01 - Jace / Winter
He could still remember the taste of Ethan’s lips. He could remember their texture, how soft they were; his hands when playing with his hair; his blue eyes looking at him.
His voice asking for a kiss.
Yet now Jace was staring at his pictures with Aiden, his boyfriend, and their dog Flora in Japan. He didn’t regret what he did, breaking up so they could be together, but it still stinged.
Jace missed Ethan’s embrace deeply. It was a spectre looming on his shoulders, that ‘what if’, but he also knew that nothing would’ve changed. Aiden and Ethan would’ve ended up together, one way or the other.
It wasn’t the fact he was still in love with him, no, because as a matter of fact, he wasn’t. It was the feeling he missed. The warmth that used to spread in his chest; the palpitations; the sweaty hands, even.
His phone rang. He let the voicemail do its job and kept looking at the photos.
“Hello, Jace, it’s Matt. Just wanting to tell you we sent the new rehearsal schedule to your mail. It would be great if you could tell us about anything that needs to be modified. Have a good day!”
Jace sighed, closing his eyes. He was living his dream, being an actor, and for about four years it had become his only job. But Jace felt so empty, away from his friends and family.
He closed the computer.
“Jace, give me one more minute!” a female voice called.
“Sure,” he said. Jace wasn’t in love with Ethan anymore, but he was still looking for the same feelings he had felt while with him. It was difficult to explain: he was constantly searching for something that could fill in the void. Laurel was someone new, and she was somehow managing to help a little.
But it wasn’t the only reason.
“Here I am, here I am.” She snuck into bed, hugging Jace. Her brown hair brushed his arm. “Sorry it took too long.”
“Nah, don’t worry.”
“You want me to help repeat your lines?”
Laurel owned a flower shop, but she was always happy to assist him even if she wasn’t the best actress. She was cute and kind, and also quite bubbly. So a good match for him, who needed someone lively.
“Yes, please.” He smiled and grabbed the two copies of the script, one with annotations -his- and one clean. He even had to sing! Heathers was a musical he had really tried his best to get a part in, and he had obtained the role of the main male lead, who ironically had the same name as him -Jason, even though he hated it.
“Did you send out the invitations? To your friends.”
“No. Ethan and Aiden are in Tokyo, my parents are elsewhere, my brother is abroad and… well, I suppose I could ask Kieran, if he has nothing else to do.” It had been a while since he had last seen his friend: they were always too busy, and Jace was afraid to bother him with the invitation.
“Yes! Why don’t you do it? It would be nice to see him, and I’d really like to meet him as well.” Laurel smiled kindly. “You always talk so much about Kieran, I feel like I already know him.”
“I can try.” Jace couldn’t deny it would have made his day to see him at the opening night. Seeing a dear friend, after so long, and to show him how good he was at acting, after obsessively talking about it. He was sure Kieran would be his best supporter.
“Jace, promise? I think it would be good for you.” Laurel kissed his cheek.
“Promise,” he said sweetly.
“Good. Now, let’s get to it. You can’t be the best if you don’t practice.”
A total success.
His throat hurt, he was sweating copiously, but it felt so good to hear the cheering. Jace smiled, proud of himself, basking in happiness.
Yes, that was his future, what he was meant to do from the beginning. The thing that made his heart feel so full, his belly warm, and his smile never-ending. So much satisfaction.
He was still smiling when he changed his clothes, when he removed the makeup, and when he got out in the pouring rain. Laurel was holding his arm, chuckling and telling him how magnificent he had been.
“You were crazy good! Like, the best! You were totally in character, I was even scared!”
Jace laughed. “Thank you, thank you, Lori! Always so kind, huh?”
“Jace,” a voice called, making him still.
Wait. He had sent the ticket but got no response, and now…?
He turned around.
Kieran was smoking, as usual, under a blue umbrella; his hair was neatly cut in an elegant style, the tattoos coming out of the scarf and sleeves, and his piercing reflecting the streetlights. He was gorgeous and holding a bouquet of lilies.
“Kieran…!” Jace exclaimed, surprised. “How long have you been here? Did you watch the show?”
“I did.” Kieran smiled kindly. “You were amazing, really, the best. Here,” he gave him the flowers. “For you.”
“Thank you! My god, I really wasn’t expecting anyone. Oh, where are my manners? This is Laurel, my girlfriend.”
“A pleasure!” she said enthusiastically. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“The pleasure is mine,” Kieran nodded. “Bubbly, just like you.”
“I know,” Jace chuckled. He smelled the flowers. Lilies were his favorites. “How did you know? About these, I mean.”
“What? You told me a dozen times.”
“I did?” Jace was confused, but it was also true that he would say a lot of stuff all the time. “Well, good for me.”
“Where are you sleeping?” Laurel inquired.
“Oh, no.” Kieran shook his head. “I’m going back tonight. I came here by car, I parked over there,” he nodded to their left.
“What? Really?” Jace asked, disappointed. “But… we haven’t seen each other in so long.”
“Stay at our place,” Laurel proposed, still euphoric from the show. “Why not?”
“You… You are living together.”
“Yeah. So? Would you like to?”
Kieran sighed. “I have no pajamas.”
“I’ll give you one of mine! C’mon!” Jace was so visibly happy, his face hurt from all the smiling. It was true he had managed to make friends, but the old ones? Kieran, Aiden and Ethan? No one could take their place.
