That Baby
Many evenings were the same as that first one with baby Sebet.
Sebastian and Elsabet often shared a bed, to put Sebet between them. Clutching her little fingers and stroking her soft blonde hair.
Sebastian had been hopeful that they could now come to terms since Elsabet had agreed that it would be safest for Sebet to remain in WaterRose for safety after the Cimmerii had attacked. Ripping Elsabet’s back open and jeopardizing her unborn child.
It was only Chavias’s unexpected arrival as the white dragon, that had saved Elsabet from that horrible fate. Despite the best efforts of Sebastian and the rest of the Forever Knights, including their alpha.
Radix had sent an army.
Sebastian felt like he should’ve expected that, but he had only wanted to take Elsabet out of the castle walls for a walk.
But she’d hardly spoken a word to him since. As if she already regretted it.
Or it causes her that much pain to submit to being a resident of WaterRose indefinitely.
Sebastian looked at the beautiful faces of his girls.
He offered Elsabet his hand.
But she only blinked dully at him.
Take it Elsabet. He hoped. I’d give you everything if you’d let me…
His joy at having them there was tempered by her sorrow.
She gave him an unreadable look and put her hand in his for a quick squeeze.
But just as fast she stood, sliding it from his grip as she rose.
He let her hand slip away, feeling the loss of her soft fingertips as he watched her. She collected the baby in her arms, making Sebastian’s finger sliding from Sebet’s grip.
Sebet whimpered and Elsabet quietly murmured to her. Leaving the room and aiming for the stairs.
She’s leaving me? For a heart stopping moment he thought she’d changed her mind and was going to walk out the front door with their daughter.
But as she reached the bottom of the steps, she took a right and went into the library.
“Elsabet?” He called from the top of the steps. Not understanding why she was once again, avoiding him.
She paused in the doorway, poking her head out to look up at him. “It’s not your fault I’m unhappy Sebastian. I just need time to come to terms with my circumstances.”
“Can I help?” He offered. Wanting very much to be included in that process.
“The most you can do is give me time.”
His chest tightened and his expression wiped of emotion. “Okay. I will.”
Though his heart instantly ached. “May I still have time with Sebet.”
She dipped her head in a nod. “As you wish.”
He blew a relieved breath at that concession.
That’s the most important thing right now.
He very much wanted to be part of her little life.
I don’t want to lose her even if Elsabet resents me forever for bringing her here in the first place.
He’d held so much hope for them, because they’d been so close in those moments before the birth, and the short time afterward. But since she’d told him they’d have to stay…Her emotions had burned.
He returned to his chamber, sitting in the wood chair he kept in the corner near the window slit. He dropped into it and stared out at the rainbows of dancing water pouring over the bailey. They shielded the stronghold from winds and snow. Though it remained cold when fires didn’t burn.
At least, that’s what Elsabet had told him. Sebastian rarely felt temperatures.
Save for the warmth of her touch.
As he sat there, his mind wandered, and he found himself listening through the floors and walls to the steadiness of their heartbeats. One grown and methodic. One young and thudding like drumroll.
He dropped his elbows atop his knees and covered his mouth to keep the emotion at bay as he realized the truth. I’m no closer to them now, then I was months ago.
Before Sebet was born and before Elsabet had agreed to stay in WaterRose.
It was an agonizing reality.
Sebastian thought to write in his journal to ease the heaviness hanging over him. Instead he found himself flipping through old pages. Reading of his journey with Elsabet.
The entry just before Chavias had shown him the image of Radix saying that he wanted to hunt for Elsabet and bring her back, caught his attention.
If only I could take what’s given, and just be satisfied. If only I could let go of the idea of her by my side forever.
It was a foolish dream. Keeping her here is only making her soul scream.
If I could let sleeping cats lie and let her go. Steal the time I have left and let her run as the rivers flow. Down Meadow Mountain and away from WaterRose. Understanding that it’s just her way to go…
Let this elaborate game come to an end, I should fold. More than once, I’ve been told.
Let my little bird fly.
But I don’t have it in me. Not yet…Though I know not why…
Sebastian spent every waking hour he could, with his daughter in his arms. Trying to let his mate recuperate from the exertions of labor.
