My Refuge

"While searching for a goal, humans often encounter what they were not looking for, and this coincidence permanently changes the course of their lives."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

On a cold winter morning, she stood on the sidewalk, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so that the cars would stop, allowing her to cross the road. The sky was covered with clouds, and the cold winds slapped her face as if it were endless blows of cold. The air was laden with the scent of imminent rain, and the trees, bare of leaves, seemed like skeletal structures clinging to the ground.

Her thoughts were tangled like spider webs tossed by the winds, contemplating the faces of passersby, her eyes searching for something she couldn't identify. Sorrow squeezed her heart like an iron fist, and pain weighed heavily on her chest like a massive rock. Loneliness consumed her slowly, like hunger devouring a frail body. She felt lost in a sea of turbulent emotions, tossed from one wave to another.

Her eyes were tired from excessive thinking and sleeplessness. The nights passed as if they were ages, and darkness engulfed her from all sides. She pondered over everything and nothing at once; over the days gone by, over the disappointments that followed her. Loneliness swallowed her like the ocean swallows a drop of water, leaving her no room to breathe or escape.

Suddenly, she caught sight of a handsome young man standing beside her, dressed in a formal suit, holding his smartphone. He was immersed in his phone screen, browsing through news or perhaps messages, while she was engulfed in the sea of her loneliness and pain. He seemed entirely preoccupied, as if the outside world meant nothing to him. His handsomeness and elegance caught her attention, but there was something inside him that didn't match the coldness of the world around him.

The young man raised his eyes from his phone screen and looked at her with surprise, saying, "Why are you looking at me like that?!"

She silently asked herself, her eyes still fixed on him, "He's right, why am I looking at him like this... but I feel like I want to talk to him for some reason... Am I going crazy now?!"

With unexpected boldness, she overcame her hesitation and suddenly asked him, with the dumbest question that could come to anyone's mind at that moment, "Am... am I ugly?!"

He responded with complete astonishment at her sudden question to him in this place and to a stranger she didn't know, "What?!!?!!?"

She turned her eyes away from him in the opposite direction, closing her eyes in regret for what she had done, having a conversation with herself again, "What did I say... Someone get me out of this mess, what did I say to him... Who is he to ask him this question?! Oh, my head and what it thinks."

But her courage slipped past the gust of wind confidently, "I ask you... Are... am I really ugly?! Too thin to bear or too fat to accept by the eyes... and is my hair terrifying?!"

He looked at her, trying to understand what was happening to him and who this person fundamentally was to ask him all these questions, and the trouble was that he felt compelled to answer her questions... looking at her again to find a girl of extreme sweetness and beauty, a girl with black eyes the color of burnt coffee, something not seen often, but truly beautiful, so he tried to hide his tension, but his words betrayed him, coming out broken, "N... n... no... you're beautiful... very beautiful and charming."

She continued her questions, her eyes fixed on him, "And my hair?!" She touched her shiny black locks with her small hand to show it to him.

He looked at her, bewildered by her actions, "The color is beautiful... no... amazing," and all this while signs of astonishment filled his features in amazement at this situation.

She turned her eyes away from him, and the sadness began to dominate her face, "Then... why doesn't anyone tell me that?!"

He looked at her with complete surprise at her state and her question, saying in bewilderment, "Tell you what?!"

She looked at him, her eyes filled with mystery and sadness, both of them as if in a struggle over who would come out first, so she answered him calmly in her tone, her eyes directed towards him, "What you said... why don't they tell me that I'm beautiful and charming and that my hair has a beautiful and amazing color... am I a plant that no one cares about?! Doesn't anyone love me?! Why doesn't anyone care about me?!"

There was a moment of silence between them, lost in what had just happened on this quiet day, but it seemed that it was no longer quiet and was not quiet on her mind, so he started to respond to her, filled with confusion over her questions, "I... I don't... think so... I think they haven't noticed... and maybe life has made them forget."

She turned her eyes away from him in dismissal as if she heard what she feared hearing from him or from anyone else, "Yes... thank you for your kind words and exquisite taste..." and then she looked back at him with those wide eyes and the innocence in her features filled her face until she became like children in her saying, "Can I ask you for a favor?"

