Trucker Hat Guy
We walk into this historic theater, and the place is a whole mood. I look around while we stand in line just outside the sitting area. The wooden backs of the folded chairs are perfectly polished, the domed blue ceiling is lit to look like a starry sky - this place is nice, but it’s been turned into something darker and even more decadent for tonight’s show. The air is thick with the smell of candle wax and sex, mixed with maybe perfume or sweat or some combo of those.
Men walk the aisles offering an assortment of condoms and lube to those in need, and trust me, this audience is full of people in need.
Women walk by dressed in corsets and lace, like burlesque dolls. Others saunter by completely naked. It’s a wild scene. I squeeze in close to my friend.
“What have you gotten me into?”
She rubs my arm and lays her head on my shoulder.
“Relax. It’s gonna be fun…have an open mind.”
I’m thinking, open mind, open legs…guess it’s all the same tonight.
We finally reach the front of the line where a guy in a full furry suit asks, “Audience or Performer?”
I glance at my friend for a cue, but get no acknowledgment. Instead, she puts her hands on her hips and says, “I’m a Performer, darling.”
I clear my throat. “Ok, well, I guess I’m Audience.”
The man in the suit chuckles, the sound muffled behind his oversized wolf’s head. I just want to know who thought it was cute to have a wolf at the door?
After he locks away our phones, he leans in close, and my fingers instinctively curl into a fist.
“Feel free to sit back and have fun with yourself. I’ll be watching,” he says.
I step back and put my hand in his face, forcing him to back up.
“Ok Wile E. Coyote, that’s weird as fuck!”
My friend snatches me away and pulls me toward our seats.
“River, this is a safe space. You can’t clown him for being a furry.”
“Please get the fuck out of here! He said he’d be watching me if I masturbate. It’s not a safe space if they got a horny wolf roaming around.”
I sigh and flop down in my seat.
“Every guy in here looks like he walked here on his face,” I groan.
My friend shakes her head.
“River, it’s not about looks. It’s about the challenge and overcoming our fears.”
I roll my eyes, fold my arms, and slam my back against the chair. “Fuck outta here, Ashley. Fear of having sex with a stranger is a healthy fear. I’m never coming out with you again.”
Finally, the red velvet curtain opens, revealing a naked man and woman in bed. The lights dim and flickering candlelight casts long shadows across a stage that's designed like Dracula’s bedroom: dark satin sheets, towering candelabras, and heavy furniture create the scene.
The scent of coconut oil and latex is heavy in the air. The guy on stage moves with excitement, lubing the woman up. His hands glide over her body before he brings out this massive dildo! My eyes widen. Who knew they made dildos that big, and who can take all of that?? This guy shoves this monster slong inside her, hard and aggressive until she squirts, then the curtain closes.
I look around the theater, expecting some kind of collective reaction. Do we clap or snap for this shit or….? But no, people are fully locked into their world, banging each other.
I mean, they’re literally having sex all over the place. I look behind me and a woman is getting Eiffel Towered in the Mezzanine.
Others are pleasuring themselves in their seats. As time passes, the moans start low, rolling through the theater like a background track, a steady, humming chorus of pleasure. Then, I begin to hear the constant sound of wet orifices being penetrated. The sound is about as sexy as listening to your date smack and slurp his food during dinner.
I exhale and shift in my seat. Yeah, this is definitely not for me.
The time comes for their next pick. A naked woman steps from behind the curtain and walks to the edge of the stage, her voice dripping with seduction as she addresses the audience.
“It’s time for the next lucky pair of lovers. Remember, you don’t have to agree to perform, but if you’re up for it, stand up and let your lover know you’re interested.”
My friend scans the room like she’s on the hunt. Meanwhile, the naked woman locks eyes with me and points.
“You! You look like you need some playtime.”
I glance from side to side before pointing at myself to confirm.
Me?
She nods with an almost sinister smile, and you can’t tell me Wile E. Coyote doesn’t have something to do with her choosing me because I’m not wearing a performer sticker. I stay put, waiting to see who she’s going to pair me with.
She scans the room, dragging out the suspense. A few hands shoot up like kids begging to be picked in class, except way less innocent. Finally, she lands on her choice.
“You, in the trucker hat!”
I immediately cringe. She picked someone who’s wearing a trucker hat? Oh, hell no. My stomach drops, and I hop up from my seat, making a beeline for the door. When I get to the end of my row, I see the Trucker Hat Guy standing there looking at me, and I freeze.
He is tall and tan, with a chiseled jawline and a neatly shaped 5 o’clock shadow. His eyes are dark, fierce, and soft all at once. And his body….how did I miss him?
