I didn't do it.
“Well?! Who did it?”
Crouching down against the corner of the wall.
Hugging myself. Choking back my own sobs.
If you asked me where it all went downhill, this would be the first memory that would pop up.
Though I can remember earlier.
But let’s start at the age of 6
“Look at him! You look guilty.”
I looked up. The monster standing in front of me. Who claims to love me.
Guilty? What?
How should I react then?
Should I take the ass beating quietly?
I did nothing wrong.
“Shone, please. Just say you did it.”
I looked at my brother, what is he saying?
He’s going through the same thing I am. He was damned near the same position I am, but against the bed.
But I didn’t do it. And even if I did. Is it really worth this punishment? Over something so small.
Why are they looking at me like that? As if this is all my fault.
“You think I like hitting y’all?”
Sobbing.
“Say something!”
I couldn’t form the words.
I could only feel the leather belt brought down on my back mercilessly.
I didn’t do it...
“I did it! I-I’m sorry. Stop! Please, dad!”
But...
I want my mom.
....
But I didn’t do it.
My brother was shoved out the room.
I had to bear this unjust punishment for another 30 minutes.
Each whip felt like it was being branded on my skin.
Moving my arms to cover my bottom or back only resulted in my arms getting hit, which would piss him off even more. And he’d hit me harder.
“Shut up!”
“Stop moving!”
“Turn around!”
“Keep doing that and it’s going to last longer!”
I thought I was going to die.
....
“It wasn’t even a big deal.”
Well no shi-
“What pissed me off is when you lie. You hear me?!”
Is that supposed to be an excuse?
“That’s why you got your ass whooped. Ok?”
I nodded. My only response was “Yes.”
...
My brother got treats and an ice pack.
I had to scrub the wall of the ink that I didn’t do.
Stupid right?
All because of some colors on the wall.
I wasn’t mad.
Not at my brother at least.
I took responsibility to hopefully end the punishment sooner.
But what I didn’t know at the time
was that things would only get worse.
