In(Secure) Love

One Sunday, I found myself feeling completely depressed and lost in my thoughts. I kept asking myself, Why me? Everyone else's life seemed perfect, while mine felt like a mess. I didn’t have any talents—I've tried so many things, but my interests always fade away. I don’t want to live like this. I’m not good-looking, so no one seems interested in marrying me. I can’t change my appearance, and I can’t afford cosmetic procedures to fix my beauty. I’ve failed in everything I’ve tried to earn money. But one thing has always sparked my interest: drawing. So, I’ve decided to pursue illustration seriously and learn it properly.

I set 30 days as my target to get a job, so I started learning illustration. To be honest, at some point, I started losing interest in illustration as well (LOL). But I didn’t have a choice, so I forced myself to keep going. I struggled a lot but learned very little. In the meantime, I decided to apply for jobs on the side (LOL). Even though I didn’t know much about illustration, I applied to several companies—mostly the top ones (LOL).

At some point, I completely stopped learning and instead focused on applying for jobs. I applied, refreshed my email, and waited to hear back. I kept this up for 10 days, and not a single job offer came my way—mostly because I had no experience (LOL). So, I decided to “fake it till I make it” and added 2 years of experience to my resume (LOL). I rewrote my resume, confident that this would do the trick. I applied to more jobs, even with my shiny new “2 years of experience” listed. And guess what? Still, no one contacted me (LOL).

By this point, I was not only tired of illustration but also completely exhausted from applying to jobs. Days dragged on, and finally, the 29th day arrived.

That day, I was so tired of checking my emails that I decided to sleep for 4 hours during the daytime (LOL). I missed a call, but I didn’t even notice because my phone was on silent (typical). When I woke up an hour later, I saw my phone. Someone had called me—probably a telemarketer or something—I never call back unknown numbers (LOL).

Then I checked my email, and there it was: a message from LGC, a famous animation company, inviting me for an interview. I was in complete shock. I don’t even remember applying to that company! They mentioned the interview was scheduled for two days from then.

How did I even manage that? I have no idea.

I prepared for my interview, but I was still incredibly nervous. I didn’t have much knowledge of Illustrator—just the basics of the tools. And the fact that I’d added fake experience made it even worse. But I didn’t have a choice; I had to go to the interview. I wasn’t in the position to stress over the results—I had to stay motivated.

So, I went to the interview. I waited nervously, and then a girl working there called my name. I entered the interview room, greeted everyone, and handed them my resume. They said, "We’re in a hurry to select employees, so there’s no time to check your illustration skills. We’ll only ask you some questions.

Hearing that, I gained a bit of hope—10%, maybe—but I still wasn’t confident in my knowledge. They began asking questions, and somehow, I managed to answer.

After the interview, they told me they would send the results via email. I left the company, still unsure of what to expect.

Two days after the interview, I received an email from that company. I opened it, and yes—it was really a miracle (LOL)—they selected me as a Junior Illustrator. The thing was, instead of feeling happy, I just felt scared. At some point, I was sure I’d get caught and exposed for my fake experience (LOL). I basically put all my doubts on God and told myself to just go with it. Slowly, I started to feel a bit of happiness.

Finally, I had a job.