“Ok...ok, I’ll perform!” I say as if someone’s been twisting my arm.
The naked woman leads us backstage and begins to lay out the rules like a school teacher. Suddenly, my mind squirrels - what if she is a schoolteacher? Can you imagine coming to a live porn show and seeing your child’s preschool teacher standing on the stage butt-ass naked? Parent-teacher conferences will never be the same!
Anywho, she’s rattling off the particulars, “Safety first. Condoms are under the pillows, and the linen has been changed. No kissing or oral, if you do, use dental dams…also under the pillow. How much you do or don’t do is up to you. Penetration isn’t required, but the audience likes it. Boundaries…blah, blah, blah.” The woman’s voice fades away, drowned out by my desire for him.
He’s watching me, taking his time, committing every inch of me to memory. I’m just as guilty, caught up in the way his body moves beneath his clothes, and the subtle flex of his muscles with each breath he takes, and the way he smells.
He reaches for me, curling his fingers around my waist as he pulls me close.
Then he kisses me.
Soft. Slow. Like he’s savoring the first taste. His hands slip beneath my shirt, skimming over my skin, taking my breath away. My body purrs under his touch. My fingers slip lower, tracing a path into his pants.
He pulls back just enough to look at me. His eyes are dreamy and stormy, like he’s caught between desire and restraint. Then, he walks over to the bed and the thought of having sex with a stranger in front of people makes my heart sink but if you think for one moment that I’m not going to excellently execute the fuck out of this fine ass man….you haven’t been paying attention.
He grips the hem of his sweater and pulls it over his head. And damn, his body is perfect.
He curls his finger, calling me to him, and I obey. He wants to be in control, so I let him be… for now.
He pulls my shirt over my head, and his soft lips are all over me. My fingers slide through his curly, wavy brown hair, gripping just enough to let him know I like what he’s doing.
He unhooks my bra like he’s done it a million times. His hands handle me with ease.
“Are you ready?” the naked woman whispers behind us.
I wiggle out of my jeans and step out of my panties, sliding them to the side with my foot. He removes his dick from his pants and my pearl begins to throb at the sight of it. I exhale. “I’m ready,” I say as I grab a condom and push him back onto the bed.
I straddle him and wait for the curtain to open before I slide him inside me, staring into his eyes while I work my hips, taking more of him, inch by inch.
Once he’s deep inside me, I’m so full and stretched! I'm holding on with everything I've got. I lean forward and place my hands on his chest, popping up and down on his length, and he immediately responds.
He moans as he grips my thighs and thrusts in rhythm with me. His reaction encourages me to bounce harder and faster.
His body tenses under me as he groans. I slow it down and switch to back-and-forth grinding while squeezing my muscles around his length. He closes his eyes, but I want him focused on me, so I lean closer, my lips just touching his.
“Be a good boy and cum for me.”
As the curtain closes, his body shudders through a climax. Once he’s done, I glance down at him with a cocked brow and a smile, feeling accomplished like I beat the final boss on my first try.
While I’m backstage getting dressed, Trucker Hat Guy grabs me and scribbles his number on my stomach with a Sharpie. Then, he puts his Trucker Hat on my head and pulls it down snug before leaving. I giggle as he walks away.
Did he just mark his territory?
When I get back to my seat, I casually check the crowd for him, but he’s nowhere to be found.
My friend is over-the-top excited.
“Trucker Hat Guy had that thang, but you handled it!”
I don’t answer, partially because I’m not ready to hear her give commentary on my sexual performance and partially because I’m too busy searching, my eyes darting between faces, hoping I somehow missed him. My friend’s voice cuts through my thoughts again.
“Wait… he gave you his hat?”
I blink, suddenly aware of its weight on my head, and run a hand over the brim, feeling the worn fabric.
“Yeah… yeah, he did.”
She hums with amusement. “Ha! Guess you're his now.”
I keep looking, rubbing my palms against my shaking legs. This time, my friend notices.
“He left before you got back to your seat. Why are you so nervous? The scary part is over.”
I exhale and lean back. Suddenly, a jolt of fear shoots through me, “The wolf…the wolf was watching, wasn’t he?!”
My friend covers her mouth with laughter and nods.
“Ashley, what if Wile E. Coyote is your dad?”
We burst into laughter even though this is a possibility - a statistical improbability, but a possibility still.
Listen to the read aloud on YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbmjjzqzrpcSPf1Zp5JRuw_n_6wwYqq1X&si=LVwid6ondjIMMcMw
