Chapter 1
The notification chime on Benji’s phone sent a jolt through his body. He grabbed it eagerly, heart racing as he read Kate’s message:
“Hey, babe, want to spend Christmas with my family? They’re dying to meet you!”
A rush of warmth flooded Benji’s chest. He’d never been invited to a girlfriend’s family Christmas before. His thumbs hovered over the screen, trembling slightly as he typed out a response:
“Wow, that’s so sweet of you to ask! I’d love to...”
He paused, his finger hovering over the send button. Would he love to? Images of Kate’s conservative family flashed through his mind—her stern father, her prim mother, and her judgmental older brothers. Benji deleted the message with a sigh.
“Everything okay?” Kate texted again.
Benji flopped back onto his bed, phone held above his face. “Just thinking it over,” he replied. “Big step, you know?”
“Of course! No pressure. Let me know when you decide.”
He let his arm fall to his side, staring at the ceiling. Part of him yearned to say yes immediately. I want to spend the holidays wrapped in Kate’s warm embrace and feel like part of a real family again. But anxiety gnawed at his insides.
“What if they hate me?” he muttered to himself. “What if I say the wrong thing and ruin everything?”
Benji rolled onto his side, curling around his phone like a lifeline. He pulled up a photo of Kate, her radiant smile filling the screen. God, he loved her. And he wanted nothing more than to make her happy. But could he fit in with her picture-perfect suburban family?
He closed his eyes, imagining the scene. Carols playing softly in the background. The scent of cinnamon and pine. Kate’s hand was in his as they sat around the tree. It was everything he’d been missing since his own family had cut him off.
“Maybe it’s worth the risk,” Benji whispered, opening his eyes. He gazed at Kate’s photo again, drawing strength from her unwavering faith in him. With trembling fingers, he began to type:
“I’d be honoured to join your family for Christmas. Thank you for including me. ❤️”
Benji’s thumb hovered over the send button, his mind drifting back to a conversation with Kate just a few weeks ago. They’d been curled up on his threadbare couch, sharing a pint of ice cream, when she’d broached the subject of her family.
“You know, Benji,” Kate said, her spoon pausing midway to her mouth. My parents are old-school. Dad’s a deacon at the church, and Mom’s idea of rebellion is wearing trousers to Sunday service.”
He’d chuckled nervously. “That sounds... intense.”
“They’re good people,” Kate had assured him, squeezing his hand. “Just set in their ways. No tattoos, no piercings, definitely no living in sin.” She’d winked at him then, easing the tension.
Benji had nodded, acutely aware of the small hoop in his left ear and the faded tattoo peeking out from under his sleeve. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he’d promised.
Now, in his dimly lit bedroom, Benji paced back and forth, his bare feet padding softly on the worn carpet. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, tugging at the ends as he weighed his options.
“Okay, pros,” he muttered to himself. “I get to be with Kate. I won’t be alone for Christmas. Her family might actually like me.” He paused, biting his lower lip. “Cons: They might hate me. I could embarrass Kate. I might say something stupid and ruin everything.”
He stopped in front of the mirror, studying his reflection. “Come on, Benji,” he said to his image. “You can do this. For Kate.”
With a deep breath, he picked up his phone again, his thumb hovering over the send button. “Here goes nothing,” he whispered and pressed send.
Benji’s fingers trembled as he scrolled through his phone, past Kate’s message and down to a long-forgotten thread. The name “Mom & Dad” stared back at him, accusatory in its silence. The last message, dated over a year ago, was a terse “Merry Christmas” from his mother. He swallowed hard, memories flooding back.
“You’re throwing your life away,” his father’s voice echoed in his mind. “Art school? What kind of future is that?”
The ache of loneliness hit him like a physical blow. Benji’s thumb hovered over the call button, his heart racing. “Maybe... maybe they’ve changed,” he whispered, though the words rang hollow.
Taking a deep breath, Benji hit the call button. The phone rang once, twice, and three times, each sending a jolt of anxiety through his body. He paced the small confines of his room, his free hand clenching and unclenching at his side.
“Hello?” His mother’s voice, cool and distant, came through the speaker.
Benji’s voice cracked as he responded, “Hi, Mom. It’s... it’s me, Benji.”
“Oh,” she said, the surprise evident in her tone. “Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Benji said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I just... I wanted to talk. Kate’s invited me to spend Christmas with her family, and I—”
“Kate?” His mother interrupted. “Is she the girl you’re... living with?”
Benji winced at the disapproval in her voice. “Yes, Mom. We’ve been together for over a year now.”
Benji cleared his throat, pushing through the discomfort. “I was hoping to get your thoughts on—”
“Benji,” his father’s gruff voice cut in, clearly on speakerphone now. “You know how we feel about this situation. Living in sin, wasting your talent on frivolous art...”
“Dad, please,” Benji pleaded, his free hand gripping the edge of his desk. “I’m not asking for approval. I just... I don’t know how to handle spending the holidays with Kate’s family. They’re very traditional, and I—”
His mother sighed, the sound heavy with disappointment. You should have considered that before moving in with her.
Benji’s heart sank. He closed his eyes, willing himself to stay calm. “I love her, Mom. I want to make a good impression on her family.”
