Finding Never

“Neevveerr! Where are you, girl?” a voice called out in the darkness. As my mind came back from the unconscious realm, I realized they had lost me again. I snickered. My parents were long dead, having displeased the king right after my birth, probably because I was human. It was a stupid act on the part of my sire’s sire. He thought I was half-human because my father was so weak that my mother would cheat on him. Turns out he didn’t cheat. DNA testing proved that. Now the idiot is obligated by his Sire to care for me because I am a rare beast. It is so rare that one like me only comes around once in a thousand years; a human was born to a Lycan. The reverse happens, too, but when it does, the humans take it to the Temple of the Moon Goddess and leave it for them to take care of. That, in theory, should be what the Wolves do with me. But that theory blew up in their faces when they won the war with the help of the Vampires.

The Lycan don’t like vampires very much. They don’t like anyone very much. They stick to themselves, but in the war to save the planet from climate change, they agreed to help bring the humans under control. They went from being hunted and feared to hunting and being worthy of that fear. The Lycan king, Chase, is kind to me. He sees me as some sort of control for the vampires. A reminder, we all evolved the same way, just into different beings. I am the reason we all should just get along. If only humans understood that the wolves were more human than the vampires, even if the vampires managed to hide among them better. He expects that one day I will marry his son, Channing. That name... I know, but it does mean wolf and is one of the more accepted names among wolf royalty.

“Neevveerr!” Another exasperated cry rang out through the halls of our home, breaking me out of my reverie. I don’t say anything. I do open my eyes, but I remain where I am, as I am, doing nothing but being still. Not too still, mind you. They are used to that. I’m not trying to hide from the woman searching for me. But, it is a bit of a game, at least for me. She will come into my room to wake me, totally miss me lying here, and go back to the kitchen thinking I am up and about already. She will then wait a good thirty minutes for me to show. When I don’t, she starts screeching like a banshee through the mansion/castle. I don’t know what you would call this monstrosity we live in. I just call it home. She has tried to get me punished for doing this before, but since I am right where I am supposed to be and the wolves and vamps both see it as a useful tool for me to have, I am not the one who gets in trouble. I only do it in the morning when the blind woman can’t find me. She isn’t blind, but I could sit up as she walked past, and if she was already past my head, she would be clueless. They all are, really. It’s why I don’t get in trouble. It’s “just that fool woman who couldn’t find her hand in front of her face.” As long as they aren’t also looking, they aren’t the fools she is. I mean, they have a point. I have never not been asleep in my bed when she lost me. If I am not in bed when she calls, I always answer. But when she can’t find me because she is afraid to move a blanket off my face... well, that is on her. Every single one of them finds it amusing and annoying that I can hide in plain sight. On the one hand, they love a good game, and at first, that is how they saw this. On the other hand, my being able to hide could be a sign that humans are evolving, and they do not like that at all.

As Lucy got to the foot of the bed, I sat up and touched her hand, causing her to jump and clutch at her chest. “The whole time. You have been there this whole bloody time, haven’t you? I just twisted up my face in a sort of “my bad” facial expression, then shrugged. I don’t know what you would call the look. I have seen other humans make it in similar situations, but not being raised by them, I have no idea if I am even using it right. “The Lycan king and his son are here to see you. He said you have a play date with Channing.”

“Tell him, it’s not a play date. We are too old for play dates unless Channing intends to shift and let me throw sticks for him to bring back, like a common dog; there will be no play.”

“Aww, that hurt, Munchkin,” Channing’s voice comes through the open door, and I can hear the grin in his voice. “I can think of a lot of ways we could play that don’t involve sticks or even balls unless it’s gagging you.” I squeal both because he is right outside my door and I am still in the t-shirt and shorts I sleep in. The graphic T has a huge heart on the front of it with the words I heart The Lycan’s with his face in the middle of the heart.

To be fair, He is the lead in a metal band, and this is the band shirt he gave me. It says crew on the back. It’s so I can get into his gigs without being questioned. They have been on tour for the last 6 weeks, and I haven’t seen them the entire time. I missed him. He was, after all, my dog growing up. He protected me when the humans would come around. He and I can communicate silently, not that it should surprise anyone. I can with him and most of the kin and kind I live among. He and the rest of the royal family, oh, and their guards, are the only ones, though some think that means we are a bonded pair. Maybe we are. Maybe we aren’t. I just know I am happy when he is around and grumpy when he isn’t.

“What about me?” Another voice comes from behind Channing, and I squeal again. Both of my boys are home. Channing, the Prince of Wolves, and Tolrur, Prince of Vampires. Yes, I have noticed it’s a dragon’s name. But so is Dracula, which is his last name, so he is Dragon Dragon or the master of dragons or since dragons don’t exist outside of fairy tales... The Prince of the Dammed, aka Vampires.

