Lost Love

"Rizzoli, get downstairs.  Dr. Isles has some new information on John Doe." 

I pick up morning coffee and make my way to the elevator to go to the basement to see what Maura has on John Doe.  I am in the elevator, and it opens up. I make my way through the double door of the coroner's  department.  I see Maura looking sexy in her  black scrubs with her adidas tennis shoes on.

"Maura, the captain, told me you have something new for me on our John Doe. What is it, and please use terms I can use."

" Jane, it is not my fault you don't want to expand your vocabulary knowledge.  Anyway, John Doe is Bernard Healey.  He owns a fishing supply store. I think that maybe the reason we found him on the docks.  Do you see this marking? It's from a fishing hook."

I texted the name to Korsak, my brother,  Frankie, and Frost, my partner and good friend. They can begin looking into information on Bernard Healey. My text states he owns a fishing supply store on the docks. His stomach had the hole from a fishing hook per Maura.  I stopped texting and put my cell phone back in its holder on my belt. I look at Maura admiring her beauty. It's close for us to get off of work on Friday.

"Jane, if you don't have any dinner plans tonight.  I was hoping you could stay the weekend and bring your laundry with you.  I will make dinner and we can watch some movies.  You know I don't like being in my home alone when it is thundering.  Angela is away for the weekend, or she would check in on me. I feel safer with you next to me in my bed. I will wear pajamas if you like."

" Maura, it's okay. You sleep in the nude.  You and Hope always tell me it is healthier sleeping in the nude.  You sleep, however, makes you comfortable.  I will be at your place in an hour and half. I will bring the beer."  "No

need, I have the beer you like."

Maura looks up with her honey hair and smiles. My stomach is in knots.  Jane looks tired and so cut. My stomach is doing summer saults. She leaves and I place Bernard in the cooler and remove my gloves and wash up. I enter my office and put the last notes into my computer on Bernard Healey and save it. I log off my computer and turned it off. I get my Burberry black winter coat,  my purse and keys. I turned off the lights in my office and lock my office door. I am the last one here until the next shift shows up. I lock the back door, turn off the lights, and lock the double doors. I wait for the elevator and get in when it arrives. I finally is blue Prius and leave.  It's pouring really hard outside.  I finally arrive at my home and hour and half later. I lock my car up and go inside.  I hang up my coat and now in my bedroom and take off my tennis shoes and place them in my closet.  I get undressed and take a shower. I put on some lounge wear with my slippers.  I go see what I can make. Jane should be here about thirty minutes. I decided to make turkey burgers with bacon,  cheese,  avocado slices,  lettuce, and bbq sauce.   The meat is cooking on the stove. I take put crinkling fries and place them on the cookie sheet and place them in the oven that is already preheated. I turn the  hamburgers over once and then go to my refrigerator to pour myself a glass of red wine. I take a few sips before I start cleaning the mess I made so far. Jane drives up and I let her inside with her dirty laundry.  It is definitely over a weeks worth. She had laundry detergent with her.  She goes to my laundry room to start her laundry. She goes back outside to get her clothes and comes back in.

"Maura, I am going to take a quick shower.  I have three weeks of laundry to do."

I tell her okay. She leaves to take a shower.  I take a big gulp thinking when am I ever going to tell her I am in love with her. She is the sole reason I always ended my relationships and broke my engagements.  I turn over the hamburgers again. I finish my wine and put the bottle away. I put the wine glass in the dishwasher. I am listening to some classical music and singing when Jane comes from behind and turns the hamburgers over.

" Sorry, I  didn't want you to burn our food."  " I am hungry and will eat two hamburgers.  I am glad you are making three, and I am guessing they are turkey burgers."

" Yes, you eat too much red meat.  The fries are done, too."

Jane sets the kitchen table and gets us two beers to drink. She removes the cap and takes a big sip before we make our hamburgers.  I added Himalayan salt and a little pepper to the French fries. We both serve ourselves.  I tell siri to turn off the music.  We sit down after I lock the back door and turn on the alarm. Jane's hair is damp but fuck she looks good even without her makeup. I imagine her naked next to me. She is in her sweat pants with her black sports bra and slippers.  Her physique is gorgeous, just like her. I take a big sip of my beer.