Elsabet was sleeping when the baby began fussing. He heard it from his chamber and rushed over to sweep the infant from the bassinet next to her mother. Scooping her into his arms before she could utter that first cry that would’ve awakened her mother.
He was unaware that as he exited the room, Elsabet’s eyes opened and watched him going. Cooing to the precious baby as he rocked her.
Sebastian went downstairs and tenderly sat in his library chair. Shifting until he was comfortable.
“What are you doing?” He asked teasingly nuzzling her before lifting her up in-front of him. “Why you trying to wake your tired mama?”
She gave a soft giggle. As if her plan had been purposeful.
“Such a naughty baby.” He whispered. Shaking a playful finger at her.
She reached out and clutched it. Her grip surprisingly strong as she giggled again.
It was such a unique sensation to feel her itty-bitty fingers wrapping his. It was almost awestriking.
A fortnight of silence had passed since Sebet had come into the world.
True to her word, Elsabet had allowed him all the time he wanted with the little one. Though it never felt like enough. He craved time with the baby.
Finding himself waking from his Knight’s Sleep with her face already on his mind.
He gazed down at the silver curls which hung softly along Sebet’s round cheeks. She looks so much like her beautiful mother…
He found it ironic that there had been so many women over the years that would’ve yearned to have a little one with him. Yet it was this, remarkable, beautiful, impossible woman that would bring that miracle to life.
The one woman I want forever.
That hope now seemed more unrealistic than it ever had.
If she doesn’t wish for a family with me, not even now, she never will. It was a cold thought. One that broke his heart more by the day. Still, he couldn’t temper his desire for her.
“You look natural with a baby in your arms…Who would’ve thought.”
Sebastian looked up and saw the mirror face of his twin.
“Alazareth.” He greeted. “What brings you here?”
“Other than the desire to see my niece?” He asked. Drawing close enough to peer over Bast’s shoulder. He reached down and moved the blanket with one finger to get a better look at the tiny girl.
Sebet blinked wide eyes up at him. Luring him in with a look.
“She’s absolutely mesmerizing.” There was a rare smile to Alazar’s voice.
He’s usually too focused for smiles to ever touch his face. Bast thought ruefully.
“Yes. What’s the other reason?”
“I came to see how you’re faring.” Alazar plunked down in Bast’s blue chair.
“I am blissfully happy with this little one here.”
“And her mama?”
“She’s not as happy with me, though she’s all about little Sebet, here.”
“Why is she unhappy with you.”
“I’m not certain what I’ve done. I think perhaps it is only sorrow for her captivity.”
Alazareth sat forward. “You have her leashed again?”
“She requested that I keep Sebet safe.” He explained. “She is part of Sebet’s world too. And with my leash is my protection. I can feel their movements, sense any injuries and help keep them safe.”
“Does she know?”
“I think so. She hasn’t objected.”
“Do you think she planned to leave you and the baby?”
“No, she said she could not.”
“You believe her?”
“She is not one to lie. I always believe her.”
Alazareth grunted. Nodding his head at that. “You’re probably right.”
There was silence between them for a moment before Alazar broke it. “Why do you suppose Chavias came?”
“I’d like to think he just wanted to see her…And maybe us too.”
“He’s been killing us.”
“But we don’t know why, Alazareth.”
“Don’t let your fondness get in the way of your sense.”
“I can’t stop believing in him, even if the rest of you have.”
“Believe me, Bast.” Alazar said severely. “If there was reason to, I’d appreciate doing so as much as you do.”
“But?”
“You know what the ‘but’ is! He’s a murderer. Radix’s most prized warlord. How can you forgive that?”
“I don’t forgive it. I merely seek to understand it.”
“Don’t chastise me for loving him as I do you. That’s not fair.”
Alazareth sighed. “I suppose you’re right. You are who you are. There’s no changing that now.”
Bast gave a cold laugh. “I sense that is not a compliment.”
“Mmm.” Alazar tilted his head grudgingly. “Take it how you want.”
“Let me see that baby before I go.” Alazareth held out his arms.
