Puppy Love

Lia ///*

I pushed on the door, ten minutes past the original class time. The cold from the metal seeped deep into my hand, not doing much to ease the anxiousness in my stomach. I loved this town.

My Grandad’s words were the only things keeping me going. With the way the lecture hall was set up, everyone could see me, and I felt all of their gazes land on me the second my foot stepped into the room.

The old me might have loved this, to be the center of attention even in such a circumstance, but now I’d much rather prefer to sink into the floor and reappear in my seat. Or maybe I could have just come to school on time, and this would have all been avoided.

I did my best to focus on only a single pair of eyes, the professor’s. I was hoping to give him a small nod of apology and then sneak my way up the stairs without calling any more attention to myself or disrupting the class further.

It seemed he had a completely different idea.

“You, who has no regard for the principles of time and space.” His pointer stick went towards me. From above the tip, I could see his eyes narrowing with one of his brows peaked.

The tone of his voice reminded me distinctly of the way the weird, older relative spoke in that one movie called Unfortunate Events or something. Olaf, I think his name was.

It instantly brought me back to the times I’d watch it with my Grandad growing up. And in this awkward exchange of glances between him and me, I came to realize the type of professor I was going to be stuck with for the rest of the semester.

“Why is it that you believe my class is something you don’t need to arrive on time to?” His stick tapped onto the floor.

I just stared at him, not really sure what was going on right now. It was like all the ways my anxiety would have predicted this moment happening were becoming the best-case scenarios.

Fortunately, I had learned to hold my expression very well, because if I hadn’t, then I’d probably be giving him a very telling one. Not only was his way of speaking a shock, but I didn’t think professors at this level still cared about trivial things like showing up late. Nor did I think someone as old as him would put on an act like this.

“I’m sorry, I slept through my alarm.” The lie jumped onto my tongue quicker than the truth did. A whole class of randoms didn’t need to know my personal life. He didn’t either.

What I really wanted to do was backtrack out of this room, but I had made a promise. Not to mention, I needed this credit for my degree. All the other classes were closed, and now I can understand why this one wasn’t.

If telling them was an option, I’m not even sure how I would have gone about it. How was I supposed to tell them that the reason I was late was because I had to scrape and muster, whatever confidence was left, just to leave the apartment this morning?

And I had to take what was left of that already itty-bitty amount and use it to gain the courage to walk onto a campus after what happened to me the last time I did.

The laughing and the mocking, all the looks of disapproval. It’s funny, I used to think I didn’t care about what people thought about me. That was until I was actually at the other end of everyone’s opinions. And they weren’t good ones.

A heavy annoyance dropped both the professor’s eyebrows, and a visible pout curved his lips, too. Right as he was about to open his mouth and say something, the door creaked again. This time, a guy walked into the lecture hall.

I turned around, and my heart felt as though it sank lower in my chest. His features were similar to Jacob’s. While I couldn’t see anything more than his backside, the dark brown hair on his nape and the glimpse of a structured jawline were enough to make a flood of memories flash through my mind. I had to force myself to remember that whoever that was, was not him.

His statue was much taller than his, broader too. He had to have been an athlete or maybe a gym dude. But that assumption brought him even closer to Jacob’s persona, so I was going to choose to ignore it. He had on a backpack that matched the same black shade of his shirt. It seemed more empty than full. A pair of sweats and a backward cap.

From the looks of it, my lie might have been his truth. And from the way he entered back first, I figured he was also trying to sneak in, to no avail either.

His head slowly lowered my way. Our eyes locked for a moment, and I was only able to see the tired hazel before his eyes darted to the front of the class. Mine did too, relieved that he wasn’t looking at me anymore. That relief deepened when I realized the rest of his features weren’t at all similar.

“Yet another who thinks he has a higher value than my class.” The Professor’s voice grew even louder, but it was still as weird as before. “And this time it’s none other than Garrison, you as well have no regard for psychology.”.

I assumed Garrison went through the same thought process as I did after first hearing it. The whole class probably did. He stared at him for a minute with a loose smile.

“And what is your reasoning for bestowing us with your presence ten minutes late?” The stick went up again. “And it better be good.”

“Awe, man, it’s nothing too interesting.” Garrison stepped up next to me. His hand reached behind his head and tugged at his cap before rubbing at his neck. I noticed the faint scarring on his knuckles. “I just slept through my alarm.”

“Try again.” The stick went to me. “She already did that one.”

The longer I was down here with all the eyes on me, the more my body felt the need to fidget. First, the itch to bevel my foot, and then the urge to pick at my nails, that one I gave in to. My thumbnail scratched at the cuticle on my index finger. I just wanted to go to my seat. I just wanted to blend into the background. For no one to see me anymore.