" Maura, thanks for making dinner. I will do the dishes. Are you okay?"

Maura is zoned out. I place my left hand in to get her attention.  She is eating her hamburger.

" Sorry, yes I was just thinking is all." " Maura it must of been good.  I have been talking to you for a bit and you were some place else.   What were you thinking about?"

I know I cannot tell her I want her to make love to me. I have had both male and female but Jane has only been with males. 

" Its nothing.  Sorry!"

"Maura, it was something you're breaking out in hives."  

I knew I needed to tell her the truth. 

" I have been thinking about our future and all."

Maura is telling the truth because she is isn't breaking out with more hives. We talk about the case as we enjoy our dinner.  Maura finally says no more shop talk. We finish  and I go do the dishes. Maura turns her stereo on and is dancing swaying her hips. It is driving me crazy.  I ended up breaking a plate and she stops.  She goes and get a broom and dust pan then returns.

"Maura sorry about that."  " Jane it's okay.  It's just a plate. I have many others. As long as you are okay is all that matters to me."

She puts the  broom and dust pan away and returns. She and I are in the laundry room. She is folding her clothes and leaves with them after cleaning out the lint trap.  I transfer my clothes to the washer and hit start.  I add clothes to the wash machine and add detergent and fabric softener my nother bought me. I close the lid and start it.

Maura begins dancing again and grabs my hands. She places them on my waist and places her hands around my neck. She moves closer to me. I can feel my heart beating faster. We start slow dancing to a few songs. She removes her hands around from my neck and turns around. I place my hands back around her waist. She moves them and places my hands and arms around her abs.  Maura stays in shape like me. We do a lot of jogging together and other exercises too. She has me do yoga once in a while. She knows I don't care for yoga but only do it to pacify her. I can feel her heart beating faster and I know she can hear my breathing changing. She is backing her butt into me. I move away.

" Maura, I  am going to pop some popcorn.  Go choose some movies for us to watch.  I will bring the bowl and two sodas."

I think dang it, Jane isn't getting the hint.  I will have to be blunt for her to understand what I want.  I will do it later on or in the morning. I find a scary movie so I can cuddle with Jane. She knows,  I don't like scary movies.   I choose one and it begins to play. Jane returns with our sodas and bowl of popcorn. Jane hands me my soda and sits next to me. My feet and legs are on the on the couch. She places her legs on my coffee table.

I know Maura doesn't like scary movies. She is freaking me out tonight. I go with the flow. A scary part returns. She jumps and moves her head facing me. She is scared.  Her lips look yummy.  All I want to do is kiss her but won't. We finish the sodas and popcorn. She gets up to clean up.  I go to laundry room to fold my clothes and start another load.  I am talking outlook with the door open. I am saying I don't know how much more I can handle being so turned on close to Maura before I kiss her.

I hear Jane and am pleased she wants to kiss me too. She is done with folding and leaves and I rush to the couch.  She places them on the table and sits down with me. I have Hope floats on. I jump in her lap when the thunder is loud. Jane looks at me and brings me close to her.

"Maura nothing will happen to you while I am here. I got you. You can stay on my lap or lay your head down if you like."

I get off of her. I get a blanket and lay with my head on her lap covering my body up with a blanket. I am facing the TV.  Her fingers are touching my arms and it soothes me. We are done for the night. All clothes folded. Dishwasher is being ran. We did our nightly routine.  I am nude under the covers.  Jane is only wearing her underwear. She and I are next to one another. The thunder is loud again and I jump with one arm and one leg over her body.  I can hear her heart beat. She kisses the top of my head.  I want her to kiss not only the top of my head.

I know I am gonner with Maura.  I fall asleep. I can tell Jane fell asleep.

" Jane, it's always only been you. I broke off my engagements and relationships because it's not fair. I am in love with my best friend. I don't know if you realize that. I call you to my department not because I have new information. It's because I need to see you and breathe in the same air as you."

I fall asleep.