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"All I wanted was you | The fairytale you sold me | A taste of what you'd told me | You put the stagger in me | You wanna see if I bleed | I leave a dagger in you | Now who sings those blues?" - Gin Wigmore - Devil In Me
I awoke hung-over and cramped in a single bed, smothered by Taylor Cadley for the second time in my life. The first time having been just as memorable as this time, but for entirely different reasons, I'd just been dumped, right on my butt.
But it was something I should have seen coming, really. When you start dating someone while pretending to be their male roommate, it's likely that it will send them running screaming back to their cheating ex. Which will lead you to find a message on their phone from the ex, letting you know that you're the only one in the twisted triangle that doesn't realise you're a rebound and a bad rebound at that.
Now I'm aware of how that all sounds, but I don't cross dress and explore peoples phones for fun. I'm also not crazy, let's just start by emphasising that point. It all started with a class assessment investigating cultural difference. We, as a class, were set the task of choosing an aspect of our lives that was full of self-righteousness and arrogance and completely smashing the assumptions to tiny little pieces and learn to look through someone else's eyes. I had made the mistake of picking a fight with the guy currently drooling in my hair, while rubbing his morning glory against my lower back in his sleep.
He walked into my life as an arrogant, party boy player and changed it forever... but not as the boy I fall head over heels for and live happily ever after with. Hell no, that's gross. This isn't a romance novel. Get your head out of the clouds, princess.
He had defended his sluttish ways and I had fought to assert my female glory in this day and age and made myself come off as a feminist lesbian... Taylor's words, not mine. Isn't he lovely?
I spent two weeks, dressed as a boy, fooling everyone I met in my new world, including the roommate I was put with Jake Brennan. That was when things started getting messy as I tried to date Jake and live with him as my alter ego 'Lockie'. Taylor got caught in the middle of it as my 'how-to-be-a-boy' advisor and Jake ended up thinking that I was dating Taylor behind his back and it brought out issues between them too, because Jake's ex Milly cheated on Jake with Taylor (and a whole bunch of other guys too!) and the wounds hadn't healed. ...He also hadn't gotten over her, like at all.
So when I was in his room, hanging out with him attaching myself and my feelings to Jake, because he is gloriously good looking and really nice. I was devastated when he got a message and he had his preview text messages setting on and I could read the message she sent him calling me a rebound, confessing her love and basically being a nosy little biotch that should never have sunk her claws back into my man.
He chose her, which sucks. This is why I ended up in Taylor's bed. I fell asleep watching zombie movies with him and my actual roommate Kathy, who pretended to be my girlfriend and cheated on me with Taylor behind my boy back. It was her idea to shot vodka every time someone would decapitate a head and I felt like doing that to Jake and Milly. This explains my throbbing head and cotton mouth this morning.
...So that answers the in bed with strange boy's situation questions. Back to reality...
"Taylor, wake up," I groaned and groaned again when he groaned and pulled me closer to him with his arm around my waist. "Taylor!" I laughed as he got himself comfortable again and sighed happily, when his hand rested on my left boob, giving the smallest of squeezes.
"Hmm, what?" He asked, finally waking up properly enough to lift his head. "No, more sleep please," He mumbled, resting his head back on the pillow, his eyes still closed.
"Oh my god, I hate you," I sighed, throwing his hand off me and sitting up properly in the small bed.
"You say such sweet things to me in the morning," He murmured, smiling into the pillow.
"And you're handsy as hell and hard as a rock," I rolled my eyes and watched a small smile that graced his tired lips turn into a devilish grin.
"Well, you cosy up to me and you have boobies, I can't help where they roam in the night," he peaked at me with one eye, still wearing the smirk. His light hair was sticking out every which way and the pillow had left lines on his handsome tanned face.
"You're a mess, Cadley," I told him curtly as I picked up my phone to check it. He set his head on his hand and stretched out his muscular body while yawning, next to me.
"But I'm a hot mess and don't you forget it," He grinned, poking my arm.
"Whatever you say," I rolled my eyes. "Have you heard of any jobs going around here lately?" I asked him.
