Of Course, It’s You

Hannah fidgeted in her chair, forcing herself to breathe in perfect rhythm. At one point in her life, Hannah had absolutely loved weddings. There was a thrill watching two people so in love, admitting it to those closest to them.

Maybe she had loved weddings because she never had an actual wedding of her own, choosing instead to make a quick stop at the local courthouse, or maybe it was simply because she loved love. But as she waited for the bride to walk down the aisle to join her groom, she felt uncomfortable.

Over the years, the appeal of weddings has dulled. They hadn't seemed to shine as brightly as they used to in her eyes. It was one of the many things that had changed since her wife had died.

Three years, God, almost four now, since the day she learned of the accident. With Kayley gone, it was as if Hannah's world had shifted on its axis. No matter how hard she tried to level out her life again, nothing seemed to feel right. It was as if everything had shifted into a new permanent angle that wouldn't level back out no matter how hard she fought it.

The RSVP had taunted her from her fridge for weeks before she had finally replied. If her brother wasn't best friends with the groom, Eric, and if she also didn't work with the grom, she would have pushed against accepting.

When Eric just about begged to have her daughter Olyvia as their flower girl, she found there was no escape.

She uncrossed and recrossed her legs with clenched hands, unable to sit still, reminding herself that she was here for Olyvia. She could live with that thought rather than the welling emotions causing her chest to tighten.

"I'm here for Lyv," she reminded herself for the umpteenth time.

The wedding was like all the rest that Hannah had been to since she moved to Nashville a few years ago. It was an outdoor ceremony beside a repurposed barn decorated with hanging string lights overhead, that glimmered and shined perfectly. Once the vows finished, they would be moving into the barn for the reception where country music would be blaring from speakers.

Having found a job with a record label, it wasn't a new concept for Hannah. Country music had become a normality. It had become her life; the life she had rebuilt for herself.

Soft music began playing, and everyone turned in their seats. At the back, Olyvia seemed to struggle, unsure of what she was supposed to do. Hannah turned to look at her brother, standing with the other groomsmen. She was about to get up and help her daughter walk down with her basket of flower petals, but Jason held up a hand to her and made his way to his niece with a large smile.

Hannah couldn't contain the eyeroll when there was a collective awe as he held her hand and helped toss some of the petals on the aisle to show her what to do. Of course, this would work to his own advantage. The women around them practically swooned.

She looked around the crowd and choked back a laugh. Jason's best way into a woman's life was by the help of his niece, and helping her down the aisle, was most assuredly gaining him brownie points in all the women's eyes in that very moment.

All but one.

Hannah felt the weight of someone's gaze upon her, heavy and unyielding. She glanced up, expecting to catch someone she knew from work. It seemed half the office was in attendance. Instead, she found herself locking eyes with a stranger at the far end of the aisle that seemed to only be looking at her.

The woman didn't look away, her focus unwavering—not on the ceremony, not on Olyvia at the end of the aisle, and not on Jason coaxing his niece, but on Hannah herself. It was a look that seemed to see through the carefully constructed walls she had built over the years, right into the parts of her she'd long hidden away. It wasn't a look of pity, nor simple curiosity. It was something else, something that made Hannah's breath catch for just a moment. For the first time in a long time, she felt seen—not as a grieving widow, not as a devoted mother, but as a woman who might still have something left to give.

There was another light chuckle in the crowd that tore Hannah's eyes from the beautiful stranger, returning her gaze back to her daughter. She had to admit, it was adorable. Instinctively, she reached out for a hand that wasn't there beside her. There was no one there to join in her pride and enjoyment while she watched Olyvia in her little white dress and tiny flats.

Olyvia tossed a few handfuls of petals and Hannah knew the expression on her face. It was the same look she had when she was trying to figure out a new task. Her lips were a tight line, she squinted her eyes, and a little crinkle formed between her brows.

The flower petals weren't spreading out evenly and it frustrated Olyvia enough that she bent down and spread them out so that they were perfect. Her daughter was a perfectionist through and through.

"Mommy!" Lyvie waved her basket of petals as she got closer. "Look!"

There was a chuckle from the crowd that didn't deter her daughter in the slightest.

"Hi sweetie," Hannah stage whispered. "You're doing an amazing job. Just a little further to go. Then you can come sit with me." She pointed to the altar just ahead.

Lyvie nodded enthusiastically, causing another awe from those around them. At least Eric's wedding had a cute factor that was sure to stick in everyone's memory.

Once Lyvie was done with her task, she jogged back and hopped into Hannah's lap. Hannah hugged her tightly around her middle and whispered encouragements in her ear. She was relieved to not be sitting by herself any longer, but she wouldn't admit that to anyone but herself.