And after he took his gaze away from her, she surprised him with another request other than her strange questions, so he looked at her in anxiety about what this girl was doing, "Huh?! Me?!"

She smiled gently, ordering him as if she didn't ask him, "Yes, you... can I ask someone other than you?"

He looked around, then looked back at her, hoping that the colors of that signal would change so that he could flee from her, "No... okay, go ahead."

She smiled at him and hugged her chest as if she were ordering him not asking him, "Buy me a cup of coffee."

He turned to her with his entire body, completely surprised by her request that exceeded his boundaries, his eyes expressing looks of astonishment and wonder that she had ordered him, "What?!!!"

She looked away from him, staring ahead with a tone devoid of care, "Why are you looking at me like that?!" She pointed with her hand towards a narrow street, then continued confidently, "Alright... there's a nice café nearby from here... buy me from there... and I will pay for whatever you buy."

In evident discomfort, he glanced at the signal where the green light appeared, and everyone began to cross the street in silence... each lost in their own thoughts, except for the two-standing motionless. He expressed his frustration, announcing the end of the conversation, "I really don't understand what you're telling me... but I'm really busy and will be late for work..." He found her looking at him with sadness at his answer, trying to ignore the pain in his heart that he felt because of her innocent features, then he continued, "If you'll excuse me... I need to go," as he started to take the first step to cross the road, he heard her voice quietly, her eyes directed towards the sky, "Why do you work?"

He stopped in his tracks, searching for another answer to her question, wanting to leave but there was something holding him back, yet he refused to leave without answering her, "I work at a company."

She returned her gaze to him, her playful voice and her small smile on her lips teasing him, "No, no, you didn't hear my question properly," and she let out another gentle laugh, making him reciprocate it unconsciously, then she continued speaking, "I asked you why you work? By that, I mean... why do you wake up early every morning and dress in your best... like what you're wearing now? Is it all for the money? Don't you know that we'll die and money won't benefit us?" as she gestured to his tasteful clothing with her strong voice.

Another laugh escaped from him as he approached her, she stood at the corner of the road, saying, her eyes following his steps until he reached her, "I didn't expect to encounter a bundle of optimism this morning."

Silence became their companion, as everyone walked in complete preoccupation, she started to move forward in front of him quietly, saying, "Be silent... I've already decided..." She looked at him with a hopeful gaze, "Come with me to the café."

He turned to her in complete astonishment at what he heard from her, "Are you crazy?!"

She looked away from him, having taken her first two steps on the road before the red light ended, "No..." Then she turned back to him, grabbing the cuff of his black shirt with her small hand, "But I don't want to drink coffee alone today."

It was as if a shock ran through him as she touched him, he never expected to encounter a situation like this, so he looked at her in surprise at her action, until the words came out of him with clear tension between them, "If you please... let me... I'm really... I'm late for work."

She looked at him for a moment in silence, then withdrew her hand in surrender, "Go."

He looked at her in astonishment at her words, for a moment thinking she would drag him along to the café, but now she had left him in peace. He wondered, puzzled, "Go to where?!"

She turned to him after taking a deep breath, as if waging a war within herself, and with a strong and bold tone, she said, "To your work that you're late for... I know attention isn't asked for, sir... When you grow old and your bones ache, you'll regret missing that cup of coffee."

She started talking to herself, reproaching herself for her words, "I swear I'm crazy... I never imagined this conversation between us and these words that came out of me to him, and I don't even know him..." At the same time, he looked at her in incomprehension of what she said or what his ears heard of her reproach, as if leaving his beloved after promising her something, he looked at her in a little surprise, then left, distancing himself from her... Ignoring the conflict raging in her mind because of what she had done.

As he walked away from her, she began to lift her black locks in a spontaneous movement of distress from what she had done a moment ago, saying in surrender, "Oh, what have you done, girl... what have you done!" She found that the red light had returned, so she returned to her place... but this time he was not there, leaving the questions silent inside her head.

.........................................

