Speaking Though Barriers

AUGUST 10TH, 1966

I walked in the streets of New York City. I didn't know any there. But i was going to meet someone, oh i was going to meet someone very soon.

Theres a lot of things to cover. Like what was i wearing. Or things like that.

I was wearing my favorite color; My favorite color is white. So I was wearing a white sweater and black bell bottoms. Before I left Hong Kong to move to New York, my mother told me that bell bottoms were very American, and that if I wore them I would fit in. So I'm wearing them so I can "fit in"

My long black hair draped my shoulders. It was right below my chest.

I kept a bag with me. For the moment I would be staying in Chelsea hotel, Later on I would be moving to "The Dakota".

My mother also told me that spring courts were very popular in America. so I wore them so I can "blend in".

The streets were bustling full. There was barely any sidewalk room for me. I've never heard so insulting words in my life. "Hey, im walking here you little c#cks#cker!". "You f#gg#t!".

People in these streets we're not kind. It was like a completely different world. From China of course.

At this time I only knew little English. The basic stuff. So I was little bit ready if anyone asked me anything.

Suddenly, a man walked up to me. A man with strong hazel eyes and hair that's browner than a boot.

I was not ready as I thought.

"Sorry sorry no English!"

I quickly shut down the upcoming conversation.

But he didn't let down.

He tried everything he could. Writing on papers, using little fragments of Mandarin, or just overall speaking.

I feel like he didn't understand me when I said "no English". He was writing in Goddamn English first of all.

Soon I felt I wasn't going anywhere with this "conversation", or shall I say "failed interactment".

I started to walk away. I just wanted to get to the Chelsea hotel so I can finally let loose.

I didn't get far when he grabbed me. This is very disrespectful in China. Don't touch people you don't know. My family made it very clear when I was younger.

My shyness takes over. I tuck my hair behind my ear not giving exact eye contact.

At this point I need to assume.

"You need help. Uhh direction! Is that so!"

I say in my very heavy accented and broken English. This is going to be hard. I've never interacted with a American man before.

He takes quite some time to write something down on paper, looking back and forth at a flip book.

"你好，我的名字是約翰·藍儂。你的是什麼"

(Hello, my name is John Lennon. Whats yours?)

We were finally getting somewhere. I know how to introduce myself in English, but that will make him think I know English. Which I don't.

So I introduced myself in Mandarin.

"你好...約翰，我是 May Zang"

(Hello John...im May Zang)

Now that I knew his name, I was starting to catch feelings.

Words could not and would not come out my mouth. I was like a child who just got a cavity filled.

At the moment I had an arranged marriage. This marriage was to Ru Tai. I hate to say this, but I moved to New York to get away from the arranged marriage. I was technically engaged. Just not fully married. Ru told me to come back to Hong Kong in time for the wedding. Too late.

But back to the real life. Or is this just fantasy. It feels like I'm caught in a landslide. No escape from humanity.

After I wrote my introduction on the paper he wrote back.

"嗨，五月。那你多大了"

(Hi may. So how old are you)

Any child would say I'm working overtime of life by my age. The big 3 0. Yes I'm 30.

But it's easy come, easy go.

Little high, little low.

"我30歲了"

(I'm 30)

This John guy seems flabbergasted when he decodes my words.

We told each other about our marriages (I'm not married yet). And about his long-term girlfriend and wife Cynthia. She seems kind and pretty on the inside and out. There's always a glimmer to her.

While my... Fiance. Is way more rough and rugged. He has shaggy black hair which is looked down opon in China. He always wears suits that smell like Nickles, and look like they're a floor with wear and tear on it.

Cynthia seems way more tame. Refreshing really.

It makes me feel almost bad that I like her husband. John's not so bad anyway