I know you're probably thinking, “What a horrible person you must be!” well, yeah, obviously, because in this world and even yours, there is death, heartbreak, traumatizing things, and no one gives a fuck about your wishes and dreams. Because then again, no one can see the world for what it is, only those who have suffered the most and are balancing on the edge, not me. I'm not on the edge of the surface… I'm in the ocean, somewhere deep, suffocating slowly till I use my last breath. However, one day, I hope someone can look over it and see it.
