The First Letter
January 29, 20xx
To whom these letters may reach. Please bear in mind that it was destiny that had done this.
Life and death are equal in their ways. One lives and one leaves this mortal place. Our life is connected to every construct of our actions. Negative actions have negative consequences. Each action of our life is connected to a single strand of the universal soul in which choices we pick. Each choice writes a different outcome for each one of us. Different choices, different results. We begin with breathing the essential vital lifeline that is oxygen; after that, we transcend into a life as human beings. We live with our own rules, and some of us like to defy these rules and commit atrocities, crimes, and manipulations. Every universe serves a different outcome of the choice that you made in the base timeline. A person questions himself about the outcomes if he had taken a different route of action regarding what he/she did. So I questioned myself: would things have gone differently if I hadn't made my decision to off myself?
I was often bullied as a child, always belittled, and always the last person to choose. Even in my senior days, my personal life was covered with hatred, fear, and depression. There were only a few people in my life who considered me to be a normal, functioning human and not as easy bait for bullies. It was in college that I met my wife Eleanor Brimsby. We've been through rough patches throughout our relationship. Be it financial problems or mental stability. We mostly argued over whose turn it was to take the kids to school or do the other chores, which were only light arguments. But this argument was something different. What I’m about to tell you is the truth and nothing but the whole truth. This letter hopefully proves to be useful evidence when my death has come. This first letter I am writing shall reveal one of the reasons why I have chosen to put an end to the life of Horatio Nowitzki.
It was a Monday morning when one of my most unexpected problems would appear and at that time I had come to work. I had taken our daughter to school as it had the same route on the way to my office. Eight hours' worth of paperwork had come upon my desk. During my work hours, my wife stayed at home to cook dishes and clean up around the house. It was at this time that her mistress came to our house. I didn’t have any available time to check the house during my work hours. I didn’t know what reason she had to create such a sin that was so unexpected and obliterating. It was that night that I came home from work. My energy was so drained that I had been working ever since 1 am till 11 pm. The door was left open, and it made me worried if we'd been robbed or worse. There was a noise of a woman and a man in my bedroom groaning and moaning; thus I checked to see who it was, and it turned out to be my best friend and my wife, doing the unspeakable thing! I know that you'll read this Eleanor Hopskin. I had loved you for 17 years, and it only took you a day or perhaps a month depending on the contact you had with your mistress. Almost half of my life was spent with you, ruined by your infidelity.
After that night, I ignored the pain I felt and disregarded it as if it were just some twisted dream. She approached me to talk about the sin she committed, and I stood there like an idiot listening to a dog speak. This isn’t my wife anymore. I had lost her. I never bothered to listen to a word she said. Everything was blank. However I did remember something, and that was about how she’ll keep our kid with my friend. Should I even call him a friend? After my wife went back to their room, it was my friend’s turn to talk to me. Telling me that it was supposed to be them in the end and that I got in the way of their true love. Another thing he told me was that if it wasn’t for me, they’d never have struggled to keep their love from me. I couldn’t speak or express my feelings from that time. But now I wish that I was brave enough to face him then. Why did my wife even marry me if I was just an obstacle to their love story? I felt that all these years were just a deception, and Ellie was lucky not to have been there to witness their infidelity, but I felt Disgust, self-doubt, the erasure of my self-esteem, and trust issues. Each of these emotions was fulfilling me. As if a moment later I will burst like a balloon and fragments of my emotions will rain from the sky. How badly I wanted to die at that moment. But I had to keep on going towards life. Suicide didn’t come to my mind that time yet. But I wonder-will I still be able to finish off these letters? Or deliver myself to the gates of hell before I write my words out.
Signed,
Horatio Nowitzki.
