Saving Christmas

Once upon a time, far away, across the ocean, past the desert, and over the seven mountains, a long time ago, when the world was a different one and other things mattered, in a hidden valley, deep inside a dense forest, next to a small, frozen over lake, stood a small modest wooden house. The trees were covered with snow, a cold wind blew down from the mountain, laden with clouds of powdery snow that accumulated in big heaps, deeply burying all that lay underneath. Icicles hung from the roof. A little trail was shoveled free from the door of the house to the tiny barn. The wind played with a broken shutter in a rhythmic beat. Smoke rose quietly from the chimney. Someone was home.

The forest was home to many creatures. Animals of all kinds had their nests, dens, and other homes in the forest. A place to protect against the cold, raise their children, and withdraw. The forest provided not only shelter but also food. Food was more difficult in winter though. The cold made everyone more hungry while snow and ice made nourishment harder to get by. Some stomachs stayed empty and complained loudly making noises. It is said that apart from the animals, other creatures call the forest their home. Elves, trolls, and spirits have been seen as it has been passed on for generations in legends, stories, and accounts of encounters.

Although it was well into December, one spirit was notably missing, though. The spirit of Christmas. Other years, it had arrived by then. It descended when people started to light candles more often, decorate their homes, visit their neighbors to eat cake, drink hot chocolate and sing carols together. It was present when people pondered on what present to make for their loved ones. And presents didn’t come easy in those days. There were no stores. The forest was far from the next town where these could be found. People had no money to spare anyways. So people made little things with their own hands and with love. Things they knew would bring joy into the hearts of their loved ones, make them feel special, appreciated, considered, and loved. Sometimes, little items of necessity were made, but with particular care and inspiration that rendered them anyhow special, precious, and personal. These presents made up for way too many ordinary days in life, when people were rather scarce with words, didn’t show their appreciation, and took others for granted. People in those days were poor in their pockets and rich in their hearts.

But this year was different. All people and creatures felt the absence of the Christmas spirit. Less joy filled their hearts, birds seemed more silent, voices in the carols seemed to harmonize less, and even the stars in the night sky seemed duller and twinkled less. While this time of the year normally felt special, filled with anticipation and excitement, now it felt more like just ordinary days. Hearts got slowly poisoned with feelings of melancholy and sometimes even hopelessness. Inspirations did not spark. Well-ntentioned supportive words, like seeds falling on rock, failed to be received with their intended effect. The absence of the Christmas spirit was even felt in the animal kingdom. Wild animals stayed away from people, cows’ milk lacked in richness and taste, cats scratched anyone who tried to cuddle them, even the proverbial friendship of dogs towards their owners seemed to be replaced with a distrustful distance. A dark mood descended over the whole region.

As it often happens, this was not caused by a notable important event, but much rather by an unfortunate combination of several innocent little neglects, ill-informed decisions, and aggravating circumstances.

One of the main circumstances was that the cold embrace of winter had arrived early, suddenly, and more forcefully this year. Once its strangling grip has taken hold of you, it greedily drained all warmth from you down to the bones.

While any part of life is susceptible to minor mishaps, this time, they happened in the reign of the elves. Unknown to most, the spirit of Christmas does not just come on its own, it has to be called in a ceremony. This was the responsibility of the people of the elves and there specifically, only the head elf had the power to invoke spirits. Since such great powers can be dangerous in the wrong hands, the intricacies of the invocation were a well protected a carefully kept secret. It was only known to the head elf herself. Whenever a head elf stepped down, usually due to advanced age, she would choose and initiate a worthy successor. This is how the elves have invoked the spirit of Christmas for generations, from the beginning of times, or at least since anyone could remember.

This year, however, for the first time, the ceremony was held but failed to work.

It all started just a week ago. The head elf had a bad night, turning and tossing, hardly closed her eyes, Sleep refused to flood her. So she got up early, but since all she did was slowed down, she anyhow arrived late at work. And on top of that, she had forgotten that it was inspection day, the day of the week where she traveled throughout the kingdom of her elves to help solve any problem there was. She was wearing her everyday coat, no cap, and no mittens. The sleigh ride was going to be cold. But duty comes first, no more time to lose to pass by her home to pick up the warm cloths. It was her fault anyhow and no one else should suffer from it. So, she left for her ride and, when the light dwindled, finally arrived back home as cold as an icicle.

