Chapter 1: Two Pink Lines (Eric Church)
DEFCON mode activated... this is not supposed to happen. I can’t be a father. Shit, I finally decided to commit to Candace. Now, that isn’t going to happen. She would never accept being my girlfriend now. Hell, let’s not even consider being ready; I am not even responsible enough to be a father… that is clear.
It is not adding up; my brain is trying to add one plus one and getting fifty-three. How the hell could she have gotten pregnant? We were only together once. True, I was a little drunk, but I wasn’t that drunk. I pulled a condom on myself from my own stash. That lesson I learned from my father’s past. Never use or rely on someone else’s protection; only trust yourself, or you might end up with twins. God, twins... please tell me she doesn’t have twins. I know the condom wasn’t broken; I checked. Now, that would have been an accident. If it had, I would have encouraged her to take the morning-after pill. That might make me a giant asshat, but hell no, am I ready for a baby? Especially with some buckle bunny I barely know and had an unmemorable night with once.
“What do you mean by ‘accidents happen,’ Anna?” I am seething, my rage building and radiating in response to her. She takes a gulp and takes an involuntary step backward. I must have fire in my eyes from her response. Yeah, I am pissed, but I need to take it down a notch if I am going to get to the bottom of this.
“I didn’t know you were this dumb, River. What do you think could happen if we had sex? We fucked; 12 weeks later, I learned that I was pregnant, and here I am standing in front of you with your kid growing in my belly,” Anna nonchalantly says as if it is no big deal. News flash… IT’S A BIG DEAL!
I step back, needing a big gulp of air and trying to calm myself down. I imagine my meditation routine for pre-ride prep. I need to find my center. I can do this; I can have this infuriating conversation with his woman. I will try again.
“Anna, this is a big accident, and we used my protection, I am sure of it. I put it on myself. Hell, you assured me you were on birth control as you were trying to convince me not to wrap my dick up. With double the protection, how did you get pregnant?” Now, I am even more proud of myself for always wrapping it up, let alone being sober enough to remember. I guess she was trying to rope me into a kid with her.
She fidgets with her hands, looking down, toeing at something imaginary on the ground. Then, like a light switch, she straightens up with her chin jutting out, trying for a power performance, “I don’t know what to tell you on the how besides you are the one that stuck your dick in me… poof baby.” Like, I am the only one who stuck their dick in this woman. Her whole persona screams slut.
Then it hits me, “Were you trying for me to get you pregnant?” I practically breathe fire at her.
“No River. You think I want to be tied to you for the rest of my life. Hell no. That is the last thing I want in my life. All you would bring me is nothing but trouble.” Showing just as much anger at the accusation, although there is something more in her eyes, telling a different story. Huh...
I am getting nowhere with this maddening woman. I need to get to the bottom of this quickly and get away fast to think it through. I fire off my next question, hoping for answers, “If you learned 12 weeks into the pregnancy, why am I just learning of this now?” As I waved my hand over her, I noticed that she was obviously more than 12 weeks pregnant. She is starting to crack with her nonchalant attitude. She is nervous and lashing out.
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would ever tell you, River. You are not exactly father material, being the Captain of the ‘Fuck and Run Squad’ and all; however, in recent months, you appear to be calming down. It might be best for the baby to let you know and be an active part of their life.
She wasn’t going to tell me. Seriously?! She wasn’t going to TELL ME?! That is her answer to me. Fuming isn’t even the right description; I am volcanic now, feeling the burn of anger across my skin. I have never been this mad in my life. Who the hell does she think she is to tell me I am not father material?! Sure, I might think that because I am panicking, but she doesn’t have the right to withhold a baby from any father, let alone judge me. Additionally, she is not demonstrating superior responsibility now, nor is she likely to in the future.
I am gasping for air like it is my last breath at this point, and my heart is pounding through my chest. Closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose, “I want a paternity test, Anna. As you say, if I am not father material, we should be extra confident that the baby is mine.” I blasted my response to her. She took another step back as if I had given her a verbal blow. Hell, she is the one who gave me a verbal blow first. She wants to throw the gauntlet; I will be more than happy to pick it up.
“The paternity test is not necessary; the baby is yours.”
“Oh, it is fucking necessary. You call me the Captain of the Fuck and Runs; well, you are the Semen Connoisseur of the Rodeo Circuit. You will ride any cowboy with a chance at a buckle,” Anna wobbled her lower lip as if she was going to cry at my insult. “Tears aren’t going to protect you, sweetheart. You’re playing dirty, and that is bullshit.”
She shifts like the wind again, “Do you realize that people just tolerate you? You’re a giant ass whose ego couldn’t fit the arena.”
“Ego…. Really? If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.”
I stared at the ceiling, huffing, asking for help from the divine. Dear Lord, please give me the strength to deal with this infuriating woman. I need to get out of here, regroup, and figure out what to do next. Wait a second. She must want something if she’s telling me this now.
“Three months before the baby is due, you come to me at a PBR event and tell me you are pregnant with my child. I have seen you over the past six months, grasping at the attention of any straight male here. Why are you coming at me now? What is it you want from me?” I ask.
She squares her shoulders again, like she is preparing for battle, and replies, “As I said, you must be a part of this child’s life. That includes support—emotional, financial, and physical. This child deserves to know her father, and you will support her and me.”
“Her?” I asked, stunned. My world had turned on its axis once again. I was having a baby girl.
“Yes, the baby is a girl. I found out the sex of the child not long ago,” she responds, her nonchalant attitude mask fully back.
“You come to me practically popping this kid out, not thinking about me supporting this child throughout the pregnancy, but just when there is another mouth to feed? As I have said, I have seen you around since that night. Even though we never exchanged numbers, you had ways to contact me. I don’t even know where you’re from. Hell, I do not even know anything about you.” Take another pause to calm myself down as my voice rises with every word. She handed me a piece of paper with her name and phone number, along with someone else’s name and number.
“What is this?” Looking down at this scrap piece of paper in my hand.
“It is my contact information as well as my attorney.” In a duh voice. Damn, she is a bitch. For someone fighting me on paternity, she sure had that prepared. “If you insist on proceeding with this test, you will need that information.”
I take a big breath and say, “I will contact my lawyer and find a trusted medical facility to process results for our review,” pausing to see her reaction as she tightens up. There is a nervousness in her eyes. “Once the facility confirms the identity of the father and if the child is truly mine, we will proceed to discuss placement and support of the child.” Interestingly, she performs a good act, but her eyes reveal all, making the doubts about whether this child is mine even more pronounced.
“What the hell does that mean, River?!” she shouts. “You think you are going to take my child away from me; you have another thing coming. I will bury you in the courts, and you will be lucky to have visitation with the ass attitude you have.”
“I will have my lawyers contact you. Clearly, you and I should go through our lawyers at this stage.” I firmly respond as I turn around and storm off toward my family.
All I wanted was to race to the hotel and call my girl, but now, will she ever be my girl?
