𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

I always wonder what it feels like. to be successful in what you dream of, to achieve what you wished for—someone who’s always getting what they want by just thinking or dreaming of it. I always envy those people who didn’t give much effort on what they do, but they still got it, while those people who give so much effort and are always determined to do their best in the end fail to have it-yeah, I felt that because I am one of those people who did their best, but in the end, it all goes to waste.

Watching people live their dreams always feels unfair to me. Why? People get what they want without doing much of anything, while those who are struggling still fail. Sometimes I think that this is because of what I have done in my past life—which I wonder if it’s true or just some tale that people believe, including me—to feel what being suffocated, caged, and trapped is. Could not breathe or think properly in a crowded place where people are achieving their goals, while here I am standing still thinking on what I should do to be useful for once in my life, but in the end all I do is watch and watch people finally know how to manage their lives, unlike me still trapped in people’s shadows, depending on them even if I try to not be dependent on them.

I tried to fit in to be seen for once, but they have never taken a single glance at me—it’s like I don’t even exist in this world full of successful people. I am just a failure, a nobody, an unknown person, or a ghost for people to walk past me. After so many years, I tried to be different—to be someone who can still stand after so many wars that have been fought so many times and let the old and new scars be visible to the world.

I finally realized even those people who achieved their goals have their own battles but never show their scars, but others do the opposite. They show theirs to let them know even people who succeeded to be on the top struggle to get on top, and that inspires me to do the same thing.

I would try to see the positive side to move forward—to distract myself from doing something that I may not regret doing it—because I know it might be hard or difficult, but in the end, God knows what’s best for me. I just have to be patient and believe what HE has for me.

DON’T TRAP YOURSELF IN A CAGE THAT NEVER EXISTS TO FLY FOR YOUR FREEDOM.