As my nail dug deep enough for it to hurt, that small pain radiated through my body. It made me sad to realize that I wasn’t the same anymore. That the strong-willed girl who would have said something to him wasn’t coming back. And not a change of scenery, or change of city, or change of state could fix that.

Garrison’s gaze swiped to me. He quickly smiled at me before returning his attention forward. I didn’t know how to take that. What was happening that he felt the need to smile about?

His head slightly tilted, and a grin beamed its way to the professor. “Okay, you caught me.” His shoulders bounced up and his hands went into his pockets. “I was shitting.” He clicked his tongue and loudly exhaled. “I had something I shouldn’t have, and I’ve been on the can all morning.”

Most of the students in the class reacted with laughter. I could even feel myself wanting to laugh. A few of them called out to him.

One was a man in the front row. From his weight alone, he had to have played football. “It was that weird protein thing the nutritionists made us drink this morning. I had the shits too.”

“You both have no decency.” Another from the row behind him shook her head.

Garrison looked at them with an even bigger shrug. His smile never caved for even a moment. “I tried being discreet by lying, and he didn’t believe me.”

The professor cleared his throat. “Unclean and impure tongue like that is not permitted in my classroom.” He sighed. “And I think the time you two have wasted is more than enough. Go find a place to sit your bottoms.” He turned his head around and went to his desk. “And the two of you will be partners for the assignment due in a month. It’s in the Canvas.”

“Yes, Sir!” Garrison’s tone was chipper. He stepped past me, presumingly aiming for the empty seat next to the guy who called out to him earlier. There was a lingering scent of cologne in the air as I followed behind him up the stairs. He turned to the row, and I continued up to the only other open seat in the back of the class.

It was right next to the aisle, directly by a woman with big curls sized the same as her glasses. She looked at me as I pulled out the chair.

“Hi!” Her smile beamed almost as brightly as Garrison's did. There seemed to be a lot of happy people here, unlike my old school. Personalities like those were hard for me to deal with. Which might prove to be a problem for the plans I had to simply go to class and mind my business.

“My name is Josie.” The volume of her voice was barely above a whisper, but I could still hear the elasticity of it.

“Hello.” I offered a smaller smile as I sat down and scooted closer to the table. My tote bag landed in my lap, and my fingers started to unzip the opening. “My name is Lia.”

Her elbow slid closer to mine, her head following until I could smell the sweet scent of vanilla. “Are you new to the school?”

I looked at her and to the fact that her elbow was almost touching mine. I moved it without calling too much attention, distracting the motion by slipping my laptop out. “I am.”

“Ah, me too! I remember seeing you move in a couple of days ago.” Her hands clasped together before one of them leaped back out at me. “Not to be a creep or anything, I live in the same building as you and saw you walking in through my window. We are three doors down from each other. Who would have thought we’d have the same class too?”

“The odds are pretty slim unless we have the same major.”

“I’m a sports trainer.”

“Architecture.”

“So I guess it was pretty unlikely we’d have the same class.” She hummed a low tune and shrugged. “But, that just means that it’s fate then.”

I nodded with an even smaller smile to not seem rude. Even though it was also an attempt to end this small talk.

“Do you have any socials?” Her phone slid on the table. The case added to her frilly demeanor. The charm that dangled off had different beads lining a string, and at the very end, there was a bow. We exchanged one glance before both of them went back to the front.

“To those of you talking.” The professor tapped against the board. “Just know that I will not stop you, for you have the right to free will in this class, but you will reap the consequences throughout the year.”

This man was so weird, and this time I had someone who confirmed she was thinking the same. Josie turned back to me with a small, curved smile. From the strain, it was obvious she was still trying to be nice. I couldn’t help but lightly laugh in response.

And that’s why I needed her to stop interacting with me, because after being alone for so long, I was immediately coming to like her. It didn’t help that she was different from anyone I had met in San Francisco. And since she was new to the campus as well, she probably didn’t know that many people.

That made a small hope simmer that a relationship with her wouldn’t end the same way. My grandad would have probably told me to befriend her. Though I’d still be cautious, probably more for her sake than mine. I wouldn’t want her getting swept up in anything.

I grabbed a sticky note from my bag and placed it down. My fingers wiggled around for a pen somewhere at the bottom, and I wrote down my answer to the question she asked.

“I don’t have any social media.’

I stuck the note in front of her, and she read it before her hand gestured out for my pen. She took longer to write than I did.

“That’s weird, most people do. You must come from a strict family, but that’s okay! Give me your phone number then.”

I don’t know why I gave it to her, but I did.

“Okay! My phone number is this,,, just so when I text you, you know who it is.” There was a little heart emoji to end her sentence.

We had one last look of confirmation before the teacher started being weird again. He was going on some tangent about something. I wasn’t really sure what. I heard to bestow, then to all you unfortunate souls, and it just kept going from there.