Where Channing is the band, Tol built and nurtured the band through everything. Channing is the heart. Tol is the soul. Not that he is in the band. He isn’t. His hands don’t work for playing an instrument, they are just too big. His voice sounds like a dying baby seal. I hope he forgives me for that. But he makes an excellent manager, and his ability to come up with song lyrics to the music Channing writes floors me. Together, they are the heart and soul of The Lycans. I like to tease Channing about the name being a bit on the nose, but he says as soon as I can come up with something better, he will change it. Tol says it’s already too late. The fans know them now and won’t appreciate the name change. I am still looking for the perfect name. Maybe we can announce they broke up and reformed under a different name, Humans eat that shit up.

“So are you going to lie around all day with this idiot’s picture plastered across your chest, or are you going to change and come 'play' with us?” The air quotes around the word, play, they both do at the same time, and send a bit of a thrill through me. I don’t know why. It just always has. We never play the way they mean it. Too bad, I am of age now, but they are both afraid they will hurt me and want my first time to be with a human, but then everyone keeps me away from the humans, like they might take me and use me as leverage or something.

“More like take you and not give you back when we ask nicely, “Tol purrs through my mind.

“Stop that! I told you I don’t like it when you do that.”

Channing tilts his head at me and grins while tapping his nose. I just glare at him for being so crass. Why point out that I am horny when we all three know they can both smell it. “What’s my name?”

“Never,” They both say in unison with a smirk on their faces, knowing where I am going with this.

“Well, then you have your answer, don’t you?” I stomp over to my wardrobe and grab a pair of grunge jeans, you know the kind with purposeful holes in them to make them look old when they aren’t, with a chain belt to give it just enough of a punk feel to stop them from making jokes about me loving Nervana. I don’t. I don’t even like punk. I am more into Glam meets punk, and they know it. Then I grab a torn band Tee, I want to pick the poison green one with Ricky Rocket’s face on it, but I will never hear the end of it, so instead I go for a Skid Row this time. It’s deliberately torn at an angle around my midriff. Longer in the back than the front, showing just enough of the soft flesh of my belly to make all the males groan while keeping enough covered that if someone touches the small of my back, I won’t jump because it tickles. I turn so that my back isn’t completely facing them. They have seen my boobs so many times now that they know what they look like. I don’t want them to see the tramp stamp on my lower back just yet. I am not ready to die today. It is something I have heard them talk about, “for my protection,” of course. But someone accidentally left it out, and upon seeing their names together intertwined with morning glory and nightshade flowers, I couldn’t resist. I just don’t want them to know yet. I am waiting for the big reveal on their joint birthdays. Both were born during a blood moon lunar eclipse in the same year. I can’t get a straight answer out of either of them about how old they are. I just know they are old enough that they are being pressured to settle down by their fathers, and for both groups, that usually means about 150 years. They mature slower than humans do, thanks to their longer life spans. I will turn twenty-two on the same day. They say it was the best birthday gift the moon goddess could have given either of them, but I have my doubts. We shall see what happens on their birthday when I unveil it. I am prepared to be rejected. The whole you’re too young, we are too young spiel. We shall have to see what happens then. But, until that night, I will do my best to keep it under wraps.

When I turn back around, I find them both watching me closely. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I don’t know if they saw, but I know they saw me trying to hide something from them. Before I can blink, they are both next to me. Damn, they are fast. Tol grabs my arms and turns me so my back is facing Channing. He lifts the hem of my shirt and whistles.

“She found it. And it’s more beautiful than I expected.

Tol handed my arms over to Channing so I would be turned so he could see. “You know what this means, right?” Tol asked.

“That I am under your protection and you can now take me with you when you go on tour?”

I hear Tol chuckle. “This was our pipe dream, little bit. We didn’t mean to leave it out for you to find it. We both realized we had about two hundred miles from home right before they went on stage. I thought about calling home and having someone put it away before you found it. But to be honest, neither of us wanted to. We made eye contact on the second night while He was on stage. We both knew you found it. We were both pretty sure we knew when you had it inked on you.”

“This, having you change with us in the room, was so we could see which one you picked,” Tol continued, where Channing left off.

“What do you mean, which one would I pick?”

“There were three options. One with just my name...” Tol said slowly

“Another with just my name,” Channing continued.

“And one with both of our names,” they said in unison, their voices echoing through my mind in unison.

I blinked at them once, twice, three times, trying to wrap my mind around the implications of their words. “This is the only one I saw,” I said so softly that they barely heard me.

They glanced at each other over my head. “So Selena chose for you then. Only she has the power to interfere with our plans and take away your choice.”

“What choice? There was never a choice. Even if they had all been there, I still would have only seen this one. There was no choice for me. I saw other pages, but it was like they were blank. The light from this showed so brightly it made my heart sing with the rightness of it all.”

Almost before I could stop speaking, Tol had lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist as Channing claimed my mouth. “Don’t worry, little human. We will never leave you behind again.”

“Does this mean my first time still has to be with a human? Both of their eyes blazed as they looked at each other and said, “Hell No,” in unison.