Another me
Celestine was going back home from her tuition, which was very far from her home. It was also raining that day, so she reached home very late.
She took a shortcut road to reach home quickly even though she knew that place had a haunted house and whoever went too close to it would disappear suddenly. They also had found bodies in Celestine's neighborhood badly hurt and worst part dead.........
Even though she did not believe in ghosts, something in her mind kept pestering her fear. A bright flash almost blinded her. A car came rushing towards her like a hungry animal, and it was all dark.
She woke up with bruises all over her, and she felt something wriggling over her a tickling sensation. She was on a half-broken wooden bed.
She tried to get up but everything was blurry and her head was spinning like hell. Snap! The bed broke and she fell on the floor. The floor was wet! A window suddenly opened, the wind rushing in and the moonlight fell on her palms. She realized she was sitting in a pool of blood and insects. She tried to scream but there was no sound, she lost her voice. The window emitted a strange aura she wanted to reach it but she was too weak. She struggled a lot but finally reached the window. The haunted house was directly visible from her bedroom, but you won't believe what she saw.
In her bedroom, there was another girl a replica, an exact copy of her staring right at Celestine with a grin on her or.... its face!
Nice start! Just need to improve grammar and the overall writing style a bit, but otherwise very good.
you have an interesting premise, but you need to engage the senses. want is the character thinking, feeling, and experiencing. Don't be afraid to show the characters' fear and anxiety.
Very spooky and intriguing beginning! I think by adding more descriptive parts to the character to further enhance the plot (even heighten the suspense) will make it more spooky!!! 🤗🖤