Friend's 'n Funerals
“Bri, hurry up! Your mom is gonna have us both in coffins if we’re late!” Jenna shouts from her car window, pressing her hand on the horn as if that’ll get her friend to move any faster. Sabrina scurries down the steps, expertly applying deep maroon lipstick without so much as a stumble in her six-inch heels.
Jenna looks Sabrina up and down as she opens the passenger door, her deep set eyes heavy with judgment. “You know we’re going to a funeral right? Not the Met Gala.”
“And your point being? It’s not like it’s a crime to look fabulous–even if it’s for the dead.” Sabrina winks, her dimples flashing as she smiles in amusement. “Now step on it, we’ve got my boyfriend’s funeral to get to.”
“He was mine too, you know.” Jenna grips the wheel tightly, her voice dropping to a mutter, “Well, before you came along and charmed him with your big blonde locks and bubbly personality.”
Smoke whirls behind them as Jenna presses harder on the gas pedal, the vintage car growling before jolting forward. The sleek black convertible takes flight, jerking Sabrina back in her seat as she clutches her pearls for dear life. She mourns for her perfectly done curls, now ruined as the Santa Ana winds rip through them.
“Hey! Was that really necessary? I thought we left all that behind us.” Sabrina looks at her in sincerity, hiding her annoyance.
“Of course,” Jenna grins. She glances over her shoulder as her dark hair dances in the wind, “I may have lost a boyfriend, but I gained a sister.”
Maybe it was the wind, or Jenna’s rare kindness, or the fact that their boyfriend was finally dead–but Sabrina’s watery eyes glisten, as she looks at Jenna with the fullest, most genuine smile.
“Nobody gets me like you do.” Sabrina reaches for Jenna’s hand and grips it tightly, Jenna squeezes back in reassurance.
“Now,” Jenna says, eyes darkening, “What’s our cover story?”
Sabrina’s mischievous smirk mirrors hers. “A tragic freak accident. The poor man was desperate, insecure—trying to reconcile with his exes. But he got hysterical, attacked us. We pushed him away, and he lost his balance. Fell right off the balcony, straight onto a gardening tool someone left lying around. Sliced clean through his torso. Horrible, really.”
“Perfect.” Jenna replies.
There’s a muffled thud coming from the trunk–something banging and bouncing against the walls.
Sabrina’s head snaps towards the noise. “What’s that sound coming from the trunk?” Her heart races–had there been a loose end? Or a witness they hadn’t accounted for? Or had Jenna taken matters into her own hands and disposed of another body without telling her?
“Relax hun, It’s just the chainsaw. Don’t worry, I already wiped off all the blood and soaked it in bleach–just like you said.” Jenna’s nonchalant and calm demeanor reassures any of Sabrina’s worries that still hovered over her. “We just need to make a quick stop at the beach so we can get rid of the evidence.”
“Covering up a murder is exhausting. Think we have time to stop for espresso? I’ve lost a lot of sleep since last week and need a bit of a pick me up.”
Jenna glances at her watch, “Yeah, we’ve got time.” She makes a fast detour, and blows through the last few seconds of the yellow light.
Sunlight streams through the windshield as they slip on their oversized sunglasses. Their grins widen, glowing brightly as they exchange a look–carefree, weightless, and untouchable.