She didn’t take much notice, in her young days, her ever curious soul had pushed her into some real adventures in which she endured any kind of hardship without blinking an eye or taming her fiery spirit in the slightest way.

Time has passed, however. While her soul was still bursting of energy, her body could not always keep up and sometimes outright refused to go along. Something she didn’t want to see or accept. But this time, no matter her will power, her body won the inner fight and took the upper hand. Instead of rested and refreshed, she woke up soaked in cold sweat with a high fever. Bad timing.

To make things worse, it was the day before the ceremony. She could not possibly head it herself, and finding a successor would be a task many years from now down the line, so she had to find a worthy substitute to fill in her crucial role. And, of course, she knew exactly who was the right elf for this job.

Her name was Stella. Her assistant for almost a year now. Stella was smart, kind, helpful, and had a sixth sense of what burdened others, how to encourage them, and how to brighten up their hearts to give them new faith in life. She would become her successor and a leader to be proud of. And that would take quite some more preparation. Stella was shy, way too modest, and afraid of speaking up in front of larger groups of elves. She was at times limited by her self-doubt, knowing the best solutions but not able to make them heard. But she has already made giant’s steps in her development and the was still ample time.

Except that there wasn’t. The head elf was happy to let Stella lead the secret invocation ceremony. A great challenge that would make her grow and gain more confidence. It had taken some convincing and reassurance for Stella to accept this honor. Now, all that was left was to pass on the secret part of the invocation. In spite of the fever, focus and concentration penetrated the fog in her mind to let her see clearly what exactly she had to pass on. But then, her voice failed. No matter how hard she tried, hardly a sound came out of her mouth, certainly nothing anyone could understand. This was the last straw for the doctor, also called medicine elf, who urgently sent her off for treatment to another elf kingdom down south at the sea where the salty air and mild temperature would bring the head elf back on her feet. She refused and fought this decision. But nobody could understand what she said. And off she went.

Stella was desperate. Her heart sank. How could she celebrate the invocation without the secrets? She got hold of the ceremony book for head elves, tried to urgently read, but was paralyzed by fear of failure and anxiety. She let the wave of panic break over her and let it flow off. It seemed to take forever, but then she could finally read. The book described the ceremony step by step and that was very helpful and encouraging. But when it came to the step of the actual words of the invocation, the book simply referred to the secret that could be passed on exclusively verbally and must never be written down. The panic was instantly back and seemed to materialize physically and take a paralyzing hold of all her body.

Stella did her best. The ceremony was already well on its way and when it was her turn to stand before the whole kingdom of elves, with tears in her eyes, she confessed to everybody that she was unable to do the invocation. The elves understood the situation and concluded the invocation ceremony anyhow. But, as could be expected, it did not work and the spirit of Christmas did not arrive and descend on the kingdom. Everyone was desperate, especially Stella. She mostly blamed herself and her mind toyed with thoughts about that she could have and should have when there was still time. Or that she simply didn’t learn fast enough and that’s why the head elf couldn’t possibly have passed on secrets any earlier. Desperation gripped her body, suffocating the heart. What could be done? Surely it was not acceptable that the Christmas spirit would not arrive!

While Stella sat on a chair, her eyes looking out the window to infinity without actually seeing anything, Stella’s little sister stepped into the room reciting an old Christmas saying. It originated in the ancient times when people and elves still lived together, when people still believed in magic and spirits. Only when people lost their faith and their ability to see magic, the world of the elves separated and became invisible to humans. Her sister continued and spoke in her child’s voice:

“Nothing is impossible to magic. Nothing is out of reach when an elf’s heart resonates in harmony with a pure human heart”.

It was custom for young elves to recite it before Christmas. So custom that few elves pondered on what it literally said and even fewer would believe in the truth it spoke. Magic, and conquering the impossible, were so rare even among elves that it was easy to think that these were just nice words that had no place in the real world.

But when Stella heard the words, they hit like a lightning. How could she have succumbed to desperation, as an elf, when really, the solution was so obvious and well-known. But was it also near?

People were unable to see elves, let alone communicate. And it takes a human with a pure heart according to the saying! But there had to be a way. Now that the first spark of hope and faith had taken hold of a remote corner, she carefully tended to it such that it could expand and take over her whole heart. She knew exactly what had to be achieved and that she was the one to make it happen. After all, the head elf chose her as her substitute and put faith in her to tend to affairs in her absence. She was now responsible for making things right. It lay on her shoulders to invoke the spirit of Christmas after all.