Jason locked eyes with Hannah in that moment, and God dammit. He knew she was struggling. She should have never told him how much she despised weddings.

He gave her a sympathetic smile that made tears form in her eyes. She quickly swiped them away, but he saw them, nonetheless.

***

"Mommy! Keep dancing!" Lyvie begged.

They had already been dancing to two upbeat songs back-to-back, and Hannah wasn't sure she had much more in her. Her feet were sore, and her back was beginning to ache from holding Lyvie the entire time.

"Please?"

"Oh, alright." Hannah caved. "But only because you said please." She smiled.

After a minute of gentle sways and bouncing to the beat, Lyvie reached out her arms, and in an attempt to say Uncle Jason, Lyvie called out, "Unkie Jason!"

Hannah had yet to correct the mispronunciation ever since it was first said, and secretly, both Jason and Hannah hoped it was a nickname that would stick for at least a few more years.

Hannah's brother came into view looking disheveled from when the groomsmen had joined the bridesmaids out on the dance floor earlier. His white shirt was now untucked, his suspenders nowhere to be found, his cheeks were flushed, and his dark blond hair was no longer combed to perfection.

The way Olyvia looked at him melted Hannah's heart. She smiled, mesmerized at how much her daughter adored him. He nuzzled her and said, "Let's allow Mommy to get a drink, huh?" Lyvie giggled.

"Aren't you supposed to be over there?" Hannah asked, lifting her chin in the direction of the groomsmen that were now in a circle holding up full shot glasses. Their excited roar was almost deafening.

"God, no. That's the fourth one they're about to take within the last half hour. And that's not including what we had before the ceremony." He laughed.

"Oh, so my daughter is a chick magnet and a diversion tactic for you."

He barked out a laugh. "She's the best way to make sure I don't make awful decisions."

She rolled her eyes at him. God, she could really go for a drink right about now. She mouthed thank you, then made her way to the small open bar at the back of the barn.

She stood in line waiting to order and had to stop herself from playing with her left ring finger. She wasn't sure how long she had been unconsciously doing that tonight, playing with a ring that was no longer there. The ghost of it still weighed heavy.

She was next in line and ordered a beer and felt the bartender staring at her, but the woman wouldn't catch her eye. When she handed her the beer, the woman's eyes were mostly on her chest, which, okay, was strange because it was extremely noticeable. It had been so long since somebody had checked her out, but this felt different.

Regardless, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was more judgment in the gaze instead of flattering flirtation. It stirred up Hannah's massive list of insecurities.

It had taken days for her to choose an outfit for the wedding and ended up still undecided even hours before the ceremony, with several options laying on her bed waiting to be chosen. As mother of the flower girl, there was a slim chance she would go through the event entirely unnoticed.

So, she took a deep inhale, closed her eyes, and let blind hands reach for an outfit. Whichever she landed on, that's what she would wear. No takebacks.

Out of all the options, her hands had grabbed a dark red sleeveless jumpsuit that was form fitted from the waist up. The pant legs were wide and rippled in the breeze. It was a bit bolder than Hannah had planned to be. And, when she walked into the ceremony to find her seat, she could feel eyes land on her and felt her face warm from the attention. Not quite embarrassed, but it grabbed a lot more attention than she had intended.

Standing at the bar, she nervously moved her long blonde locks to one shoulder.

"Whiskey neat, please," she heard someone say to her left.

As Hannah looked down at her curls, she noticed a white spot on the front of her top.

Christ, it stuck out like a flashing beacon. Like the bright orange flashing cones at a construction site, warning you to slow down your speed.

Her shoulders sagged and she closed her eyes with an exhale. "You've gotta be kidding me." She mumbled.

The bartender hadn't been staring at her because she was interested or found her attractive. On the contrary, it was the icing from Olyvia's cupcake that she was looking at. God, couldn't the lady just have said something? It would have been embarrassing to hear, sure, but not as bad as walking around the rest of the night with a white mystery stain. She couldn't imagine the looks she would garner from that.

Awkwardly, Hannah reached for a beverage napkin at the exact moment another hand reached for the whiskey that had just been placed on the bar. Hannah almost knocked the entire thing over in her hurry to wipe the icing, and embarrassment, from herself.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's no big deal, really."

Hannah froze, locking eyes once more with the woman from earlier. The woman she had bumped into was none other than the woman that had been looking her way during the ceremony. She was even more stunning than from a distance. Her long dark hair fell in gentle waves down her back, and her dark green dress looked to be silk, which probably cost more than all the clothing in Hannah's closet at that moment. She carried herself powerfully, posture impeccable.

Jesus, where do they even make women like this? Hannah wondered, because there was nobody that looked like that naturally. She was the most boss bitch she had ever come across, and who the hell knew she would be into that?

