CHAPTER ONE
Holly Hill Veterinary Hospital.
2021.
Oh, that's a lot of blood.
Breathe, Ellie.
Just breathe.
My eyes lock on the gigantic dog who's currently bouncing around the examination room, acting as if it's a game of catch me while I nurse the side of my head.
It all happens so quickly. One minute I'm on my feet, trying my best to stop the dog from moving and the next I'm tripping over the lead rope and falling straight into the sharp edge of the treatment table.
"Ellie!" Dante shouts at me as he's halfway through administrating the pain relief to the ten-year-old rescue dog, Rex, who's now growling playfully and wiggling his backend everywhere. "Are you all right? I told you not to release his shoulders!"
I press my hand against my head, seeing the blood print my skin when I lower my arm to check over my fingers. Oh, and here's the dizziness.
"Oh, my gosh! I step out of the room for five minutes and then look what happens," says Jennifer, the vet nurse in a patronising tone.
Dante looks up at her to smile and I get the usual pang of hurt in my chest. I think he's agreeing with her as usual. Of course he is, because I'm so bloody clumsy.
"I can take you to the hospital if you want?" says Jennifer.
"Oh, no, that's okay," I say a little too brightly, feeling nauseous and quietly shook up by the whole thing. "I'll be fine!"
Dante wipes his wet hands down at the sink when he looks at his girlfriend before studying me. "Thank you, babe. That's a good idea. I want you to go to the hospital to get checked out, Ellie."
"Dante," I say, because hospitals are hard for me and he knows this. "Please—?
The chestnut in his shiny brown locks really comes to life under the sharp overhead lighting. "No questions. You need someone to look at your head."
I watch the blood drip past my eyelid and know deep down he's right and I need to suck it up, but my fear is very real and he wouldn't usually push it
"Okay," I say, using the end of the table to pull myself up. "I can take myself."
"Don't be so ridiculous." Jennifer chimes in, her eyes narrowing in on me. "You could end up killing yourself, or even worse, a child!"
I open my eyes a second later to find so much hatred in the depths of her expression. It's not working out for her. Me being around. Her boyfriend's ex-partner who he's taking under his wing.
I don't want any animosity. I understand her troubles. It's not ideal, but I'm grateful for Dante's kindness in my hour of need. And meddling in his relationship is the last thing I want to happen.
Dante is on the floor with the dog, arm securing around its chest so he can stop him from leaping everywhere. My eyes peel from him to Jennifer who's watching me.
I hold up my hands. "Okay. Thank you, Jennifer."
Dante calls out my name when I aim for the door, a huge chunk of tissue in his hand. "You need to press this against the wound."
I take it as a fresh wave of dizziness hits me. My feet stumble and he's up and holding my shoulders to steady me.
He frowns. "Whoa, you okay?"
I shake my head to clear the wooziness. The light colours in the room blurring into one as I stare up at him, trying to make out his handsome features and floppy hair. To be honest, this is all a bit embarrassing.
I laugh, but he doesn't. "I'm fine, honest."
Well, you don't look it. Let me help you out to the car," he says, telling Jennifer to put Rex in the kennels while he grabs the car keys from the pot at the reception desk.
"Babe, I got it," she insists, pushing his hands away from me, but he's insistent on walking me out of the waiting room and across the pebbly car park.
I feel one of his hands leave my back to wave at our regular client, Mrs Marshall - the lady who always thinks her cats have some deadly disease - to open Jennifer's car.
I climb inside the passenger door and turn to stare up at him when he rests his hands on the outside of the roof. "This is a lot of fuss."
The blue in his eyes intensifies, but then he's stepping back at the sound of Jennifer's voice. I keep the tissue firm against my skull, watching her round the front of the car to grab his face and kiss him out of nowhere.
Suddenly, the ring on my finger becomes ever so entertaining as I try to block out the sloppy noises until Dante is pulling away to close my car door.
Next, I'm trying to block out their voices, but it's hard with them so close. By the sounds of it, she's telling him off for something, and this is why I wanted to take myself. Less drama.
There's a soft knock on the window, and when I go in search of the sound, I see Dante alone and smiling at me on the other side. That soft smile and head tilt are his way of asking if I'm going to be okay.
I lift my free hand and wave before changing it over so my other arm that's aching gets a break from holding my head. The driver's door opens, and Jennifer slides inside to start the engine.
