When I Found You

Annalise

They’re at it again. It consumes my life, but I’m not sure how to retreat. They say it’s in my blood and I’m the princess. I can’t help but feel like they are wrong though. Isn’t there more than stealing, drinking and other things I have seen them do?

Life wasn’t supposed to be like this. I see glimpses of my dad spinning my mom around the kitchen with smiles on their faces. Light flickering through the curtains as the rays of the sunset set a glow on their faces like it was meant for that moment. A moment captured in time behind my eyes. A bottle breaking erases the memory and sets me back in the present. My dad’s yelling at someone and I cover my ears to drown out his angry voice and the words he is spitting out.

Chaos is my life. No more of that perfect capsuled moment in time. No, that is just a mirage of what used to be, but will never be again.

I blink my eyes. Once. Twice. To ease the pain and to make myself not cry. No. Crying is weakness. I learned that when my mom passed away and my dad changed. No longer that loving husband and father. I turned into a pawn he could use in his new game. My new life.

The shouts get louder as people get drunk and party. I wish I could leave this place. School is the only refuge I have. But I’m a senior. Two more months and the small freedom I have will be gone.

I’m a princess here and a princess has her duties to uphold. I walk to the bathroom attached to my room and splash water in my face. As I dry my face, I look at myself in the mirror. My green eyes are vibrant tonight from the memory. I know they will soon fade to a dull green as reality sets back in. I grab the brush a take it through my long brown hair. Just to give my hands something to do. Stalling is what I’m doing.

He will knock on my door if I’m not out soon to entertain his loyal followers. My skin prickles at the thought of their eyes being on me, but I take a deep breath and make myself go out before he comes in. It’s always worse when he has to come get me. The cost is always too high and I lose myself each time.

As I walk to the door I steel my spine and remind myself that I am the princess. No more memories consume me, and I step out into the clubhouse hallway.

More crashing sounds surround me, but I keep walking. Showing weakness is not for a place like this.

“There she is.” A sickly sweet voice calls as I turn the corner. Veronica. My dad’s new wife. I wonder if she would be nice to me if I was someone else. She sees me as a threat here. She wants her daughter Stacy to be the club princess. She can have the title. I never wanted it anyway.

“Hey.” I say. Smiling brightly, so my armor doesn’t crack. “Where’s dad?” I ask.

She gives me a once over. Taking in my maxi dress, that looks like it belongs in a church. Not a clubhouse. If I’m honest though it’s a part of my armor. I don’t like their eyes on me. It’s the one thing dad has let me have. My own style. At least for now. That changes soon too.

“He’s doing business.” Her smile is saccharine. She knows I hate him stealing. I know there is worse he does, but I can’t bring myself to get lost in that. If I do, I won’t survive this place. And surviving is all I can do.

I give her a slight nod. Over this conversation. I want to get away. I go to turn when she grabs my wrist. “It would do you good to disappear.” Her voice quiet, but her meaning is there all the same. She wants me gone. That makes two of us.

I pull my arm free and walk away without a glance back. Bracing myself for the guys who like to look at me. In two months I will have to marry one. Uphold this legacy. One more scratch at my armor. I blink the thought away and keep walking.

I know where I’m going I’m not allowed. But that’s okay. If I want to talk with him I have to interrupt. I hear the guys voices as they make their plans the closer I get to the meeting door.

Once more I brace myself. Then I open the door. All eyes are on me as I make my way to the head of the table. He’s mad. I can tell by the set of his jaw. That’s okay though. I keep walking.

“This couldn’t wait?” He asks. His tone calculated. He’s barely holding himself together. I guess that makes two of us. Albeit different reasons.

“I wanted to ask if I could go to Olivia’s house once a week on Thursday’s. We have a writing project. It’s part of our final grade.” I swallow hard. The look on his face puts me on edge. I will pay for this later.

His face is stern. His brown eyes never leave mine. For one instant I wonder if he even thinks of her when he sees my eyes. But then he clears his throat and the thought disappears. “One hour max. Every Thursday. Elias will take you. Now leave my presence.”

I turn to leave. A quick look Elias’s way and our eye catch. He’s only been here five months. We have never said the first word to each other. He seems more invested in my dad’s club than my dad does at times. I’m instantly scared I just signed my life away.