"I'd offer you a job as my maid, but you can't pull off the elderly sultry look that Consuela does," He shrugged and I pushed his head back down into the pillow as he laughed.
"Stop it, I'm serious," I told him. "My parents expect me to get a job to start covering some of my personal expenses while I'm here."
"Well actually, I think they're looking for a casual admin person at my gym," He murmured.
"Do I look the type to be working at the gym?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and a slight panic crossed his face.
"That's you asking if you're skinny right? I, as a male, am not supposed to answer honestly, right?" he demanded, looking panicked.
"Oh ha. Ha." I rolled my eyes. "I'm fully aware I don't have a six pack and an ass that could crack a walnut."
"At least we are both aware of it then, pudgy," He murmured, looking me up and down with disgust.
"Shut up, or I'll smother you with my pudge. I'm sorry that I enjoy sleeping more than getting up at the butt crack of dawn to go grunt and throw heavy things nowhere in particular." He laughed as I glared at him.
"You would be happy to know then that they will keep you in a darkened room that holds no exercise equipment and throw you a couple fish heads every now and then as a treat," He grinned and I continued glaring.
"You're so mean," I muttered and he fell back on the bed sighing.
"Fine, fine. I'm mean, I'll let someone else get your job at the gym and will never help you ever again," He rolled his eyes dramatically, laying his toned forearm over his eyes. "But seriously," He sat back up grinning, "I was speaking to the owner of the gym about it yesterday, He just needs some podgy little brunette to file some things a couple of hours a week and maybe wipe a few pieces of equipment down with the trainers after it closes. If I had of known you, as a podgy brunette, needed a casual job I would have told him about you," He was grinning as he spoke and we both knew I wanted to wipe that smile off his face.
"I get it, I'm podgy," I glared at him.
"...and brunette," He added, still grinning.
"I hate you," I continued to glare him down.
"All sorted then, I'll message Toby now," He reached over for his phone and threw the cover back to hop out of the bed. "Going for a piss, be back," He told me as he pulled on tracksuit pants over his boxers and grabbed a shirt as he opened the door and closed it behind him after he had stepped out into the hallway.
A couple minutes later, I was putting my jumper back over my head when the door to the room opened. A brunette, scruffy haired boy walked in and stopped at the sight of me. He was average height and the black shirt he had on looked old and too big for him.
"Glad I didn't come home last night," He muttered under his breath and continued on his way. I watched him as dumped his backpack on his bed. "If you're waiting around for him to come back, he's probably avoiding the room waiting for you to leave. You hooked up with a player last night," Taylor's roommate threw over his shoulder. "He's an asshole that way."
"I didn't hook up with Taylor last night," I told the boy who was obviously sick of Taylor's humping and dumping.
"If that's what you want everyone to believe..." He sighed. "Just don't start crying until after you're gone. I won't hug you." I looked at him with amusement.
"Bitter, much?" I laughed at him and he glanced at me with a smirk.
"Trying being his roommate and not be bitter, he's a player and his bed is never empty for long. I like having my own personal space, it makes it hard," He sighed. "But anyway, you're in my way. Taylor won't be coming back. You should really get going on your walk of shame," He motioned with his hands towards the door, basically shooing me out of the room. I backed onto the bed from the edge and crossed my legs.
"I'm good here thanks," I told him trying not to sound too arrogant and he rolled his eyes just as Taylor walked back into the room. His roommate looked from me to Taylor and back to me as I smiled sweetly in a 'see, I was right' Sort of way.
"'Sup Blake?" Taylor asked as he spotted him on his side of the room.
"Nothing," Blake responded and turned around again to continue to unpack his back pack.
"Blake here, was just telling me to leave because you weren't going to come back after we hooked up last night," I told Taylor who laughed as I watched the only cheek I could see of Blake's redden from embarrassment.
"Hook up? Ew," Taylor pulled a face at me.
"Back at you," I replied, giving him the same face.
"Sorry," Blake murmured towards me, with a shrug.