But where to start? The saying assures that it can be done but is awkwardly silent about how. What did she have to do? What would be her first step?

The soup was slowly simmering on the fire. Slow cooking was the secret to success, that’s what her mother always said. Now, it was Lucy to cook for the family, this is for her father and her little brother. She has tried hard to help wherever she could since her mom had unexpectedly died in an accident a year ago. Her full name was Lucilla Mary Jane. That’s what her mother used to call her when she did something naughty. But people, and certainly her friends, just called her Lucy. Lucy was only ten, but sometimes seemed older due to her role of replacing an adult.

There was a time when her mom frequently called her by her full name. It was because she wandered and hid in the forest. She used to get lost in its seeming magic, sun rays painting luminescent gems on the leaves, the wind composing symphonies for an orchestra of trees, butterflies and beetles who presented a breathtaking fashion show of beauty, the acrobatics of dragonflies who defied the laws of gravity that everyone else had to obey. Lucy just loved it. How could she resist the luring space where time ceased to exist. When one step, one discovery, one excitement, and one miracle led to the next, how could she avoid entering deeper and deeper into her beloved forest. Now that her mom wasn’t with her anymore and she thinks back, she often feels a little guilty about the worries and sorrow she caused her with her innocent escapes into the forest.

Thinking back, she also remembers that special summer night. The moon was full and bathed the forest in a magic light. She couldn’t sleep and sneaked out the house and into her favorite place besides the pond in the forest. She felt save in the dark hearing the familiar sounds of all the various inhabitants who lived there. She found a comfortable spot leaning against a big old tree, looking out whether any of her animal friends would come to drink, but mostly to listen because at night, all the sounds were amplified and mystified by the low light.

It was then that it happened. She first sensed some gentle movement at the edge of the pond. As if it was a tiny star flying. And then, almost like a dragonfly, a tiny creature, still shining, landed just next to the water and, to her big surprise, started to sing. Lucy couldn’t understand the words, nor did she recognize the tune or even style. She had never heard anything like it. Lucy was awestruck. The gentle song made her feel so warm and comfortable, so relaxed. Everything felt just good, just right. It was so soothing, that she must have nicked away. And when she woke up, just a moment later, or some time later, she couldn’t tell, it was gone. Was it only a dream? It could not be true. She knew the forest well and had never seen or heard anything like it. She must have dreamt! It was so much more special than the normal magic she knew so well.

The harder Stella tried to think of a solution, the more the screaming emptiness of ideas expanded in her mind, and the more doubts filled in the empty space. How could she find a pure human whose heart resonated in harmony with hers. She was completely exhausted by the intensity of the thinking and the despair for remaining empty handed in spite of all the effort. She collapsed on her bed, silently crying. What else could she do? Her physical and emotional exhaustion took over and sent her into a deep sleep.

Stella’s sleep was broken by one of the first sun rays shining through the window. She was still in the twilight zone between night and day, between sleeping and waking. It is in this intermediate state that solutions originating in one realm can jump over to the other. It appears to us as inspiration. But maybe it is help we receive in the unconscious that recharges and heals us while we sleep. And there it was.

Half dream, half thought. Stella remembered an encounter with a little human girl in the forest last summer. First, the thought was just there, like many other thoughts, without meaning, value, or even importance. The closer Stella moved from dream to thought, the more interesting the thought appeared, until it stood out as the solution she had hoped for.

Until she was fully awake, Stella clung on to the thought with all her force, afraid it could slip back into the world of dreams and disappear again. She repeated it in her mind over and over so that it couldn’t get lost.

Stella was wide awake now. Was that girl the human she was seeking? She wasn’t sure. But it was the only idea she had, so she might as well try.

The day was a busy one. Stella had reached out to the elves who lived in that area. They knew about the girl and where she lived, even where her room was. Now, it was evening and Stella stood outside the window of the girl’s bedroom and glanced in. She had to somehow get her attention.

Physically tired of all her chores, Lucy lay in her bed. But her mind didn’t let her sleep. She was listening for footsteps on the wooden stairs coming up to her room. But all she could hear was the wind outside. Her mom used to come up, sit on the edge of her bed, tell her a short story, and embrace her in a warm good night hug. And now there was only emptiness. Her mom wasn’t there anymore. She knew and understood in her head. But yet, she expected her to come around the corner any moment, smell the scent of her favorite soap in the bathroom, find the kitchen filled with the wonderful smell of her cookies, hear her soothingly singing while she worked, feel her soft hair tickling during a hug, or feel her damp warmth the times when they cried together. She expected her to gently stroke away the tears from her cheeks now that she was weeping, she expected a healing embrace that made her world sound and warm again. But her mom was not there anymore. All the space that she had lovingly filled was empty and cold now. There would be no more hugs, no more stories, no more little smiles of encouragement, no smells, no songs. Oh, how much she missed her mom. How sorely she would need a hug from her now.

