Under The Montana Skies

Most people said my life was perfect. Money, fame and one of the best female country singers.

But with all that came a lot of heartache.

Nobody actually saw how much I struggled to get to where I am today.

When I was eighteen I left home. I moved from my small hometown in Wisconsin and started college at NYU, with a visual and performing arts degree.

My parents scrapped by to send me but it was my dream to move to a big city and pursue my dreams.

It didn't take me long to be discovered. I did some modeling, sang at a few bars on the weekends and before I knew it I was starring in the number one movie of the year.

That's when the paparazzi started following me. They did anything to sell a story and didn't care who they hurt in the process, including my agent's fiancé.

He never told me he was getting married when I hired him or that he even had a girlfriend. We went to a meet and greet with fans after the movie premiere and one thing led to another. The next thing I knew I was the center of news.

That was a career ender for him and his fiancé ended their engagement. No matter how much I apologize to her it didn't take back what had happened though and I would forever feel bad about that. Over time, Amanda and I became friends... best friends actually, so not everything from that experience was bad.

I got cast in a new popular T.V. drama and continued to write my music. Sure the small news about who I was dating and my late party nights with so and so still circled but it was easy to ignore.

It was the need to be perfect that I couldn't ignore. I was scrutinized and every aspect of my life had been picked apart. I started getting self conscious about everything. What I ate, what I wore. Heaven forbid I eat a damn cheeseburger without someone saying I was pregnant. So I would hit the gym as much as I could to stay fit and really watched what I ate out in the public eye.

I went out and smiled for the cameras and my fans but I was dying inside. I hated the person I saw in the mirror and I thought drinking would help take it away so I drank....a lot, but it only numbed it for a short while and it eventually got me in trouble.

One night when I went out with some friends, I was caught leaving the club with two guys from our group. The pictures didn't look very good and the rumors spread. It didn't help that the two guys came forward days later, confirming what was being said about the pictures, making everyone think we had a threesome as we drank and got high together.

What they failed to mention was in the car after they decided they didn't want to go to my friend's house, they pulled out cocaine and wanted to have our own private party. I told them I didn't want any, I got out of the car and walked home.

I admitted to the underage drinking at the club but that didn't matter. People only heard what they wanted too.

My parents tried talking me into coming home for a while but I stayed and started the new movie I was cast in. I laid low, stopped going to parties and had another number one movie, which opened up another door for me... singing.

My new agent got me a record deal and I ended up packing up and moving to Nashville Tennessee.

For the past five years, I've become one of the most talked about country female artists and changed my reputation around. Yes, I was still talked about all of the time but I didn't give them more to talk about.

Then last year, I met someone. Ben Anderson, an architect from Chicago. He's been traveling back and forth from Chicago to Nashville, overseeing the new stadium being built for the Tennessee Titan's.

I was at a fancy restaurant in Nashville when he walked over to the bar and introduced himself to me. He worked hard for a few months, getting me to trust him before I said yes to a first date.

I was scared, not that he would hurt me but that he only wanted to be with me because of who I was. He won me over and for the past nine months we've been official and managed to stay out of the tabloids.

As far as everyone knew, I was single but there was speculation I was seeing someone.

I told him I wanted to stay private as long as possible until we got to know each other better. I didn't need the news or my fans meddling in our relationship and he understood that but I was ready to show him off and go out like a real couple would do.

I was backstage, getting ready.

Tonight was the last concert of my tour this year, then it was the start of my break. Ben and I were heading to Jamaica tomorrow for a week then when we got back we were going to be apart for a few weeks. Ben was heading to Chicago while I went back home to Wisconsin to visit my parents.

Unfortunately, he couldn't join me this time.

"Nora.... Nora.... Nora!" I heard my fans screaming as my band started playing.

Show time!