“Well,” his father said, his tone clipped, “you certainly didn’t make a good impression on ours, did you?”
The words stung like a slap. Benji’s throat tightened, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “I... I should go,” he managed to choke out.
“Goodbye, Benji,” his mother said, her voice softening slightly. “Do take care of yourself.”
The line went dead before Benji could respond. He lowered the phone, staring at the blank screen. The silence in his room felt oppressive, broken only by his ragged breathing.
Benji sank onto his bed, the weight of the conversation crashing down on him. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots as if the physical pain could distract from the emotional turmoil.
“Why can’t they just...” he whispered to the empty room, unable to finish the thought. Accept me? Love me? Be proud of me?
The familiar ache of longing for a family’s unconditional love washed over him. He thought of Kate, her warmth and acceptance, and felt a pang of gratitude and fear. What if her family rejected him, too?
Benji’s gaze drifted back to his phone, Kate’s invitation glowing on the screen. He picked it up, rereading her words with a mixture of longing and trepidation. The promise of warmth and belonging, even for a short while, tugged at his heart.
“It could be different this time,” he murmured, picturing himself surrounded by Kate’s family, their laughter filling a cosy living room decorated for Christmas. He imagined Kate’s hand in his, her smile reassuring as she introduced him to her parents.
The fantasy was so vivid that he could almost smell cinnamon and pine and feel the softness of Kate’s sweater against his cheek as they cuddled on the couch. For a moment, he allowed himself to indulge in the hope of acceptance, of finding a place where he truly belonged.
Benji stood up abruptly, his resolve hardening. “I can do this,” he said aloud, pacing the small confines of his room. “I have to try.”
He stopped in front of the mirror, studying his reflection. “Okay, Benji,” he coached himself, “you’re going to be charming, respectful, and...” he hesitated, then added with a wry smile, “and hopefully not need a diaper change at the dinner table.”
The thought made him chuckle nervously. At 17, he was still adjusting to the slower pace of independence. But Kate had never judged him for it, and he hoped her family would be equally understanding.
Benji took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders. “I’ll learn their traditions, their likes and dislikes. I’ll be the perfect guest.” He nodded at his reflection, trying to project confidence he didn’t feel. “And maybe, just maybe, they’ll see me as part of the family too.”
Benji sat at his desk, fingers hovering over his phone’s keyboard. He began to type, his heart racing with each word:
“Kate, my love, thank you so much for inviting me. I’d be honoured to spend Christmas with you and your family.”
He paused, biting his lip. Was that too formal? Not heartfelt enough? Benji deleted the message and started again.
“Hey gorgeous,” he typed, then immediately erased it. It’s too casual for such a crucial moment. He took a deep breath and tried once more:
“Kate, I can’t tell you how much your invitation means. Spending Christmas with you and your family fills me with joy. I’d love to come and be a part of your holiday traditions. Thank you for including me in something so special. I promise to be on my best behaviour and not spill eggnog all over your mom’s fancy tablecloth.”
Benji chuckled softly, imagining Kate’s eye roll at his attempt at humour. He added:
“In all seriousness, I’m looking forward to every moment with you. This Christmas will be unforgettable. I can’t wait to see you, beautiful. Love, Benji.”
His thumb hovered over the send button. Was it too much? Not enough? Benji’s stomach churned with uncertainty. “Come on, just do it,” he muttered to himself.
With a quick exhale, he pressed send. The message whooshed away, leaving Benji with exhilaration and terror. He stood up and walked to the window, his mind racing with possibilities.
“What have I gotten myself into?” he whispered, gazing out at the city lights. But as he imagined Kate’s smile when she read his message, a warmth spread through his chest. Whatever challenges lay ahead, they’d face them together.
Benji turned from the window, his mind shifting to practical matters. He pulled his suitcase from the cupboard and laid it open on the bed. Rifling through his wardrobe, he carefully selected each item.
“Okay, think respectable boyfriend material,” he muttered, holding a crisp button-down shirt. “No band tees, no ripped jeans.”
He folded the shirt meticulously and placed it in the suitcase. His hands lingered on a soft sweater Kate had once complimented.
“This one’s a keeper,” he smiled, adding it to the pile.
As he packed, Benji’s thoughts drifted. Do they do the whole matching Christmas pyjamas thing? God, I hope not.”
He paused, holding a pair of dark slacks. “Then again, if it means feeling like part of the family...”
Shaking his head, he continued packing, each item chosen with care. A tie for Christmas dinner, casual but neat everyday outfits, and even his nicest pair of shoes cut.
Zipping up the suitcase, Benji stood back, surveying his work. “Well, if clothes make the man, I’m at least halfway there.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of what lay ahead. Running his hands through his hair, he took a deep, shaky breath.
“You can do this, Benji,” he told himself firmly. “It’s just a family Christmas. With your girlfriend’s parents. Who probably thinks their daughter could do better.”
He stood up, squaring his shoulders. “But I’ll prove them wrong. I’ll show them I’m worthy of Kate. Of being part of a family.”
Benji closed his eyes, centring himself. When he opened them, determination shone in his gaze.
“Bring it on, Christmas,” he said with a quiet laugh. “I’m ready for whatever you’ve got.”