I blocked him out, a habit I’ve grown pretty good at over the past year. My attention went to my laptop to attempt to find information about the partner project he mentioned earlier. It wasn’t difficult to locate. The module had PARTNER PROJECT #1 in bold font.

Relief settled when it wasn’t a presentation project, just a research one. We were to find three different psychological disorders and do some research on them by answering a set of questions. Then we had to find an example from the real world for each. Those examples could come from reports, books, articles, and magazines.

It was looking to be a time-consuming assignment until I read the word movie. He and I were definitely going to do that source of evidence. Because I didn’t feel like reading, nor did I think he did.

My elbow tapped onto the desk, my cheek digging into my knuckles. My ankle had started swaying from side to side. My sight found the back of his head.

Garrison, if I remember correctly. I had almost a perfect view. From the glimpse of his personality so far, he wasn’t too similar to Jacob. It seemed he was too nice, and now I wonder if it was an insincere nice.

Nice, popular, a jock, and the center of attention; that was all I needed to know to stay away from him. The fact that he looked like Jacob didn’t help his case. I’m sure there might have been more to his personality, but I wasn’t going to try and find out.

Any relationship between us was going to stay as superficial as possible. However, I would do my best to keep the conversation to a minimum if it wasn’t about the project.

By the end of class, I learned the Professor’s name, Mr. Agels. He managed to drag the lecture out for the whole ninety minutes. Somehow, finding a way to turn a fifteen-page syllabus that we could have read ourselves in ten minutes into a full class discussion. When he finally stopped talking, the sound of shuffling emerged in the room: zippers, papers, and chairs.

Josie stepped next to me before I could make an escape, and we picked up the topic of walking around school together to make me more accustomed to it. Well, she told me she had to take me, and it didn’t seem like I could refuse without being rude. I didn’t have it in my heart to be mean to someone with such pure intentions.

We were trying to find a time that worked for both of us, considering our class schedule. It was surprisingly difficult; our schedules almost perfectly opposed each other.

She had mainly morning classes, while I had chosen the later ones, hoping they’d have fewer people in them. Psychology was the only class I had that wasn’t past two. We both were free after this class, or at least until she had biology at 12:20.

As we were going down the stairs, I saw Garrison walking out of the classroom with his buddies. I suppose we would talk about the project on a different day, which I didn’t mind at all.

I could probably find his school email and communicate that way instead. If I could get us to do that only, it would make it easier to put some distance.

I felt a presence lean in closer to me. My head turned to Josie, and our eyes locked before they darted to my previous sight. “So how do you feel about having Garrison as your partner?”

“Normal.” I gave her a look. “Is he some special guy or something?”

“From the rumors I’ve heard, yeah, I think so.” She lipped a smile and eagerly nodded her head. “But, I’ve only talked to him once. I got here at the beginning of summer. In my second week here, I was struggling to find the head coach's office, and he helped me. He’s very friendly.”

“I could see that,” I said as I moved closer to the wall to avoid someone walking out of the row; she shifted too.

“I was telling this other girl in my class about it, and she filled me in on the juicy details about him. He’s a college sweetheart. Friendly and flirty to any and every girl. And almost all girls fall under his charm. I was getting swooned myself. His smile is very contagious.”

From the way he smiled at me, the title he held didn’t surprise me. But from that little piece of knowledge, now it really was for the best that I tried to limit my time with him.

We walked out of the door, and there he was standing in front of somebody with his hands in his pockets. His elbows were moving around as he spoke. A smile that seemed more genuine than the others I've seen today was on his face. I figured it was so, maybe not so much an insincere nice, but he did have different types of smiles.

The friend pointed at the two of us, and his eyes followed, the smile beaming along with it. From the way the sun gleamed on his face, enhancing the white of his teeth, it was even brighter. He waved goodbye to the friend and headed towards us. “Hey, Josie. You finding your way around the school better?”

“Yes.” She beamed a smile too from my other side, and it felt like I was getting seared from the positivity around me. I think I might have been too much of a bummer to be around these two.

His attention went to me. “He said that you were my project partner, right? I’ve never seen you before.”

“She’s new to college, too,” Josie answered for me, which might have been a good thing since anything I had to say might have come off as cold. “Her name’s Lia.”

“Okay, Lia.” His eyes and smile hopped back to me. “How’d you want to do this project thing? Maybe the library? Or I know this cafe.”

Him saying that got rid of the option to do it over email, though I was still going to give it my best shot. “I’ll email you.” I offered a dry, lippy smile and then adjusted the bag strap on my arm. I looked at Josie. “We’ve got to hurry before your next class.”

“Oh, right.” She giggled and grabbed my arm, pulling me close to her. “I almost turned into a chatterbox.” She looked back at Garrison and waved. “See you later, Garrison.”