Hannah could feel herself gawking, so she tore her eyes off the woman to swipe the napkin around her glass of beer. She let it absorb the sweat beads and then used it to blot out the icing. With a little struggle, it came out.

The woman didn't seem to notice what Hannah was doing, or if she had, she didn't let it show. To which, Hannah was grateful.

"There's certainly a theme to this wedding isn't there?" The woman asked.

Hannah snapped her attention to the woman, "what?" she practically shouted. It wasn't that she hadn't heard her, she had, it was just the shock that the woman was even speaking to her.

The woman gestured to the barn.

Hannah laughed with one syllable, "yeah, definitely the theme at most of these around here."

The woman hummed, "I'm not sure I'll ever understand the appeal." She furrowed her brow confused. "Barns only make me think of what was in here before us. It kind of grosses me out."

"Well, if you're here any longer than a few weeks, you'll be hooked to the lifestyle and never look back."

She laughed. It was melodic and throaty. It sent a shiver down Hannah's body. "God don't tell me that. I'm here for at least two months for business... if everything goes as planned." The woman said.

"Better be careful then. You'll go home talking funny, change up the music genres in your personal playlists, and have a hankerin' for fried spicy cuisine." She gave the last part a thick southern drawl. The woman's eyes went wide, and Hannah chuckled. "Only kidding – slightly."

She was still unconvinced of the joke. "I don't know if I'll be listening to music about men meeting their country girl and drinking beer in the back of their trucks."

Hannah grinned, "understood. But you do know that's not all it is right?"

She raised a brow to Hannah.

"There you are!" A voice called out, making them both jump.

Hannah turned away from the woman reluctantly to her brother.

"Well, I didn't stray too far from the exact place you sent me to," she said plainly. Hannah could feel the woman's eyes on them.

Jason shot her an I'm-over-your-sarcasm look. "Mommy, I don't want to dance with Unkie Jason anymore." Lyvie whined.

Out of the corner of Hannah's eye she could see the woman's shoulders relax then take a sip of her drink.

Jason thinned his mouth and shook his head slightly. "Very honest, too honest really. Just like your mother." He bounced the toddler in his arms, "you're breaking my heart, you know." Jason handed the toddler over to his sister. He shot a quick glance at the other woman, not unnoticed by Hannah. "I think she's more ruthless than you were when we were kids." Hannah let out a laugh that was far louder than she had meant. But her brother wasn't wrong. Lyvie was far too honest for her own good. She never held back and told it like it was, like the straight shooter she was.

As he turned away, Hannah slapped his shoulder gently, "no bimbos tonight!" He chuckled as he left them.

"No bimbos!" Lyvie yelled, waving a hand in the air for added dramatic effect, which made them both laugh, as well as several others.

"You know, if it wasn't for a precious little someone in your arms right now, I would be showing you a very specific digit right now."

"Eww. I don't want to be talking about your 'digit' Jason. That is disgusting and highly inappropriate."

His face fell flat, he dropped his chin, and looked at her out of the tops of his eyes. "Get your head out of the gutter." He mumbled.

"Stop using bad language." She countered, unable to keep back a smile. "Even if it's a silent gesture or implied. It's rude." Her tone was slathered in sarcasm. She was half tempted to stick her tongue out at him just for emphasis.

"You know, for being older, you're certainly not wiser."

Her mouth fell open in mock surprise. And she heard the faintest of laughs from the woman still standing next to her hiding behind her glass.

Lyvie turned back to Hannah, "Mommy?"

"Yes, lovely?" Hannah asked, still chuckling.

"Can I catch frogs now?"

There was a pond down the hill from the reception and Olyvia had been eyeing it since they had arrived, asking roughly every ten minutes when she could go to it. Hannah could feel Lyvie's body tense in her arms, afraid that she was going to be told that she had to wait again.

"Only if I can go with you, alright?" Hannah set her down and huffed, "and only because you asked fifteen times now."

Olyvia began to bounce on her toes. Her blonde curls in pigtails bouncing and swaying with each jolt. She giggled mischievously while she clapped her hands quietly.

Hannah turned to the woman still standing next to her. "It was nice talking to you..." she trailed off, not even having asked her name, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Carmen." She answered.

"I'm sorry, Carmen." She shrugged and tilted her head to her daughter, "clearly four-year-olds make the rules around here."

"As they should." Carmen smiled at Olyvia, "I hope you find a lot of frogs out there."

Lyvie's face lit up as she looked to the woman, "Me too!"

"Hey Lyv, what happens if we find a toad or salamander instead of frogs?" Hannah smiled when Olyvia's eyes widened.

Lyvie gasped, "I don't know!" She lifted her arms and slapped them down on her sides.

"Didn't think of that, huh?" She teased.