While her mind showed her one cherished moment with her mom after another, Cuddles pressed against her and purred. He was her cat. They took him on as a stray long ago. He used to be very shy and distrustful. They called him Cuddle out of irony first, since he wouldn’t. But it seemed the name was self-fulfilling. Cuddles gained more and more trust. He opened up to the family, became part of it, and increasingly first let himself be cuddled and then even come and seek cuddles. It was her mom who gave him most of the patient and loving attention that he needed to be welcomed into the family and feel at home with them. Maybe he too missed mom. At least now, he came to cuddle with her every night.

Unlike other nights, it seemed that also Cuddles could not find rest tonight. He was moving with unrest. His ears standing up and scanning. His head turning, his wide-open eyes fixing different corners of the room. As if his hunting instinct had been woken. But there were no mice, no flies or insects that could catch his interest. It was quiet except for the wind outside. Maybe the full moon. She gently stroked over his soft fur to sooth whatever preoccupied him and to make him feel safe and protected. A little like her mom would have done with her.

Just outside the window, Stella tried to get the cat’s attention. It would be far easier than being noticed by the girl. Only very few humans were still able to see elves, the majority of them children and some old grannies. Her eyes were now fixed on the cat. She concentrated. She called him. Communication with animals is not through words. It is more like sending a picture. It first has to become clear inside yourself before it can be transferred. Communicating with animals was the specialty of some elves. It was taught in elves’ schools. But it wasn’t Stella’s specialty, she hadn’t done it after school, and without practice, she wasn’t good at it. So, she tried and remembered that she needed faith for it to work. In her inner image, she now pushed the cat gently to attract his attention.

“What is it tonight, Cuddles”, Lucy asked softly. She was scanning the room that was lit only in moonlight to find out what Cuddles was after. But she could not see or hear anything--until she looked at the window. It was a cold night and the sky was full of stars, some veiled by the bright moon. But it seemed that one star was well visible. A tiny one. And it seemed not be suspended in the night sky, but right there, outside the window. It seemed to move.

Stella was so relieved. It seemed to work in spite of all her doubts whether she would be able. The girl now walked to the window, looking with disbelieve, almost awe. She opened the window and Stella flew in. She felt so much relieve and at the same time anxiety of whether she could walk the next step. The one that made the real difference and achieved what was so badly needed. But it was one step at a time and she just accomplished another one. She urged herself to remain faithful.

“My heart resonating in harmony with this girl’s heart?” A human who might not believe in magic, may lack any faith in the good forces, in the spirit of Christmas in particular! But there was hope. The girl was after all able to see her at the pond last summer, and she could see her now.

Humans could not be trusted was a common believe of self-protection among elves. Many had gotten badly hurt, both, physically and emotionally. But to establish a resonance of hearts, any such fear was an obstacle. Stella had learnt that treating someone as a friend goes a long way to making them indeed be a friend. She had learned that it was up to her to create the right setting and project a space in which the right things could happen. It was her responsibility, and lay in her power to create the world around her. This made her understand what she had to do.

Overcoming all her fears, she let down every protection, she showed her inner self, bare as it was, cast every veil that could obscure ugly, unloved corners, showed all her weaknesses and vulnerabilities. She was frightened. Humans are huge and incredibly strong. They could badly hurt an elf with just a careless movement or word.

But, scrambling all her courage, she filled her heart with trust in the girl, and trust that this trust would be reciprocated. She sat down on the girl’s shoulder and courageously asked her for help. She told her with her meek gentle voice that the spirit of Christmas hadn’t come due to her failing, she told her how desperate she was, and she asked for help. Help to heal the situation for her, all the elves, animals, and humans.

Stella opened her heart wide, laying open how she felt inadequate and guilty, showing her helplessness and her neediness, her honestly frank plea for help. The split second before the girl reacted seemed like an eternity, a moment that decided whether the world would fall apart or be saved. It was almost unbearable. It was daring to open oneself that much. It was her courageous heart was under assault by her mind that exploded with pictures of the grave risks, thoughts of all that could go wrong, memories of past injuries, delusions, and pain. A split second that seemed to last forever. Stella looked straight into the girl’s blue eyes, gasping for a reaction like one would gasp for air while drowning.

