Me myself and I
The new year is always filled with those bright fireworks and lots of food, people sitting around the table eating sharing their new year resolutions. Everyone has a big smile while with family and friends, the sound of the rolling dice and that sounds of forks hitting the white and gold plates.
I see new years as a lot of people exiting to experience the new year to come, mut for me it makes me feel like I have made no progress in/with myself. Me and my parents go to a friends house, we watch movies and laugh. But while we all laugh I think about how my laugh will never be real.
The Tv having all the loud yells and bright lights, it reminds me of all the yells and red with blue lights at my mother’s house. The people hitting their game prices on the table when they lose remind me when my step-father what throwing items twords the wall trying to scare us all.
The new year reminds me of how every year I hope and wish that this year will be better, that maybe my dad and step-mother will finally get full custody over me to keep me safe, I hope and pray that the panic attacks will go away, that the hard thoughts will just disappear. But will it ever go away? Will everything ever get better?