Carmen laughed at the sarcasm and dramatics.

"Mommy we gotta hurry!" She tugged on Hannah's pant leg, then turned to Carmen, "do you want to help?"

Hannah couldn't hide her shock, her eyes wide.

Carmen answered with an "of course! But I'm not sure I'm any good at it."

"That's okay!" Lyvie told her. "You can just stay with Mommy then."

"Oh, n-no, you don't have to." Hannah reassured her as they followed closely behind Olyvia who bounded out the door. Hannah leaned closer, which let her smell the wonderful perfume Carmen wore. She tried to ignore the way it affected her body and whispered, "I don't have the heart to tell her that it's still a bit too cold for a lot of frogs."

Carmen smiled, "It's like you said, four-year-olds make the rules, right? Who am I to disobey?" They laughed, "Plus, this is getting me out of small talk with a bunch of strangers. I've been talking all night with so many people, and I only just flew in yesterday."

"So, you prefer one-on-one with a stranger then?"

Carmen smirked, "well, answering one person's questions seems optimal over the same repetitive questions."

She had a point. "Touché. I'm Hannah, by the way." Carmen shook the hand that Hannah outstretched.

"See, less of a stranger already." Carmen smiled and winked.

Wait. Was that a wink? A real, honest-to-God wink? Good thing she continued to walk, or her knees would have buckled.

Hannah's mind raced. Who was this woman, and why did she feel like everything in her life had shifted again?

"So, if you only flew in yesterday, how did you know about the wedding? You said you're here on a business trip, right?"

They sat down on the Adirondack chairs by the pond while Lyvie walked slowly around the perimeter. She occasionally would squat or bend over to look into the water for lifeforms.

"Lyv, please don't lean too close to the water, okay?" She hollered. That's the last thing she needed, a sopping wet child to clean off.

"My colleague's wife couldn't make it, so he asked if I would go with him. I'm here assisting with a merger for my company. It's actually pretty substantial - well, for me anyway. This is kind of an important piece to my whole... endgame of sorts." She took a sip of her drink. "If I do well here, then I'll be up for a promotion."

"Wow. That sounds stressful." Carmen turned to Hannah, "albeit a great success to get to this point. Obviously, a lot of hard work, discipline and dedication had to be put into it."

"You're not wrong. It can be demanding and has the tendency to beat you down sometimes. With mergers comes changes, and not a lot of people like that. I'm no stranger to rumors and having people talk and complain about me behind my back. I've heard some awful things before. People don't really like change." Carmen looked out to the distance, lost in thought.

Hannah couldn't help but look at her profile. Even with heavy thoughts weighing this woman down, she was strikingly beautiful. She took a deep inhale to calm herself. "Change, I guess, along with anything, can change people's goals. But it can be something to look forward to. It can be a conversation starter, sure, granted, it might not always be good talk, even when it's something as simplistic as someone new coming to town."

Carmen turned to Hannah; brow raised in question.

Hannah lifted a palm up, "speaking about myself. People will talk about everything, complain about anything." Hannah saw Carmen nod. "I used to be new to this town and that was a change for some people. A single mom from out of town moving in, gave them all something to gossip about for a long time. I can't imagine how it would be when it's your job to make changes."

She exhaled at Hannah's words. "Yeah, it's a task all on its own." She gestured to Hannah, "but personal gossip is a whole other ball game. They were probably just shocked. Being a single mother isn't an easy task."

Hannah laughed. "Oh, if you only knew of the shock, and gossip that happened, when they dug up the rest of my story. Some not-so-great things were said." She wasn't even sure why she was talking so much. She looked at Carmen, and for some reason, her expressions and her eyes seemed so inviting. It had been so long since there was someone that was so fully interested. That cared enough to listen. She also felt the need to explain Jason. "My brother helped calm them down though. And ever since Lyvie and... everything, he's pretty protective."

"Well, hopefully I have someone on my team like him to help smooth things over when the bomb drops."

Hannah shrugged, "I don't know. He's not always the best. You could find someone better suited for the job than him." She joked. "I'm pretty sure he was just using my daughter to pick up women earlier tonight."

Carmen laughed. "Well, if it worked for him, I may just have to borrow her myself and see if she does the trick." She smirked at her.

Lyvie ran into Hannah's knees with a thud, "I found the frogs, but they all swimmed away."

Hannah exhaled a small laugh, "honey, that's okay. Remember what we said before?" She ran a hand over the fly away hairs that came loose from her pigtails and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

"Hmm. Let them go and be safe?"

"That's right. We don't have to pick them all up." Lyvie began to climb Hannah's knees to sit in her lap. She quickly crawled and snuggled hard into her neck. Hannah let out a small groan.

"I know, it's past your bedtime." She whispered and rubbed her back gently.