Lucy’s eyes looked back, straight into Stella’s eyes. That elf was so small, so delicate, so luminous, so lovely. Her heart felt Stella’s vulnerability and need. It instantly filled with warmth and love. It wrapped a cocoon of healing around Stella, a protective embrace of warm reassurance. She felt what Stella felt. Vulnerable, exposed, anxious, and in desperate need of getting healed. And at the same time, she felt the urge to heal, to commit her whole soul to providing salvation, refuge, a renewal of energy. Their hearts now truly resonated, all walls between them had fallen.

Stella’s heart seemed to expand and embrace the whole world. Light ignited in her and radiated. Pure joy took hold of her and touched every single cell of her little body. The risk of revealing her deepest self, of ignoring any urge for precautions, of taking off all her masks behind which she normally hid the deepest places of her being, the risk of refusing to play any of the roles that are known to please, all this scary risk, it had paid off so wonderfully. It was like letting go and falling--like falling in love.

There they were, Lucy and Stella. Mesmerized by the magic of the moment. Lost in the present, in an eternity where their minds were silent, when all that mattered could only be felt, when they seemed to expand without any limits, when they seemed to embrace the whole world and penetrate the forest just outside with all its creatures--animals, humans and elves. Such moments should never end, but normally they do.

Stella’s mind came back into her consciousness, forming thoughts of judgements and expectations. They were all good but after all just thoughts, far less important than they used to be before, optional to listen to, but sometimes anyhow very useful for going ahead with one's life, to form a plan of the next step, to take this next step, and act.

Her mind now assessed the situation, compared what happened to what she set out to achieve and what was expected of her as a substitute head elf. She still did not know the words of the invocation she had to recite, did not know the choreography to follow in the ceremony. What was the next step?

These thoughts, and the fact that they had lost some of their previous importance, made her realize something that struck her like a lightning. The invocation had no spoken words, the ceremony no choreography. It was just being, not acting. It was not speaking, but an unspeakable moment of silence that could not be described with words. It became clear in her mind that the spirit of Christmas had been invoked and had already descended--the very moment when Stella’s and Lucy’s heart had connected and resonated together. Nothing else was needed.

Without anybody knowing how and why, the world felt instantly brighter and warmer for everybody in the valley--people, animals, and elves. People spoke with softer voices, misunderstandings were absorbed by a big advance of credit and trust, people expected only good things from others--which became self-fulfilling and brought out the best in everyone. Animals trusted people again. Cuddles was the first to show this by snuggling up even closer than normal and purring louder. The trust between animals and people even extended to the wild inhabitants of the forest. Deer came closer to houses and accepted food from people who rejoiced over the encounters and being able to help.

But most importantly, the new bond between Stella and Lucy was so strong that it broke down the long lasting separation between the realm of people and that of elves. Elves now had the courage and necessary trust to venture close to people. More and more people could actually see elves and some could even hear their songs or talk with them. It is said that even some close friendships between people, mostly children, and elves formed. A harmony had descended on the valley that nobody had considered even possible.

The elves were very proud of Stella. The head elf had returned from her treatment, fully recovered. She was especially proud of Stella and a little bit of herself for having chosen her substitute so wisely. She had recognized the inner strength in Stella's heart that was often hidden behind her appearance of shyness and her occasional self-doubt. The fact that Stella could invoke the spirit of Christmas without being passed on the elves' well guarded secret was only possible for someone with an exceptionally pure heart driven by a selfless pursuit of love and light. Such strength of soul convinced the head elf to lay the responsibility for the well-being of the kingdom of elves in Stella's competent hands and that she could finally retire. Under Stella's benevolent lead, the kingdom of the elves flourished and spread happiness and harmony.

Stella and Lucy were almost like sisters now and remained inseparable friends. Cuddles was with them whenever they met. Lucy still missed her mom. But when she felt desperation and emptiness, there was always Stella who was close, and brought comfort, hope and gradual healing.

All this happened long ago and far away, in a hidden valley. But it is said that the spark of the newly found faith in the good, trust in others, and openness to see little glimpses of magic in everyday life swapped over well beyond and that this has affected us all, most notably in the time before Christmas.