"It's always nice to see him in those jeans instead of those ugly vet scrubs," she says to his retreating back.
I frown, wondering what she thinks of the ones she's always wearing. "It's part of the job, I guess."
The tyres push and pull the stones up when she drives out of the car park and onto the roads. It's sunny out, but I can smell the previous rain showers on the grass and trees when I lower the car window.
"I hope we didn't keep you up last night," she says with a girly giggle, eyes sliding over to me when I look over at her.
The sickness grows deeper in my gut. I put it down to the pounding between my temples and rest my head in my hands.
My silence doesn't satisfy her, so she carries on. "At one point the moaning got so loud I had to cover his mouth."
Lovely. I am glad I slept through and didn't hear their sex noises. That really would be traumatising.
"I'm not sure what you want me to say," I reply, wishing for silence for the rest of the car journey.
I'm collected and cool on the outside, but on the inside I'm shouting at her to be quiet. To stop torturing me with the knowledge that the guy who means the most has moved on from me.
The chapter is closed, and it's painful. It's difficult to think of him loving somebody else and all the things that come with it. I know they're intimate, but hearing it hits me way worse.
The country roads are a great distraction while we spend the next however many minutes in silence. It works for me. I would rather we say nothing than anticipate her next words.
It seems I don't get my wishes when she opens her mouth again. "How long ago did you and Dante break up?"
I sit here and wonder if it's a trick question because surely she would ask Dante and not me.
I tread carefully. "Well over three years."
"Hmm," she says, looking back out to the road. "Do you plan to try to get him back?"
It's way more complicated than just wanting him back. Our past. It's so scarred and filled with pain. I'm unsure we could ever go back or even try for something new.
"Dante is doing me a favour. This is nothing more, Jennifer," I respond.
"You see. I don't think you're telling me the truth. I wouldn't do such a big favour for any of my exes unless there was something in it for me," she says.
I stay silent, unsure of how to approach this now. If she's insecure about me being around, then she needs to take it up with her boyfriend.
Her eyes are on me again. "You don't have an answer?"
"That's Dante," I whisper, still noticing the sensations raking me at saying his name. "Always looking out for everyone."
"My selfless man," she says, turning the radio up to drown me out.
I have never been more grateful to see the sign for the hospital, so I jump out as soon as she hits the entrance of the accident and emergency.
It's busy in here, but I find a seat after checking in at reception. I'm waiting a while before the triage nurse calls me through for an examination, then she's telling me to sit back in the waiting room for a doctor.
My phone buzzes with a message from Dante. A courtesy message asking how it's going and to let me know Jennifer is back with him at the Holly Hill. It's okay. I never expected for her to wait.
I let him know I'm waiting for the doctor, but he's messaging between patients, so there's a delay. There's something about the smell of hospitals. It instantly fills my gut with dread. And those long ceiling lights.
My phone buzzes just as the doctor calls my name. I shove it in my pocket and head over to the friendly lady with a clipboard pressing against her chest.
It turns out I need the gash gluing, so she does that for me and sends me on my way with a leaflet about signs of concussion. The entire ordeal takes thirty minutes max, proving there really was nothing to worry about.
I grab a can of Coke from the vending machine near the hospital entrance and make plans on how to get back to the vet clinic. There's a long list of taxi numbers printed on the wall, but I don't have my purse with me, so the only other choice I have is to get the bus.
At least they take a contactless payment.
I'm shuffling my way out of the electric doors, Coke in hand and face buried in my phone when I hear my name being called by Dante. I look up, and find him striding across the zebra crossing, hand in the air, thanking the cars for stopping for him.
I have to catch my smile, because it's so ridiculously relaxed, I swear I look half-crazed. A loose blue scrub tee on his top half and a tight black pair of jeans on his bottom, I wonder if people will confuse him for a doctor.
"Hey?" I say confusedly, meeting him at the edge of the kerb where he folds his muscled arms over his chest as he steps out of the way of the cars.
He studies my head. Or the huge plaster covering the wound. "Hey, did everything go good in there?"
I clear my throat and straighten up by lifting the leaflet at his dark expression. "All good."
His eyebrows turn down when he grabs a quick glance at his watch. "We best get back to the surgery. I left Jennifer alone there."
"Of course, come on," I say, and we walk back to his car. "Thank you for coming to get me."
"It's fine, Ellie," he says, tone sharp as he strides a few spaces in front of me. "Let's go. We need to be quick."
