In my comfort zone.
Did you ever feel enough in a place where the existence is convincing it's not enough?
If not then maybe yes you are living in a comfort zone and perhaps you should start to explore and embrace the inner self that lies within you from the day you were born.
Just like me, an eighteen girl who used to think that being okay was the only stage of life we could ever be gifted and the whole universe would revolve at that point.
I used to study at a school called Intelligent Girls A.K.A IG school which was only for girls, with female teachers, female cleaners, and even a female principal. Yes, that sounds comfortable but my comfortability hinders me from seeing the good that stands in front of me.
There were a lot of schools that I rejected and If I was asked the reason why, I would say with a lot of confidence that my school was the best. Well, you might not see that as a problem but actually, it is.
My comfortability in IG was because no boys could see me or call me ugly or reject me. Because I believed that I was worthless to be loved even though my schoolmates had different mindsets they had their boyfriends out of school and sometimes I overheard them telling each other how bad-mouthing boys talk about them(behind their back) that made me settle down and anxious.
When I got in my house I would never want to go out just locked up in my room, even if my family was going out I would refuse to join. I didn't want my schoolmates to see me because I believed that I dressed ugly and my parent bought me out-fashioned dresses.
So it goes like this until my graduation day, the only day where the genders mixed up. To me this sounds like a tragedy, If it were not for Madam Fatima who told Mom the date of Graduation I would let it pass without telling them.
Mom didn't want my graduation day to pass she even asked Dad to scold me so that I could attend and all I got to say was that I don't want to attend because I don't like to mingle.
You must be thinking that I am an introvert but no, that was social anxiety and insecurity.
While my classmates excitedly planned this great day all I think was people's faces after I fell off the stage.
I was thinking about what lies should I bring up at home, should I say that the graduation was canceled or postponed or sick but again all those reasons my parents would have a solution.
Staying in my room all night scrolling on my laptop I found words of wisdom, at last, I found redemption but just after listening to the words of wisdom, I would be ok.
Until I heard a story of a girl who hid the best moment of his life and regretted it when her parents passed away that made me feel guilty seeing them excited for my occasion.
So yes I dropped it all out and felt the fun.
Motivations from different people really helped me to get out of my comfort zone, In fact, all the things that I was scared of from happening they didn't.
My Mom could not believe that I didn't reject the scholarship offered by Maximum Development International School a school for wealthy kids I accepted the offer without stammering or my parents pressure. They were so proud of me and yes I felt better and ready to learn.