After the young man left, she crossed the street calmly and confidently, filled with a strong aura despite her sadness and pain. Her steps were steady as if she were trying to prove to herself before others that she could face it. She continued walking on a narrow street under a bright sky with the morning sun, where the sunlight slowly spread around, but the clouds hid some of it, leaving some as if in a gentle struggle with the sun rays.

The weather was cold despite the sunlight, which had not yet dissipated the chill in the air. She continued to walk until she reached the end of the road, where a vast sea stretched out before her, reflecting the sparkle of the sun on its calm waters. In the last building that could be seen, there was a simple café topped with an old yet beautiful and delicate sign, bearing the name of the café overlooking the sea. The café had a special charm, combining the mild sea breeze with the coolness of the air and the warmth of the sun peeking through the clouds.

She entered the café, her mind still in a state of shock from what she had said and done in that strange conversation that took place between her and the handsome young man. She sat in a quiet corner, overlooking the sea, and took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts. That moment was unexpected, and even the simplest questions could be the beginning of something new.

Inside the simple café, she was greeted by a warm and pleasant atmosphere despite the cold weather outside. The place had a special charm that attracted the soul and warmed it like a warmth that comes to the soul after its coldness. Inside the café, there was a small library with a curated collection of books, filling the shelves with covers of various colors. All the chairs were made of polished wood, adding a touch of warmth and nature to the place. The wooden tables were covered with beautiful and delicate tablecloths, intricately woven as if they carried old stories in their threads.

The walls were adorned with simple artistic paintings, reflecting the beauty and mystery of the sea. Sunlight shyly crept through the large windows, spreading its warmth throughout the café, mingled with the aroma of fresh coffee filling the place. Soft lights hung from the ceiling, creating an atmosphere of intimacy and comfort. On each window of the café, there were green plants blooming, adding a touch of life and nature, as if bridging the gap between the inside and outside, between the warmth of the café and the coolness of the air.

In one corner, there was a small fireplace dancing with flames inside, radiating its warmth to those sitting nearby. Soft music quietly whispered into the ears, adding another dimension of comfort and tranquility to the visitor's experience. The café was bustling with life despite its simplicity, as if it were a sanctuary for those seeking a moment of peace away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world.

She sat in a quiet corner, overlooking the sea, and took a deep breath. She felt profound relief, as if this place had been waiting for her to give her a moment of peace amidst the chaos of her emotions. She contemplated the simple yet deep details of the café and surrendered to its warmth, feeling that life still held beauty to be discovered even in the simplest things.

But she didn't order any coffee today. Her inner conversation, though the aroma of coffee had enchanted her with its beauty, "Maybe because I told him I wouldn't drink coffee alone today," she took a deep breath to continue, "I don't know...."

She sat in a quiet corner of the café, gazing at the sea and the sky, her eyes wandering between the blue waves and the scattered white clouds in the sky. She contemplated this enchanting natural scene as if searching for peace of mind amid that distant horizon and the endless water. The waves gently lapped at the shore, and their sounds were like soothing music calming the soul and alleviating the weight of tired thoughts.

The sky above was changeable, combining a shy sun with clouds moving slowly as if in a slow dance with the winds. She looked at them attentively and calmly, as if trying to find in the meeting of the sea and the sky an answer to her questions, or perhaps a refuge from her troubled thoughts.

Minutes passed, perhaps not too few or too many, during which she felt a kind of tranquility creeping into her heart. She decided to enhance this feeling of comfort by ordering a cup of tea. She raised her hand with a gentle gesture to the waiter, who approached with a quiet smile. She asked him for a cup of tea, her eyes still fixed on the sea, searching its horizon for the peace she longed for with all her strength.

She sat waiting for the tea, listening to the whispers of nature around her, immersed in her deep contemplations, as if she found in this warm café a temporary refuge from the storms of her daily life.

She remembered that she had forgotten this novel sleeping in her bag, she pulled it out searching for something to fill her heart and bring some peace to her troubled mind. Until she encountered the sentence "Life is too expensive to sell and too cheap to buy"... and here her small lips smiled in the glow of what she read, for that sentence is wonderful and sums up many words in this life... her thoughts were interrupted by someone who attracted the neighboring chair to her in quietness, saying loudly, "Have I kept you waiting?"